Hi I've just joined this forum and found this thread, I just wondered how and what the out come was? I'm in a similar situation, my parents in law live with us we took them in 5yrs ago after mum in law fell down the stairs, sustained various serious injuries including a fraction in neck! She now has vascular dementia along with other problems. They moved in with us so we could take care of them in their "old age" she's now 86 he's 89. As of a month ago he informed me he longer wanted me in their part of the house, I was barred from my caring duties, and no longer needed! After 5yrs of my life given up for them caring, cleaning , washing ,cooking, you name it all the things you do. I've even had to deal with maggots crawling all over the place!! After a very long chat with my hubby his son, trying to reason....... He was now taking over care that I was barred due to my mental state and attitude! The reason? My mother in law had bowle incontinence and had messed the sheets had been sleeping in them for 2days! He knew and had done nothing about it! I was cross and told him he should have told me so I could change them. Fast forward I'm not allowed to care for her anymore or go into my own rooms of my own home! 4 weeks on...... She still wareing the same clothes, her hair has been washed once, that was because she had a hospital appointment, the bedding not been changed, what else hasn't done!? Doctor imformed, adult services, dementia nurse, I wanted someone to do something!!?? Hubby is allowed in but not to do anything, he's checking things! But because adult services are very busy at the moment...... And he's got money....... Will have to pay...... Nothing!!!!! He won't pay for carers or a cleaner. So what do we do?? We have power of attorney. But we can't force things?? I've even put them on the list for assisted living housing, but unless he wants to move? We know. He has some form of dementia, but even the doctor thinks he'll pass the test!! Arghhhh! It's actually causing problems with our marriage! I want them out!! How can he dictacte to me!!?? Please help I'm at breaking point!! I can't stand to she my lovely mum in law look so unclean and dirty!!