Father-in-law to have an operation

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by DMac, Jan 20, 2016.

  1. DMac

    DMac Registered User

    Jul 18, 2015
    535
    Female
    Surrey, UK
    Update on father-in-law

    F-i-L was asleep when my OH and I went to see him yesterday evening. After a frustrating day trying to find out what is going on with him, I was eventually told that the physios are having difficulty mobilising him. So he is currently bed-bound and incontinent both ways (though he does have an indwelling catheter).

    He is medically stable though, meaning that (as I understand it) he is no longer reliant on IV antibiotics. There is some discussion about moving him to a physiotherapy unit, and possibly to a community hospital in due course. At the moment I cannot see him coming home at all, certainly not unless he recovers some mobility, enough to enable him to go to the toilet independently. We're trying to play things down for M-i-L, who (understandably) is very frightened by the whole situation. Yesterday, I had to dissuade her from walking up to the hospital. It's at least 3 miles away, and she would not have a snowball's chance in hell of getting there safely. Thankfully, another B-i-L was able to take her to the hospital to see him yesterday.

    My OH and I are away over the next 2 days, as we're attending my aunt's funeral in another part of the country. My aunt was 93 and died peacefully, not unexpectedly, about 3 weeks ago. I just wish things did not happen all at one time! Thankfully, my S-i-L (not the undermining one) is around to visit F-i-L and look after M-i-L, and I'm sure will give us updates as and when things develop.
     
  2. DMac

    DMac Registered User

    Jul 18, 2015
    535
    Female
    Surrey, UK
    Going to see F-i-L later today, after 2 days away attending my aunt' funeral. S-i-L tells me he is sleeping most of the time now, and the physios are having great difficulty mobilising him. It seems he is going to be discharged though, one way or another. It seems there are 3 choices:
    1. Bring him home, accept he is bedbound, have 2x carers vis 4x per day.
    2. Bring him home, try to continue mobilising him - he would still need 2x carers 4x per day.
    3. Put him in a residential/ care/ nursing home.

    What a choice. How shocking that he has deteriorated so quickly. Hope to meet with family members to reach a decision this evening.
     

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