Feeling a bit stressed and worried

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by JamesR, Mar 14, 2006.

  1. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    I am feeling a bit stressed and alarmed by some news from my father regarding my mother. He left a message on my answering machine late this evening and has now gone to bed - as ever u think "why did I bother listening to that message as it is now stressing me out..."

    My mother who has advanced AD (but can feed and toilet/dress herself) has recently broken her hip after a fall at home. She has had a week in hospital and then was discharged to a care home for 8 weeks convalescence. 5 days into the care home period the home (which I believe is one that is registered/specialised for dealing with AD as that is why she went there as opposed to a nonAD place) has declared it can't look after her after some incidents to do with annoying other patients (many of which have AD) - My dad was not clear as to what these were in his message but he sounded terribly down. She has now been transferred (and my Dad told after the fact) to the local Mental Health unit for assessment for I believe 2-3 weeks.

    I suppose I feel annoyed that a home can make such a quick assessment on someone after only 5 days when it is meant to be able to look after such people.

    Some questions that I have are :

    What exactly happens during an assessment period in a mental health unit? My mother is primarily trying to recover from a physical accident which has obviously upset her confidence and nodoubt her mental state. will any assessment be valid if she then makes a greater physical and mental recovery?

    Is she likely to stay there for the full duration of convalescene or do they punt them out again after a few weeks?

    If a home has ejected someone is it unlikely she could go back?

    I am so worried about my Dad as he has upheaval after upheaval during the 12 days or so since she had the fall. Surely all this shifting her around is exacerbating any AD related issues?

    Any advice greatfully recevied.
     
  2. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya James,
    Sorry but I don't think I can offer any advice on this one, but just wanted to let you know that someone had read your post and was there with you so to speak.
    I know that I can not think straight at night, so my immediate reaction is "sleep on it".
    It does seem amazing that a home specifically designated to take AD patients has had to take this course of action. I agree, the changes cannot be helping your mum's mental state.
    Posting this you have done what you can for tonight. Others will start to answer your queries. You need to talk to your dad properey and find out some details, and then maybe you need to make some phone calls.
    The thing is tonight your mum is safe and tucked up in bed, your dad has gone to bed and hopefully is getting some sleep, they are OK. You need to try and get a decent night's sleep so that you can help sort things out tomorrow with your dad.
    Take care.
    Amy
     
  3. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    Thank you for your kind words...at least she won't be moved now for at least 2-3 weeks and is in a safe place as you say.
     
  4. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi james
    im not sure ive any answers for you either except my mother has just spent 3 months in a mental health unit being assessed! she's been diagnosed with a very agressive form of dementia and like your mum was moved from pillar to post due to "agressivness" and "disturbing the other patients" they moved her three times in all and we never knew where she'd be when we got there. like my mum they'll just watch her behaviour over the next few weeks and mess around with medication till they get it right, im so sorry for you and your dad i hope things will be clearer for you tommorrow its very distressing for everyone concerned, im not sure i could help but if youve any questions i could answer id be glad to help
    donna
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear James, so sorry to hear of your Mums fall and the distress you and your Dad now feel. Like Amy, I would say sleep on it. In the morning, speak to your Dad and then the hospital about what is happening and find out what the hospital now plans for your Mums rehab. The home does seem a little hasty, but they can do this if they are concerned. It may be that they are worried they cannot give enough attention to your Mum, bearing in mind she needs to be watched continuosly to avoid another fall. If you can, try to find out how she was annoying other patients and why the home was unable to cope. Once you have the bigger picture, it might not be as bad as it seems tonight. Please let us know how things are once you have spoken to your Dad and the hospital. We shall all be thinking of you and hoping for things to go well for you all. Love She. XX
     
  6. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    #6 May, Mar 15, 2006
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2006
    The thing is tonight your mum is safe and tucked up in bed, your dad has gone to bed and hopefully is getting some sleep, they are OK. You need to try and get a decent night's sleep so that you can help sort things out tomorrow with your dad


    James
    I have no experience of the situation you find yourselves in but as Amy has already said, the best thing is a good night's sleep. Sending best wishes and hoping all goes well.
    Thinking of you
     
  7. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    James

    We have to bear in mind that there are different levels of care homes.

    Some expect only 'easy' cases, and are geared for those. Some are able to take more challenging cases, medically and behaviour-wise.

    But they all work on the basis that their residents are stabilised in their condition - again, medically and/or behaviourally.

    Jan's home is a brilliant one, but even there, residents have been moved out when their behaviour became too much for the staff to handle. Moved either into an assessment ward to work out how to treat the condition prevailing, or to another home more able to cope [though I know of none].

    There was one really nice guy at Jan's home, but he would grab hold of things and pull, pull and pull again. He had every handrail off the wall at the home, a display cabinet full of ornaments went over, radiators came off the walls, living plants were overturned. Not in anger or in agitation, but simply because he grabbed hold and pulled.

    He was at one stage moved to another care home but was quickly shipped back because he absolutely trashed that one.

    After assessments his medication was changed and he remained at Jan's home until his immune system gave up suddenly and he had pneumonia.

    He was about 60-65 at the time, yet another younger person with dementia.

    We still talk about him at the home. Nice person.
    They will probably stabilise her medications, perhaps change them and/or dosages. Observe how that affects her over a period of a couple of weeks.
    As in my tale above, people do get taken back into homes that could not cope when they were causing problems. It will depend on the home and the assessment.
     
  8. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    Thanks for all the responses. Can't update you yet as my Dad was out when I called and I've been away from home for the day and eve...Will call him tomorrow to find out what's happened in the interim.
     
  9. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool

    James, depending on the circumstances, I have to say would you want her to go back to a place that had 'ejected' her?

    My mum was 'evicted' from her EMI care home and we fought that decision initially. However, eventually we decided, for various reasons that they were not worthy of her! Sounds very lofty but there was a lot more involved.

    I hope things work out one way or the other. I know how those sleepless nights feel!
     
  10. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Of course it is all in the words. If we feel that a loved one has been unjustifiably moved from a home we may say 'ejected', whereas the home might say 'we could not cope and feared for her safety and for that of other residents'.

    I don't know the facts here, but I would salute a home that did not simply try to muddle through when it was not 100% sure it could. If the person could be stabilised and the home would then take them back, I would not rule it totally out of court. There are simply not that many good homes about that I know of.

    But the judgment must be with the family as they know the cirumstances.
     
  11. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    #11 noelphobic, Mar 17, 2006
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2006
    This is a bit of a sore point today Brucie. I had complained to the CSCI about the treatment my mum received in the 'couldn't care less' home she used to be in. I had their final reply today and it was a complete whitewash so I am feeling rather bitter!

    The 'eviction' was only a small part of it. It wasn't so much the eviction as the way it was done. I may post more later but I am incandescent with fury at the moment and also feeling impotent as there doesn't seem to be anywhere to go with this complaint.
     
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    noelphobic

    You are the person who is on the ground and knows the situation.

    I have clearly been fortunate with Jan's care package, but also I often mess myself up totally making excuses for others who may not in fact deserve that. When I find they haven't, mind, I come down on them like a ton of bricks.

    Please keep us updated.
     
  13. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    Brucie, you didn't mess up at all. You made a salient point, sometimes a home really does have the good of one or more residents in mind when they have to 'evict' someone. It's just that in our case things were different. As I said, it's complicated and I will post the story when I can face it. Just wanted you to know that I wasn't criticising you.
     
  14. JamesR

    JamesR Registered User

    Dec 6, 2005
    15
    London
    Just to update a little.

    I have now spoken to my Brother and wife who visited and to my Dad and it seems in some ways that the effect on my mother of the whole fall and operation has been quite acute. She sounds like she has lost alot of confidence/will to do things (eg move or stand up) and it is not obvious she is making any real progress to walk again.

    I am going to try and phone tomorrow the Mental Health Unit where she is residing for assessment and try and speak to someone in authority to discuss her care.

    As a quick question do such places talk to relatives over the phone or do you need to turn up for a face to face appointment?

    I just want some answers to some questions eg what are they doing in terms of therapy/rehab to get her walking, what are they doing with her Alzheimers drugs etc...is she under sedation in the day time (my brother says she is very unanimated and unresponsive which is so unlike her) etc etc....

    I am going to visit at the weekend and either spend Friday or Monday hopefully meeting her consultant or senior nurses to understand what is going on.
     
  15. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear James, my Mums assessment centre often helped me with advice over the phone. Whether this is the same with your Mums I cant say. I did go in personally several times beforehand so had built up a good rapport with them. I do hope you can soon get some answers to your worries, it is awful not knowing what to do for her I am sure. Please let us know how things go. Love She. XX
     
  16. Trebor

    Trebor Registered User

    Mar 21, 2006
    7
    up North
    Try not to look upon her admission to a Mental Health Unit as a negative thing.
    Sometimes when people initially go into a care home it becomes apparent that the home is unable to meet the person's needs. For example the person may need to be in a Nursing rather than a Residential environment. Sometimes it takes people a while to settle in although an appropriate care home should be able to manage this period.
    What the in-patient stay SHOULD identify is a care regime that meets her needs, manages behaviour in a sensitive way and in some cases introduces an appropriate medication regime if necessary. The hope is that the regime is continued when the person moves on into care or back home.
    There should be no fixed time scale to her stay in the mental health unit. Only when things are settled should she move on. If her mental state improves then she may be able to return home but any decision should only be made after a review when everyone involved is present and able to have input.
    The unit should also have access to a Physiotherapist if needed. If you feel she is not getting this input ask why!
    Don't be shy of asking questions. Find out who her named nurse or care co-ordinator is.
    As I said don't look upon an in-patient stay as a negative. This will be the best chance she gets of having a full assessment.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.