1. davidsitges

    davidsitges Registered User

    Apr 26, 2018
    11
    For at least a couple of months now my OH has been sleeping every night in a chair (usually fully dressed), refusing to come to bed and lie down. The nearest is getting him to sit on the end of the bed - but he falls asleep in the sitting position. Then, of course, he complains about a bad back. Recently he had to go for a brain scan and got as far as sitting on the scanner bench but refused to lay back and so they couldn't do the scan.
    Also about 2 months ago was when he had a fall and knocked himself unconscious.
    Does this add up to a fear of lying down? I haven't heard of it from anyone else but can't explain why he won't sleep in a bed. And if it is a fear, how to overcome it?
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,184
    Nottinghamshire
    #2 Bunpoots, Oct 15, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2019
    Hi.

    I've not heard of this before. My dad would sometimes sleep in his chair but if I could get him to move he'd go to bed. Would an occupational therapist be able to help? Perhaps one of those beds which has a back that tilts up would make him feel safer as he'd never be "falling" into nothing - he'd be supported all the way to lying down. Perhaps an OT would have a device which could achieve this with an ordinary bed.

    I'm thinking of something like this:
    https://www.completecareshop.co.uk/beds-and-bedding/bed-supports-and-hoists/adjustable-back-rest
     
  3. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,774
    Female
    I was thinking along the same lines as Bunpoots, I'd ask for an OT referral. Maybe a reclining chair would help so he could at least sleep comfortably even if not in bed.
     
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,700
    Dads afraid of falling, as he hasn’t the muscular strength to control his movements
     
  5. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,021
    Male
    Bristol
    The physio ordered a bed raiser for C, which only raises the mattress under the pillow, but as she has trouble with her back which makes her reluctant to get into bed it does just make it that bit easier. A bed leaver also helps.
    I've never heard of a fear of lying down though @davidsitges, sorry.
     
  6. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    492
    When Mum lived in her own assisted living apartment, she often said she was frightened of going to bed and would sleep fully clothed in the chair. With Mum I think it was her every present fear of dying - that if she lay down she would never get up again. In some way she reasoned that she could control things by sleeping upright.
    It is obvious that there is a fear of something - hope you discover what it is and find a remedy.
     
  7. Mojosho

    Mojosho Registered User

    Sep 13, 2019
    31
    My husband gets up every night and goes to his chair. He seems afraid of sleeping in his bed. He also refuses to get under the duvet and lies on top with all his clothes on. I think it's to do with himmhaving a lot of heart failure episodes at night in bed so now he has Dementia he is scared. I haven't found an answer to it I'm afraid. I just make sure he's warm and safe.
     
  8. davidsitges

    davidsitges Registered User

    Apr 26, 2018
    11
    Many thanks for the quick replies! This forum is so helpful.
    It is interesting to hear of several similar situations which, if not the same as mine, are similar. It still doesn't solve what the fear is but it is reassuring.
    Very helpful suggestion (and link) from @Bunpoots - will follow up with OT.
     
  9. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    396
    Female
    Clinophobia = Fear of beds or going to bed
    Somniphobia = Abnormal / irrational fear of sleep.

    Good advice from others before; my dad was very comfortable in his recliner chair, especially as he could control the movement.
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,700
    how many points is that in scrabble?

    joking aside - impressive knowledge @Dimpsy

    remote controls & men are a happy combination!
     
  11. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    396
    Female
    Hi @DesperateofDevon
    Impressive knowledge .................................. Or Google?
    Hmmmmmmm!
    XX
     
  12. annielou

    annielou Registered User

    Sep 27, 2019
    146
    When he fell and was unconscious was he laid flat when he came to? He may be remembering that scarey feeling of coming round or slipping in and out of consciousness while lying down, or perhaps if he went in an ambulance on a stretcher and felt motion sickness while travelling laying down or felt scared about what was happening he may remember that feeling and may not be able to seperate the situation after falling from the laying down part of the memory.
    A neighbour of ours once passed out and was taken in an ambulance laid on a stretcher and said it was a really horrible sensation. A few years later she needed an ambulance for another reason and even though she was fully conscious that time she insisted she wud only go on seat rather than a flat stretcher.
    It could be something similar with your husband, though I don't know how you'd get round it if it is.
    Maybe you could try one of those foam wedge cushions for the bed so he can lie in bed in a semi upright position rather than flat.
     
  13. annielou

    annielou Registered User

    Sep 27, 2019
    146
    If you put Wedge pillows in amazon search there seems to be a few different angles available
     
  14. Kay111

    Kay111 Registered User

    Sep 19, 2019
    95
    Hi @davidsitges - my dad is similar in that he hates lying down fully, or at least it used to take a while for us to convince him to lie down for bed. What we found worked was mum to lie down first and pretend to be readying for sleep, and while she was already lying down to say hey, it's time to lean back and sleep etc and gently encourage him that way.

    I think for dad, a big part of it was not wanting to be lying down when everyone else was still upright and fussing about! Not sure if that helps at all. Good luck!
     
  15. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    396
    Female
    I was just catching up with the posts and remembered my father in law (who passed away in the early 90's.
    He was a large man who had heart problems and smoked and during his final years he slept downstairs in his armchair.
    When he lay down he had difficulty breathing as his chest filled up.
    I just thought I'd mention another reason why your OH would be more comfortable sleeping upright, but it's a very obvious reason and probably doesn't apply to your OH.
     

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