I'm not really writing this for answers, I just need to get it off my chest I feel like I've already lost my mum, and she hasn't even been diagnosed yet. Because we live such a long way from each other, we chat once a week and catch up on each other's news and gossip. She always asks about my kids and husband, and tells me all about the little shopping trips she's been on, or the theatre trips she's been on, or meals she's had with family and friends. Usually she phones me, and it's become a bit of a joke in our family that I have to get ready for "nan-nan's phone time". The last time we had that was about 2 months ago, since then she hasn't phoned me, but, of course, I've phoned her and pretended that I was phoning on the wrong day cos I had some news to share or something similar, because I didn't want her to feel bad about having forgotten to phone me. She phoned me on Sunday, it was my birthday, and I was so pleased that she'd remembered...I have a feeling that she must have put notes all over the house to remind herself to call me. I can't say that we chatted, because she handed the phone to my dad after a couple of minutes. She didn't ask me about the children or anything, she's not able to hold a conversation any more. I just feel like I've lost her. Even though she's still physically there, the person that I've known all these years is no longer there. I feel awful writing that, but it's true, and I know that I'm already grieving for the person that she was. Thanks for letting me have the space to write this.