1. rabkje

    rabkje Registered User

    Dec 25, 2015
    1
    Hi everyone!

    I just wanted to get some advice about my father and whether the symptoms he is exhibiting could be dementia/alzheimers.

    Some background: my grandad (his dad) developed it in his 60s, got very bad in his 70s and has since passed away. We lost my mum 2 yrs ago and at first i thought dads symptoms were from depression/grief, however they have worsened over the last year. Dad is 59 and he lives with me most of the time.

    Firstly, he has increasing trouble making decisions and sticking to those decisions. He cannot decide anything, from what he wants for dinner to what car he wants to buy. He is also impulsive, telling me he is going to look at cars then coming home with a new one - only to decide he doesnt like it and trades it in a month or 2. His decisions are becoming poor, being sucked into scams etc which he never used to. He is now sending money to people (women i think) overseas. He is understanding his finances and tax less and less and outs off paperwork.

    He seems to not be comprehending information correctly when we watch movies. He will ask me constant questions about the movie which can be answered by watching it. He will also ask something about what just happened in the movie, but he has interpreted what has happened very wrong (although it is a simple concept that everyone else in the room gets). For example, in a movie he will not understand what relationship 2 characters may have between each other.

    He is beginning to make inappropriate comments to people when out in public, particularly to women. This is very out of character for him. At first I thought he was just flirting, but now it seems he is unable to determine what is appropriate to say to someone in public to a stranger. He also does not recognize what he does wrong when i explain it to him, and becomes defensive. He says racist and sexist things, which he has never done before.

    He is getting hopeless with directions and gets lost easily, particularly when driving. He cannot follow simple direction either (for example, i say turn left and he turns right, or i say 'turn left at the traffic lights', and he runs a red light. I also can tell him something like 'leave the garage door open' and he will look at me and say 'ok' and immediately go close it.

    He had a fall recently in which he broke his arm but he cannot remember how it happened or what he was doing. He didn't have a concussion, but he may not remember due to the fall I'm not sure.

    I often explain something to him 5 times, such as what we are doing for christmas, and confirm with him that he has understood. Then when the day comes (less than a week later, with reminders throughout the week) he will be confused and acts like he had no idea of our plans.

    He is spending more and more time on his mobile phone and less time in the real world and does not recognise that using his phone in certain situations is rude and inappropriate (for example in the middle of a conversation with someone). He cannot concentrate on the phone and what is happening at the same time. He will literally spend all day on the phone playing games like bejewelled. He is becoming withdrawn, and at Christmas spent most of his time on the phone or in his room rather than with the family. He seems to be losing social skills.

    He often sleeps in and some days wont have shower or get dressed properly until as late as 3pm. He finds it hard to work the dryer settings. He does not cook anymore, and seems afraid to. He is constantly misplacing or losing things or forgetting to take something when he goes somewhere. He is sleeping a lot more.

    What do you guys think?
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,499
    Female
    London
    I think that you should get him checked out by a doctor. It could be dementia, it could be something else but you won't know for sure until someone runs some tests.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I think he needs an urgent appointment with the GP before he gets into some fairly serious scrapes. I would get him to make an appointment under any pretext and before he goes make sure his GP has a copy of the information you have posted on here so that he knows the background and will hopefully make a referral onwards.

    Do you have Power of Attorney?
     
  4. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    Hi Rabkje

    I think all the things you are describing above could fit in with dementia. If your Dad won't agree to see the GP (useless at decision making) make the appointment for him and tell him you are taking him. The GP should be able to do some initial assessments and refer him on to memory clinic if appropriate. Do you know your Dad's GP? I think it would be a good idea if you could speak to GP first to explain your concerns and all the background openly. Maybe book a phone consultation with GP before taking dad along.
     
  5. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,930
    London
    Good evening Rabkje, a warm welcome to Talking Point, it could be a number of health problems non dementia related making your dad not be himself, especially as he has had a bad fall, so he needs quite a lot of tests done to rule out possible dementia, drop a letter into dads GP expressing your concerns, and asking if the doctor could call dad in for a "well man" check or as a follow up appointment regarding his fall, do ask the doctor to keep this information you have supplied as strictly confidential as it may cause more problems if dad knows you have "gone behind his back", please stress that this is urgent(am thinking about him running a red light) as dad may now be a danger to himself or others.
    Please do keep posting and let us know how things are,take care
    Chris
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    This all sounds very familiar and I am especially struck by the way that his dad had dementia at about the same age.
    Definitely get him to see his GP. I would also recommend that you send a letter to his GP outlining your concerns so that it is on his file before he goes.
     
  7. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,602
    Female
    Scotland
    Agreed with all of the above. Now is the time to also think what your position will be should he have dementia or another serious problem. Think of Power of Attorney for finance and health as you may need to take steps to stop the scams and also to decide his future treatment. Try to get all these things under way as soon as possible.
     

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