1. Welcome to Talking Point - an online community for everyone who is affected by dementia. Whether you have dementia or know someone who does, we will be there for you.

    Sign up to join the community, or Log in if you're already a member.

    If you need help using Talking Point, read our Help pages or contact us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk

  2. Hi everyone, Talking Point is back! We’ve updated the software in order to improve security, design, and the way the community works, and introduced some helpful features.

    Find out more

Feeling a bit down...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by cuppatea, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    307
    South Wales
    Cos tomorrow is my birthday... and husband has no idea. It's so sad. We've had Valentine's Day already this week and not so long ago, Christmas, and a week before that our 40th wedding anniversary. This is the first time round all these anniversaries on my own for me; I know for many of you you have been through this many many times... Just hitting me hard tonight, I know I should be grateful to have a roof over my head and food to eat, heating, etc.... Just needed to express this, not expecting a magic solution....
     
  2. irismary

    irismary Registered User

    Feb 7, 2015
    499
    West Midlands
    So sorry cuppatea - its hard isn't it. We always did cards but not now as my husband doesn't remember either. Sending you my best wishes for tomorrow and a big hug. Treat yourself if you can.
     
  3. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    1,954
    south-east London
    It is hard and I do understand.

    On my birthday I treated myself to something that my husband would ordinarily have bought me (shoes) the same at Christmas (coat). For our anniversary just before Christmas he was with me when I fell in love with a cute little ornament in a charity shop. He bought it for me, though he had no idea it was our anniversary and had forgotten he'd bought it a short while later.

    The items were still there though, and his face lights up when he asks me where they came from and I tell him they were a lovely gift from him for birthday, anniversary, Christmas etc.

    Thinking of you for your birthday - if you can, treat yourself to something nice on behalf of your husband xx
     
  4. DixonC

    DixonC Registered User

    Aug 3, 2016
    23
    Yeh these occasions are so hard aren't they, just try and have as good a day as you can, could you meet up with anyone else at least for a cuppa and a chat, or perhaps just a trip out somewhere. Maybe you could treat yourself.

    Thinking of you and sending you birthday wishes xx
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    4,361
    South coast
    Yes it is very hard.
    On my last birthday I got him to come with me to a local cafe where we had tea and cake to celebrate. Afterwards he thanked me for treating him. He had no idea it was my birthday, but it was a nice day.
     
  6. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    307
    South Wales
    Thanks all. Yes think I will take him out at lunch and thank him as if he arranged it.
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    4,361
    South coast
    Sounds lovely
    Do have a happy birthday :)
    xx
     
  8. Flower girl

    Flower girl Registered User

    Jan 27, 2017
    36
    Bedfordshire
    Happy Birthday, enjoy your trip out and I think it's a grand idea as it will give pleasure to your husband as well. We all know how hard it is on these special days but how nice to be able to give each other all this support. Special hugs for your birthday.
     
  9. JaquelineM

    JaquelineM Registered User

    Jan 8, 2017
    47
    north london
    I hope you have as good a birthday as possible and that your birthday lunch goes well , this is a tough one , I know xxx
     
  10. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    307
    South Wales
    Thanks all. He isn't up yet so I have written a note to 'remind' him of his suggestion...
     
  11. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,086
    Devon
    Happy birthday cuppatea. Hope there are some good times in the day for you both.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  12. Angie1996

    Angie1996 Registered User

    May 15, 2016
    515
    Somerset
    Happy birthday Cuppatea hope you have a lovely day :)
     
  13. LadyA

    LadyA Volunteer Host

    Oct 19, 2009
    11,519
    Ireland
    Happy Birthday, cuppatea. And look on it this way - you would have been celebrating your birthday, probably by going out to lunch together, which you can still do, and your husband will probably be delighted! Happy days! :) My late husband used to be so worried that he'd miss my birthday (although he wasn't sure who I was!) that he'd ask me at regular intervals, if there was anything good going on - like when we went out to lunch, which we did very regularly because I couldn't get anything cooked with him - "Is it your birthday?". Or if I paused to look in a shop window - "Is it your birthday?" :)
    Meanwhile - have some cake! [​IMG]
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    64,209
    Kent
    Happy Birthday cuppatea
     

    Attached Files:

  15. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    307
    South Wales
    Ooh you lovely people thank you so much. X
     
  16. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Happy Birthday! (((hugs)))
     
  17. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    4,361
    South coast
    Hope you had a nice lunch for your birthday.

    Im sending you virtual wine and choccies.
    They dont taste quite as good as the real thing, but at least they are low calorie ;)
     
  18. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    307
    South Wales
    Well as you all said we had a lovely lunch. He looked a bit surprised when I said we were going out to where he suggested!! But it was still lovely. Thanks all x
     

Share This Page