My Mother in law was always a strong independent woman who did everything in the house. She had a top job, in the city, looked after her children and enjoyed life. She now has dementia. I noticed it about 5 years ago, but she has only recently been diagnosed. My Father in law has always been a selfish, manipulative, nasty man who expects everything to be done for him. The situation is a nightmare.
As soon as she was diagnosed he sold her car, took away her mobile phone, laptop and any access to money. He now does all the cooking (even though he cannot cook!) She is served slops on a plate at his times. He goes out every night, leaving her alone and goes golfing most days. I try and visit at least once a week but she is going downhill very fast, (I think due to her treatment!) She is like a prisoner in her own home, stays in her bedroom, undressed and unwashed. I took her out today for coffee and cake, I have never seen a woman so sad, depressed, despaired. She asked him for money, as wanted some make up and face cream. A derogatory £5 was handed to her. I jokingly said " where you living 1952?" He bit my head off and told me not to get involved. I took her to Boots and bought her what she needed. She told me he has all her money, she has nothing! I can see this ending very badly.
He now has complete control over everything. Will not accept any help, will not take her anywhere, buys her clothes, refuses to walk the dog, (the dog is now overweight and fur is long)! She is aware of what is happening as was crying today. We don't know what to do, as he will not tell us anything regarding doctors etc. The man is 80 himself soon! I thought a care plan would be in place, but nothing as he will not allow it. This once. strong woman is being left to rot in a bedroom.
As soon as she was diagnosed he sold her car, took away her mobile phone, laptop and any access to money. He now does all the cooking (even though he cannot cook!) She is served slops on a plate at his times. He goes out every night, leaving her alone and goes golfing most days. I try and visit at least once a week but she is going downhill very fast, (I think due to her treatment!) She is like a prisoner in her own home, stays in her bedroom, undressed and unwashed. I took her out today for coffee and cake, I have never seen a woman so sad, depressed, despaired. She asked him for money, as wanted some make up and face cream. A derogatory £5 was handed to her. I jokingly said " where you living 1952?" He bit my head off and told me not to get involved. I took her to Boots and bought her what she needed. She told me he has all her money, she has nothing! I can see this ending very badly.
He now has complete control over everything. Will not accept any help, will not take her anywhere, buys her clothes, refuses to walk the dog, (the dog is now overweight and fur is long)! She is aware of what is happening as was crying today. We don't know what to do, as he will not tell us anything regarding doctors etc. The man is 80 himself soon! I thought a care plan would be in place, but nothing as he will not allow it. This once. strong woman is being left to rot in a bedroom.