Feel overwhelmed exhausted and isolated and tearful all the time

[wonderfulmum]

Not feeling well at all and finding it so difficult to be there for mum too and trying to find energy to get up to do all the caring duties.
Mum doesn't seem to be able to do empathy or consider others or their feelings and situations anymore, I guess it's difficult for her to concentrate on others when she's trying to keep her own things in order off some sort.
Days I wish for life to be just normal, just to watch a programme all the way thru for an hour, a bit of silence and peace to feel free.

I can no longer just pick up the phone and just have a chat and laugh with friends, as we don't have things in common now. It's lonely being a carer.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Not feeling well at all and finding it so difficult to be there for mum too and trying to find energy to get up to do all the caring duties.
Mum doesn't seem to be able to do empathy or consider others or their feelings and situations anymore, I guess it's difficult for her to concentrate on others when she's trying to keep her own things in order off some sort.
Days I wish for life to be just normal, just to watch a programme all the way thru for an hour, a bit of silence and peace to feel free.

I can no longer just pick up the phone and just have a chat and laugh with friends, as we don't have things in common now. It's lonely being a carer.

You aren’t alone in theses feelings or situation. You willl find support & help here on the forum. Take care lovely.
(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

 

[Whisperer]

It is lonely at times but I always try to remember the old adage “you can be lonely in a packed room”. When talking to friends try and stay off the topic of your mum. They may feel it hard knowing what to say in the circumstances. Make it clear you would appreciate a day to day chat be it about music, television, recent news items, family news from their end. Ensure they understand you would just value a relaxed chat on the phone. Guide them in what would give you a lift. Friends will respond if you help them out with what you are seeking in any conversation.

Are you perhaps run down physically or emotionally. Please do not under estimate the value of what you are doing for your mum, nor the demands that makes on you. Are you eating okay, not taking short cuts on that. Can you get out for a brief time for some fresh air and just “people watch”. You may feel you are not part of that world anymore but doing so can help you stay connected. The dog walker, mum struggling with an argumentative child, etc. Take note what the weather is doing, any birds singing or sat on the roofs. My grandad said they were old “dockers mates” been reborn. Just thinking that makes me wonder if he is now amongst them. I know it is hard but try to laugh at such things.

Never belittle in your own thoughts what you are doing. If you stepped away there would be “trouble at the mill”. Best wishes for the future. You can always rant on here if it helps.

 

[Palerider]

Thats such good advice @Whisperer , I'll take a leaf or two

 

[wonderfulmum]

You aren’t alone in theses feelings or situation. You willl find support & help here on the forum. Take care lovely.
(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

Thank you I really appreciate your kind words, Dementia is robbing me of my mum and I feel I'm disappearing fast. Thank you for your reply

 

[wonderfulmum]

It is lonely at times but I always try to remember the old adage “you can be lonely in a packed room”. When talking to friends try and stay off the topic of your mum. They may feel it hard knowing what to say in the circumstances. Make it clear you would appreciate a day to day chat be it about music, television, recent news items, family news from their end. Ensure they understand you would just value a relaxed chat on the phone. Guide them in what would give you a lift. Friends will respond if you help them out with what you are seeking in any conversation.

Are you perhaps run down physically or emotionally. Please do not under estimate the value of what you are doing for your mum, nor the demands that makes on you. Are you eating okay, not taking short cuts on that. Can you get out for a brief time for some fresh air and just “people watch”. You may feel you are not part of that world anymore but doing so can help you stay connected. The dog walker, mum struggling with an argumentative child, etc. Take note what the weather is doing, any birds singing or sat on the roofs. My grandad said they were old “dockers mates” been reborn. Just thinking that makes me wonder if he is now amongst them. I know it is hard but try to laugh at such things.

Never belittle in your own thoughts what you are doing. If you stepped away there would be “trouble at the mill”. Best wishes for the future. You can always rant on here if it helps.

Thank you, I will try and use this, I'm in fear of scaring friends away, I used to always be laughing and being there for everyone but I just come back to earth with a bump when I realise my reality is no longer like theirs and then they stop sharing because my face must reflect this. I need to pull myself together I hate these vunerable days when I feel broken

 

[nae sporran]

Sorry to read of your troubles @wonderfulmum. You can always let off steam here as others have kindly written. I hope you won't loss touch with your friends though, I was getting like that 3 years ago and now feel better for just walking once a week with friends and chatting about everything and nothing. If you think counselling or CBT might help I would recommend looking into both of those to stop you going down under the burdens of caring.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Thank you I really appreciate your kind words, Dementia is robbing me of my mum and I feel I'm disappearing fast. Thank you for your reply

Easily done to be swallowed by dementias demands on all.
Xx

 

[wonderfulmum]

Easily done to be swallowed by dementias demands on all.
Xx

Thank you just reading these messages makes me feel I'm not so alone Thanks for listening

 

[myss]

((@wonderfulmum )) I know what you mean in regards to friends but I don't leave out what's happening with my dad. They do ask and I'll tell them but I also steer conversations as to what they're up to and so on so that they know I'm not just consumed with his care (even though I feel I am). You are so not your own!