My mom has had demensia for 8 years now. She is currently in the hospital and my heart is breaking in so many places and there is no one to say I'm sorry to because she does not understand. Holding a full time job and then attending to her every minute of my free time, left me aggravated and drained. She would follow me everywhere, never give me any space and demand my presence at her beckoning call. I have told her I hate her, told her I was going to have her moved out, sworn at her...you name it. I realize now, that I was angry at this "thing" that engulfed my mother and I wanted her back. Now that she is dying, my guilt is overwhelming and I would give anything for her to follow me around again. I can never forgive myself for the awful things I've said over the years, but at the same time thank God, she doesn't remember. I love my Mom dearly. What a cruel and horrible disease. Worst part? No one in the free world offers any help, and trust me.....I've called them all