Feel so helpless

[SJC1968]

Hi, Both my mum and dad are in care homes. Mum has been in a residential care home since last August with safeguarding concerns. She has mixed dementia. Dad went into a nursing home in December 2020 after going into hospital with a UTI and delerium. He had a fall in hospital and broke his hip. He then contracted Covid in hospital too. The decision was made to discharge him into a care home as his needs were too great to manage at home. I havent seen my mum since beginning of December and my dad beginning of November. It has been so hard not seeing them. I am now suffering depression and anxiety and no motivation. I spoke to the doctor but all they suggested was talking therapy. All I want to do is see my mum and give her a cuddle. I feel so lost and helpless.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello and welcome to the forum @SJC1968

That's a tough set of circumstances and all I can say is that you are now a member of a group of people who will understand so feel free to express thoughts or ask questions.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @SJC1968

That sounds like a very difficult few months. It’s been really hard not being able to visit but vaccinations are moving along and hopefully our world will become a little more normal before too long. Have you been able to speak to your mum or dad, or been able to try a video call? I have been sending cards and small gifts to my mum, who has been ill with Covid and is now extremely frail. She can’t really manage calls but she apparently enjoys getting the cards - and the chocolate.

Lots of people out here to help you along so keep posting and checking in.

 

[SJC1968]

Hi I have spoken to my mum on the phone a few times. My dad cant use the phone as he has delirium and just laughs.
I know this won't last forever but it has been a real struggle. Knowing other people feel the same really does help

 

[SJC1968]

Just seen the news and apparently one nominated person can visit the care homes from 8th March. I am happy with that ?

 

[Kellyr]

Hi, Both my mum and dad are in care homes. Mum has been in a residential care home since last August with safeguarding concerns. She has mixed dementia. Dad went into a nursing home in December 2020 after going into hospital with a UTI and delerium. He had a fall in hospital and broke his hip. He then contracted Covid in hospital too. The decision was made to discharge him into a care home as his needs were too great to manage at home. I havent seen my mum since beginning of December and my dad beginning of November. It has been so hard not seeing them. I am now suffering depression and anxiety and no motivation. I spoke to the doctor but all they suggested was talking therapy. All I want to do is see my mum and give her a cuddle. I feel so lost and helpless.

Hi SJC1968 there are so many of us in the same situation...my Mum has been in a carehome with dementia throughout the whole of last year and its been the most stressful thing ever. (I too recently contacted GP for same reasons but theres not much they can do unless you want anti depressants, which I know some pple have resorted to because they feel so desperate). I always direct people to Rights for Residents who have a Facebook page. Theyve been working round the clock for months to try and bring about a change in this babaric situation. Theyve had alot of success in getting the story out in the media - its not just old pple being deprived of family contact but children in care as well. It really is horrible. Theyre trying to get legislation passed to give relatives the right to go back in and care for our loved ones. We're keeping our fingers crossed this might finally happen quite soon. If you go on their page you will be sble to keep up with whats going on...?