Hi all,
this is my first post, i am a little anxious about doing it (i don't like talking about my Dad behind his back) but i am at a point where i don't know what to do next! So here is the story:
3 years ago, i started noticing a change in my Dad (he had just turned 67), he was repeating himself, asking the same questions over and over again and starting to get confused using things he had used a hundred times before (sat nav for example!). I talked to him a few times and asked him if he would consider a memory test he said yes but never booked anything or sought advice from a Doctor.
Over the past three years, this has just got worse, he now gets confused with money (thinks 20p is £20, things £1000 is £10,000), had forgotten/lost all his passwords for online accounts, gets lost when driving, repeats himself a lot and asks the same questions, answers the house phone when his mobile is ringing and lost the ability to use his computer without getting confused (before he retired he was a technical architect i.e. built software using extremely complex code!). We have a a great supportive family, however it is just me and him in our immediate family (my mother died in 1999) and i have no siblings. I spoke to my Dad's sisters about it and for a long time they tried to convince me that he was just getting older and they get confused sometimes but as the closest person to him, i was the only one seeing how significant the changes were in him. He also lies to cover up that fact that he is getting confused and this creates more confusion when i am trying to explain things to him.
Last year, i was still pushing for a memory test and convinced our family doctor to send him an appointment for a memory clinic at our local GP and my Dad agreed to attend - however when we got to the appointment it became very clear that this was not an assessment memory clinic but a session with an Alzheimer's Society representative to help people who have been diagnosed. It was an awful meeting where they went through all the possible symptoms and what would happen next - my Dad looked terrified and he was so mad with me for arranging the appointment with our family doctor behind his back. However, i managed to convince him to carry on with the memory assessment and we made the arrangements with the receptionist.
I heard nothing and continued to chase the doctors surgery who eventually told me there was a note on the account but they couldn't tell me as i wasn't the patient. I called my Dad and that is when it all blew up, he told me he wasn't interested in having the assessment, he got angry with me for crying and told me to leave him to rot and to stop worrying about him - i was sobbing on the phone begging him to see it from my perspective and that what i wanted was for the assessment to rule out Dementia etc and hopefully its an infection or dehydration etc but he wouldn't have any of it and he told me not to talk about it again and to leave him alone.
So i did, I haven't asked him to go to the doctors again and i worry sick every day thjat is memory will worsen and he will injure himself or get lost or get confused with money with the wrong person and get taken advantage of. Since all this, my Aunts have both seen the issues i am dealing with and are willing to try and help me convince him to seek medical advice but he is being so stubborn.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Has anyone been in the same scenario?
Sorry for the long post!!
this is my first post, i am a little anxious about doing it (i don't like talking about my Dad behind his back) but i am at a point where i don't know what to do next! So here is the story:
3 years ago, i started noticing a change in my Dad (he had just turned 67), he was repeating himself, asking the same questions over and over again and starting to get confused using things he had used a hundred times before (sat nav for example!). I talked to him a few times and asked him if he would consider a memory test he said yes but never booked anything or sought advice from a Doctor.
Over the past three years, this has just got worse, he now gets confused with money (thinks 20p is £20, things £1000 is £10,000), had forgotten/lost all his passwords for online accounts, gets lost when driving, repeats himself a lot and asks the same questions, answers the house phone when his mobile is ringing and lost the ability to use his computer without getting confused (before he retired he was a technical architect i.e. built software using extremely complex code!). We have a a great supportive family, however it is just me and him in our immediate family (my mother died in 1999) and i have no siblings. I spoke to my Dad's sisters about it and for a long time they tried to convince me that he was just getting older and they get confused sometimes but as the closest person to him, i was the only one seeing how significant the changes were in him. He also lies to cover up that fact that he is getting confused and this creates more confusion when i am trying to explain things to him.
Last year, i was still pushing for a memory test and convinced our family doctor to send him an appointment for a memory clinic at our local GP and my Dad agreed to attend - however when we got to the appointment it became very clear that this was not an assessment memory clinic but a session with an Alzheimer's Society representative to help people who have been diagnosed. It was an awful meeting where they went through all the possible symptoms and what would happen next - my Dad looked terrified and he was so mad with me for arranging the appointment with our family doctor behind his back. However, i managed to convince him to carry on with the memory assessment and we made the arrangements with the receptionist.
I heard nothing and continued to chase the doctors surgery who eventually told me there was a note on the account but they couldn't tell me as i wasn't the patient. I called my Dad and that is when it all blew up, he told me he wasn't interested in having the assessment, he got angry with me for crying and told me to leave him to rot and to stop worrying about him - i was sobbing on the phone begging him to see it from my perspective and that what i wanted was for the assessment to rule out Dementia etc and hopefully its an infection or dehydration etc but he wouldn't have any of it and he told me not to talk about it again and to leave him alone.
So i did, I haven't asked him to go to the doctors again and i worry sick every day thjat is memory will worsen and he will injure himself or get lost or get confused with money with the wrong person and get taken advantage of. Since all this, my Aunts have both seen the issues i am dealing with and are willing to try and help me convince him to seek medical advice but he is being so stubborn.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Has anyone been in the same scenario?
Sorry for the long post!!
