1. Livveywills

    Livveywills Registered User

    Jul 11, 2015
    57
    Standing in the kitchen at half 3 today I think, I could take mum into town to buy the handbag she wants to buy in the morning. Maybe even take her out for a cake. She should have calmed down from telling the family that I am a terrible troublemaker on Sunday after 2 days of daycare.

    The phone rings at 4.20pm. It is my mum ( mixed blessing that she can work the picture based age uk phone we got her). 'Hello!' I say 'Did you have a nice day?'

    No I didn't, I was only ringing becuase I thought you might want to know that I was back.

    Yes I say, it's about the right time - about to launch into handbag shopping invite when the tirad starts.

    They picked her up too early in the morning, they drove around plucking 18-20 people from their homes. They made them sit in chairs all day doing nothing waiting for the chiropodist (who isn't due for another 2 weeks) They couldn't get away with not feeding them though.

    And no she will not be eating any tea, and no she will not be letting the lady that takes her out once a week do it ever again, and I am a terrible person becasue I never bother to see her. I never have her for dinner (4 nights a week) I don't care, I don't bother and she knows I've been in her house playing with the bins today.

    After she hangs up on me I think I'd better pre warn the evening carer about the volatile atmosphere.

    Carer texts after her visit, mum was really chatty, has had a lovely day and ate all the tea the carer made.

    I could scream with frustration.

    I really do hate dementia. I feel more trapped by it that she is.
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    awwwwwwwwwwwww livvey i so feel for you xxxx
    I don't know if this is any consolation but after a while the bad stuff washes over you and the good stuff feels like someone has given you the birthday present you always wanted xxx

    You are doing a grand job and now you need to give yourself a treat and the handbag trip will be good xxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Livveywills

    Livveywills Registered User

    Jul 11, 2015
    57
    Thanks, we've gone from mum being obsessed with me needing to be around 24 hours a day to I am the punching bag no matter what. My poor husband is in favour and gets calls and little chats whenever she sees him to complain about me.

    I'm not sure who is getting the rougher deal at the moment.

    I look forward to when things start to wash over me!!!!
     
  4. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    619
    Scotland
    I feel your pain livveywills, I really do! Although my mums speech is pretty bad following her stroke many years ago coupled with dementia now , she can still get quite animated when things don't go her own way . However she's usually kind to me but really rude with my siblings and other people . Sometimes I forget and tell her off but then remember there is not much point as she has forgotten the minute she does it . It doesn't make it any easier or make you hurt less , it just reminds us of what a personality stripping disease this dementia is . I can't offer you any advice , but can let you know I was thinking of you and your mums situation and sending you some kind thoughts . Best wishes . Lou
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    My Ma was a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. First of all she used to go around the town telling people what a wicked daughter I was (including the bank manager) then as her world became more restricted she used to tell anyone who would listen - the morning carer and our sitting carer thought it was hilarious (at first it was really hurtful but once you really know in your heart it is the dementia it does lessen). The carers were able to make me see the funny side . to be honest. Literally anyone - the street sweeper, all my neighbours, sometimes when we took her shopping in the wheelchair she would enlighten people too so if you can keep it in the family you will be doing well looool
    take care and remember - it is the illness x I wouldn't wish it on anyone and just pray that it doesn't get me in the end x
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.