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they need a course communication and compassionHello Everyone.
Just letting you know that I'm feeling a bit better after the grief came back yesterday when I sent the Will off for probate. I emailed my brother to say how I was feeling after I had sent it and I was ignored.
I know the funny thing is thought I was starting to get over dad's death a bit more lately but little things bring it all back and as my friend, who was also a carer said, when the second parent dies you find that the grief returns for the first parent. Mum's birthday was last week and dad's will be in a few weeks time.The grief monster will jump out give you a slap for a while @MaNaAk . Im afraid its what happens.
I wouldnt bother trying to tell your brother about it - he seems very lacking in empathy about your situation.
Just tell us about it here - we understand
Thinking of you as well @CWR. I remember when dad first fell out of bed and ended up spending a night in hospital. Both brothers were told and the one that lived locally was away but didn't come round and see us when he got back.Thinking of you. This grief thing is multi-faceted. I'm getting near the time when mum fell out of bed the first time. I keep thinking back to how it was last year, before it all went awry.
Thankyou for that tip@ Jennifer 1967.i had a tip this morning when i was discussing clearing the junk in my house and was if something means a lot to you and its hard to part with it but it has to go photo it so you got it forever but can part with it too dont know if that helps
Dear @ Duggies-Girl,@MaNaAk I went down dads on Friday and my brother has ripped all the carpets up and plonked them in the hall. It was horrible even though I knew he was going to start clearing things. He has even put a bed in there that he appears to have slept on. I have said a last goodbye to the bungalow now and I won't go again as it holds too many memories and I want to keep dads place in my mind as it was when he was there. It looks like a tip now and I don't want to remember it like that as it is very upsetting. I had to go for a long drive after I left just to clear my mind,. It is my birthday soon and I will take some flowers to the church instead because both mum and dad are there now and it will be nicer.
It's funny how he can spend so much time there now when he could never spend more than ten minutes there when dad was still here. He was famous for his 'I can't stay more than a few minutes' because he was always going somewhere else. Even my mum called him 'the minute man'
I remember dads 88th birthday, when brother and SIL breezed in and gave dad his present but couldn't stay more than a few minutes because they had 'another birthday' to go to. I am sick of them, I really am.
There I have had a rant and maybe you should do the same. I am fed up with being polite and tactful just to keep the peace and it does you no good in the end and leaves you feeling bad.
Big hugs for you @MaNaAk and stay strong.