1. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Hi all

    It is now 9.35 and mum is not at home. This has happened before (police called, etc etc). She thinks it's not a problem says, don't worry; cannot grasp that I am miles away stressing out about where she might be.

    She isn't at the wandering stage (I say that now, although it could have started tonight!:) ) but her sense of time and reasoning is completely shot. I am just sitting here watching the clock wondering when I should call the police. The last time, she arrived home at 11.30pm having been 'shopping' and 'waiting for buses'.

    Aggghhh!

    What is a shame is that it's not just me that's watching and waiting, but the 'professionals' are too; but mum doesn't get it - how could she? I hate this disease. It makes me weep. :eek:

    I am also heartily SICK of it ruling MY life.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,655
    Kent
    Dear Lucille.

    I would call the police now. It isn`t safe for a person with Alzheimers to be wandering round at this time of night, it`s dark and it`s cold.

    At least then you`ll know someone is looking for her, which you are unable to do.

    Please let us know when she gets home.

    Love xx
     
  3. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Dear Lucille

    I agree with Sylvia, please call the Police, they will understand. You must be frantic.

    Please let us know when mum turns up.

    Thinking of you.

    Love

    Cate
     
  4. jude1950

    jude1950 Registered User

    Mar 23, 2006
    182
    Lincolnshire
    Hi Lucille.
    I hope your mum turned up ok the trouble is the lack of awareness of time
    just to say I sympathise with you
    love
    Judith
     
  5. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Dear Sylvia, Cate and Jude

    Thanks very much for your thoughts. Mum arrived home just before midnight... She had been 'shopping'. I had notified police and SW.

    Goodnight and let's hope tomorrow is a stress-free day!

    xx
    PS: Think this will now warrant a more comprehensive review of mum's situation!
    PPS: And my grey hair!!
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,655
    Kent
    Dear Lucille,
    Your mother sounds like my mother was, she ws always `shopping` and often late at night too.
    It really does sound as if your mother`s situation is ready for reviewing, as one day she may `go shopping` and forget where she lives. She is very vulnerable.
    I hope you get something sorted for her.
    Love xx
     
  7. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Dear Lucille

    I am so pleased that mum turned up safe and well, what a dreadful time you must have had with your imagination running wild thinking all sorts.

    It really does sound as if your mother`s situation is ready for reviewing, as one day she may `go shopping` and forget where she lives. She is very vulnerable.

    Sylvia is right, and sadly she is also vulnerable to all sorts of unsavory characters being out late at night on her own. You may have some tough decisions to make soon. We are all here for you.

    Love

    Cate
     
  8. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Thanks, Cate.

    You are right, I think we are drawing near to the time when I have to think of mum's longer term future and do it soon! I am awaiting a call back from the CPN. They already have in mind a meeting with me (without mum) SW, Carer etc so I think they have seen it coming ... well that is their job! :)

    So, here I am thinking about care homes and have just been on the csci site. I will look at the AS factsheets and get my head around what's involved. Forewarned is forearmed!

    I felt exhausted today at work. When I called mum today and said I felt tired, she asked why and when I mentioned last night, she said 'why what happened last night? Oh that? Well, it's nice to know people care.' Would you credit it, eh?! :confused:

    No doubt I will be visiting a bit more often now as her deterioration is more evident and is accelerating.:mad:

    Thanks

    x
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,655
    Kent
    I do know how you feel Lucille.
    When I`ve been worn out by some conflict with my husband, he`s fine a couple of hours later, having forgotten all about it, whilst I`m suffering the after effects. And when it`s all conducted by phone, as with you and your mother, it`s even worse.
    Love xx
     
  10. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Lucille, sorry only just caught up with this ....... you cannot possibly go on living so far away and having this type of stress to deal with (sorry, but I have just been talking to 'Crossroads' today so am in full 'caring for the carer' mode! :rolleyes: )

    What a huge relief it was to say to someone 'I simply can't carry on like this anymore' .... and for them to understand that wasn't simply a 'defeatist' statement ........ for them to ask about the impact on ME and MINE (not to mention my work) .... not just mum and her safety etc .....

    Yes, we put their needs and wishes as paramount most of the time ...... BUT ...
    their safety and our sanity go hand in hand ........ I realise your mum and you are at different stages and in different circumstances than 'me and mine' but you know my heart goes out to you ..... I always promised myself this was the point - no more pandering to mum's wishes!!!!!! How I will face it when it comes, who knows......

    I know you have a good support team there ...... and you know you have lots more too here .....

    Much love, Karen, x

    PS: It's not grey - they are platinum streaks!!!!!! ;)
     
  11. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Lucille,I am so glad your mum was safe.It's a horrible feeling to not know,I know.Dad once decided at ten at night that he was coming to my house.Alright he knew the way,but what could have happened along the way is distressing.He went AWOL a couple of weeks ago whilst shopping with mum.She was mortified.Now he doesn,t want to go out without anyone with him.That i am grateful for,but also want him to lead a normal a life as possible.He must have realised the danger.I hope your mum does soon.You are not on the doorstep and that,s the worry for you.Take care and all the best elainex
     

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