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father in law

krissymc

Registered User
Sep 24, 2012
75
hi, I haven't been on this site for a while, my father in law is really ill, he is 92 and has bad ulcers on his legs, which cause him so much pain and most of the time he is dosed up on morphine. Just recently his wife who is 18 years younger and his carer was told he may have early onset dementia. She won't accept this diagnosis and is constantly trying to prove otherwise, pressuring him to remember things. Only last night he phoned us in a disorient state saying to my husband that his wife was an impostor, and he feared for his life because she was going to kill him, surely this is not normal behaviour and how do we get her to accept his diagnoses and receive help before she becomes ill herself from the worry.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
Bless him, at 92 I think it would be Early Stage rather than Early Onset which means starting at a younger than normal age, however age apart there will be problems. Perhaps MIl needs to call it Memory Problems instead of Dementia, she possibly belongs to the generation which thinks of Senile Dementia as something shameful.
Don't try to push it too much with either of them. Take every day as it comes, try to keep the pressure off MIL. . Ask her to let you contact the Soocial Services on her behalf and have a needs assessment. The other thing is to see if you can get POA forms signed and applied for so that the legal problems can been sorted. Just take things slowly and if FIL's worries get too great, he may need some medication and MIL may need some respite care help with him .
 

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