Feeling confused, tired & not like me

[PJ]

1 wk tomorrow I will have my spect scan & hopefully soon after that an explanation for why I am how I am now.
I really don’t know what to make of it all atm. Yesterday I called my son by a totally different name, not even a name of someone we know. It really upset me, we laughed it off & made no big deal of it but it did shock me. I’m still making up words that don’t exist & loose track of things. I feel so slow & I keep thinking could this all be down to depression? Would it do all of this if I wasn’t depressed now? Sorry for rambling but I can feel myself getting worse & it’s frightening.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @PJ
I think the wait to hear news of a health condition (mine was a cancer) is almost the toughest part as we feel so lacking in control and without information we can't settle to coping with whatever .... - so I hope it helps a little that you can post here
sending warm thoughts on this cold day

 

[PJ]

hi @PJ
I think the wait to hear news of a health condition (mine was a cancer) is almost the toughest part as we feel so lacking in control and without information we can't settle to coping with whatever .... - so I hope it helps a little that you can post here
sending warm thoughts on this cold day

You are right the lack of control over the whole thing is so unsettling. Thank you for your support

 

[margherita]

Hi @PJ,
Isn't there anyone who can share your worries with you ?

 

[PJ]

Hi @PJ,
Isn't there anyone who can share your worries with you ?

Hi I can phone mem clinic & leave a message for the lady I see but really until I’ve had the scan I know she will just say we have to wait not long now. She is very good but I don’t see the point in phoning her.
My husband is very supportive but I know he’s very worried too.

 

[Tricot]

Hello PJ
So sorry to hear of your difficulties. It is frightening. I didn't realise how much we take for granted when our brains are working normally. It's so disconcerting when things change suddenly. My worst times so far are when I've lost something. I just don't have the ability to retrace my steps any more and I get in a complete and utter panic, tearful, infuriated, desperate and lost.
It's an anxious time waiting for your scan and an explanation. It could be depression. It could be other things. Like me, you long to find another explanation. We have to wait and see.Try to make the most of your time with your husband. I'm glad he's so supportive.

 

[karaokePete]

Hi @PJ, sorry to read that you have a bit of a panic on.

Many years ago I made a decision by which I have lived since that day. The decision was that it is fruitless to worry about things that I cannot change so I stopped doing it. When faced with something that could go a number of ways give some thought to what to do in the even of A,B or C, but don’t worry about it. You have your appointment, you can’t change it, time will bring it around, stop worrying. What if it’s dementia - plan for how to live well with that. What if it’s not dementia, plan the next trip to the Dr to explore what it could be. Either way, stop worrying.
When the contingency plans are made there is nothing more you can do so focus on something else to make life better in the moment instead of letting anxiety ruin the ‘now’.
My wife constantly frets about past mistakes and worries about future possibilities. I constantly remind her that we are living in the present, not the past, not the future, and we are usually having a fine and dandy time in the present.
It’s a philosophy that works for me but is, mostly, wasted on my wife. I just thought I’d throw it into the discussion to see if it could work for you. Stay strong. Stay positive.

 

[PJ]

Hello PJ
So sorry to hear of your difficulties. It is frightening. I didn't realise how much we take for granted when our brains are working normally. It's so disconcerting when things change suddenly. My worst times so far are when I've lost something. I just don't have the ability to retrace my steps any more and I get in a complete and utter panic, tearful, infuriated, desperate and lost.
It's an anxious time waiting for your scan and an explanation. It could be depression. It could be other things. Like me, you long to find another explanation. We have to wait and see.Try to make the most of your time with your husband. I'm glad he's so supportive.

Hi Tricot it’s so lovely to hear from you I feel we are on the same road atm neither of us knows which way it’s going to go but hopefully we will soon. Thank you for understanding

 

[PJ]

Hi @PJ, sorry to read that you have a bit of a panic on.

Many years ago I made a decision by which I have lived since that day. The decision was that it is fruitless to worry about things that I cannot change so I stopped doing it. When faced with something that could go a number of ways give some thought to what to do in the even of A,B or C, but don’t worry about it. You have your appointment, you can’t change it, time will bring it around, stop worrying. What if it’s dementia - plan for how to live well with that. What if it’s not dementia, plan the next trip to the Dr to explore what it could be. Either way, stop worrying.
When the contingency plans are made there is nothing more you can do so focus on something else to make life better in the moment instead of letting anxiety ruin the ‘now’.
My wife constantly frets about past mistakes and worries about future possibilities. I constantly remind her that we are living in the present, not the past, not the future, and we are usually having a fine and dandy time in the present.
It’s a philosophy that works for me but is, mostly, wasted on my wife. I just thought I’d throw it into the discussion to see if it could work for you. Stay strong. Stay positive.

Hi KPete, Thank you for your reassuring words. I know you are right & no matter how much we worry nothing will change, the answer won’t arrive any sooner. You are right if it is dementia we will cope & if it’s not we will try to find out what it is. The thought right now of not having an answer is just unbearable.
I will try my best not to worry about every crazy thought I have, how my mind feels different & what silly mistake I’m going to make next Instead I will try my best to focus on the good things in my life, I’m lucky as there are so many.
All the best

 

[karaokePete]

Hi KPete, Thank you for your reassuring words. I know you are right & no matter how much we worry nothing will change, the answer won’t arrive any sooner. You are right if it is dementia we will cope & if it’s not we will try to find out what it is. The thought right now of not having an answer is just unbearable.
I will try my best not to worry about every crazy thought I have, how my mind feels different & what silly mistake I’m going to make next Instead I will try my best to focus on the good things in my life, I’m lucky as there are so many.
All the best

Hi again @PJ, I should have added, don’t stress too much about the odd mistake. Twice my wife has got my name wrong but both times things were going on that may just have caused a bit of confusion so I wouldn’t put it down to a deterioration or think it’s the new norm. Further, the errors haven’t detracted from our overall quality of life and we both think that if that’s as bad as it gets for a while it’s no big issue as overall she is doing very well. As often as I remember, I just take a few deep breaths to help keep calm.

 

[margherita]

I will try my best not to worry about every crazy thought I have, how my mind feels different & what silly mistake I’m going to make next Instead I will try my best to focus on the good things in my life, I’m lucky as there are so many.

I'm pleased to read you have many good things in your life.
Some time ago a person suggested I should write a list of things to be grateful for.
Well, I discovered it is quite long, despite me complaining about "my sad life".
What could you be grateful for ?
Don't let anything out of your list..
Mine could start with " I have not a toothache any longer".

 

[PJ]

I'm pleased to read you have many good things in your life.
Some time ago a person suggested I should write a list of things to be grateful for.
Well, I discovered it is quite long, despite me complaining about "my sad life".
What could you be grateful for ?
Don't let anything out of your list..
Mine could start with " I have not a toothache any longer".

That’s so funny you mentioning toothache! Ive had toothache for a week. Had tooth out last Fri & then over the weekend I was in agony went back to dentist yesterday & he said I have dry socket OMG I’ve never had pain like it in my mouth before ​

 

[margherita]

That’s so funny you mentioning toothache! Ive had toothache for a week. Had tooth out last Fri & then over the weekend I was in agony went back to dentist yesterday & he said I have dry socket OMG I’ve never had pain like it in my mouth before ​

I have to do implants.. Which means the dentist has to pull out some teeth before.
I had a tooth pulled out last Saturday and my mouth was sore everywhere.
The dentist told me that doing implants is much less painful than having teeth pulled out. Hope he is right, but I am so scared

 

[PJ]

I have to do implants.. Which means the dentist has to pull out some teeth before.
I had a tooth pulled out last Saturday and my mouth was sore everywhere.
The dentist told me that doing implants is much less painful than having teeth pulled out. Hope he is right, but I am so scared

Oh bless you it’s horrible having work done on your teeth. I do hope your implants go well & pain free When are you having it done?
Over the last 10 mths I’ve had 2 big incisors our as they’ve had cracks in & been agony.
Must be an age thing

 

[margherita]

Hi @PJ,
I 'll have the implants done in two different appointments in April. The work could be done in one session (is that the right word? I am Italian, English isn't my language)but I am too anxious to stay hours lying on the dentist's chair.

 

[PJ]

Hi @PJ,
I 'll have the implants done in two different appointments in April. The work could be done in one session (is that the right word? I am Italian, English isn't my language)but I am too anxious to stay hours lying on the dentist's chair.

Wow I would not have guessed you were Italian! Your written English is amazing
I think that’s a sensible way of having the implants done over two visits I would do the same.

 

[margherita]

Wow I would not have guessed you were Italian! Your written English is amazing
I think that’s a sensible way of having the implants done over two visits I would do the same.

I studied English at school and university. I read English books and try to watch films in English, but they speak too fast.
Now I live in Northern Italy, in the country, among hills covered in vineyards, but I spent most of my life in Milan. When my husband retired in 2005, he decided he wanted to live in the country. Until 2014 he lived in the country, while I lived in Milan, we spent weekends and holidays together. When I retired I joined him, but I am not happy to live in this god forsaken place.
The positive side of life here is that I have three dogs here, all rescue dogs..I love them so much.
Do you have a pet?

 

[PJ]

Oh I love animals they bring so much happiness! I have a 16 mth old Pug called Kimbo & a 15 yr old tortoise called Herbie. They are led together now on their blanket so cute
We did have a rescue guinea pig too but sadly he died yesterday, he was 4 yrs old

 

[Tricot]

Hello @PJ Just to wish you well for tomorrow. You must be apprehensive. Try to get a good night's sleep. Good luck!

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @PJ Just to wish you well for tomorrow. You must be apprehensive. Try to get a good night's sleep. Good luck!

I second all that @PJ.
All my fingers and toes are crossed for you.