Hi everyone. I haven't posted on here for a while. I just plod on each day the best way I can. Many of you know Mum has been living with me since April and we went through a traumatic time with my having to go to the Court of Protection in London to attend hearings 3 times due to my sister trying to get "custody" of Mum, get financial deputyship (even though she is being investigated for financial abuse by the police) and a Dols order to try and prevent my Mum having contact with me and controlling who she saw and spoke to. The whole thing was just awful and my home constantly saw a stream of SW's, OT's, Police, Solicitors and a Psychiatrist in and out making our lives hell. Thankfully the court ruled in my favour and Mum was allowed to remain with me, which is where she wanted to remain. The LA are supposedly managing her money on a temporary basis until a Court Deputy is sorted (there are ongoing problems with that as they have left us with no money but that's another story!) and then we have the ongoing problems of contact between Mum and my sister. In the light of all that has happened and the fact that my sister hadn't had contact with Mum for many years, (until Mums partner died and she then financially and emotionally abused her), Mum now doesn't want contact. The SS have been appointed by the court to facilitate visits which haven't been going very well or haven't been happening at all. My sister has now reported me to SS to say I am not allowing her access which is untrue but I am not going to physically force Mum to see her if she doesn't want to. This has been an ongoing problem but SS have now written to say they think the best way forward is for my sister to visit my Mum once a fortnight in my home which I have to vacate. I'm prepared to do this as at the end of the day it's a court order for Mum to have contact with my sister - even though she doesn't want to. It's a very difficult situation. I have said I am not prepared to leave my home unattended whilst I go out and my sister visits Mum so have requested that she comes on a friday afternoon, a saturday or sunday when my fiancé can be here. I don't feel that to be unreasonable! However my sister says she doesn't want to come on those days as she visits her boyfriend then but surely if she really wanted to see Mum she would rearrange things a bit to fit in with us. She turned up on tuesday this week which is when she says she wants to come. This hadn't been arranged and I was in the shower, showering Mum yet she banged on the doors and windows to be let in but I did not let her as she knows this was not an arranged visit and both SS and myself had written to her to advise the days she could come. I now feel unsafe in my home and my Mum was very upset by all of this. I really don't know how this is all going to be resolved and it is a total nightmare. However, I'm feeling very sad today. Mum had never been formerly diagnosed with dementia although it had been apparent for a while something was wrong cognitively and the court ordered a psychiatrist to visit a while back and he said Mum had no capacity to make decisions about anything yet due to her being a good conversationalist, this masked the fact anything was wrong initially. Over the past few weeks things have somewhat changed and Mum doesn't seem so keen to get up although I usually manage to coax her and we often go out and she enjoys herself. Today I am having one of those days when she won't get up and I feel so sad about it. She seems to no longer have much idea about toileting and hygiene so I do everything for her that way and get her dressed too. She still eats reasonably well but seems to be sleeping a lot more in her chair and then not sleeping so well at night. I've also noticed a few times she has become confused whilst I am getting dinner ready when I leave her in the lounge and she wanders through and says she feels her head is woozy and she doesn't feel right. I guess this is sundowning? She doesn't know there is a problem and I have never told her, but she obviously is getting a bit concerned of how she is feeling sometimes. I have no idea of what type of dementia she has, but wonder at what stage she is in and if anyone has any ideas? She and I have good conversations but she doesn't remember anything of her past at all and just says she's pushed it all aside as it's all gone. I must admit to feeling sad and it seems strange for her to not even remember about when I was growing up so they are conversations we cannot have as she never remembers. She does remember places I take her to and occasionally lays the table for a meal or asks if she can help with anything so it's all very strange at what stage we are in this journey. She is very easy to look after and very placid and we sing together a lot and listen to music and have a good laugh about things and enjoy lots of trips out. I gave up my job, my friends and hobbies to care for her and that is just how I want it to be. I don't want outside help as I was a former carer and I am more than happy to do everything for her but I just get sad sometimes obviously seeing the decline. Guess I just wanted to unload today............. Last edited by tryingmybest; Today at 01:43 PM.