Hi there carers, I believe that feeding my wife, against all advice given not to force feed, was the best thing I did. I never did like being told what to do, or not to do ever since my release from Industrial School at 16, where all orders to march, to stop, to sit, to talk etc to the command of a whistle were the order of the day. Three years ago when my wife required Fentanyl patches to ease her pain 25mg 24/7/03 her GP told me not to force feed her. Our daughter also belived it to be correct. It was to much for me to see her waste to 5 stone, so I kept feeding her using a small desert spoon by keeping raising her upper lip. It took anything up to one and 1/2 hrs per meal. I note the entries in the diary of the time "Paddy applied the patches, Paddy washed and changed Jean" On the 15/9/03 "Mr. R*** decided to stop Fentanyl patches as he feels Jean is not in pain." It took me months to settle on a daily diet which helped her recover weight and be rid of all bed sores. Now only one scar on her heel remains as a reminder. She also suffered with oral thrush due to lack of brushing and dental care while in the nursing home. To-day I have a regular routine with her meals which take about 1/2 hr each and tooth brushing. There are also regular dental checks. One downside is she is heavier than her normal weight at about 8 and 1/2 stone, I have to lift her! Reading her medical diary one can see the poor state she was in when I got her home. I thank God I went with my instincs when feeding her and telling them to remove a blocked catheter. I'm still learing and as the the nurse who came to give her yearly flu jab said, "You keep pushing the boundries." Should I ever get AD I will fight tooth and nail to avoid being 'put away'. Keep up the good fight. PS Why are Social Services not made to look and learn from TP? God bless Padraig.