Fantastic teddy bear advice...

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by TooHard, Dec 19, 2016.

  1. TooHard

    TooHard Registered User

    Sep 16, 2015
    109
    I haven't been on the site for a while but the inevitable happened and my mum's morning carer found her lying on the floor a fortnight ago. It's been a terrible year with mum's condition deteriorating on a weekly basis until a couple of months ago when the downhill trajectory seemed to get dramatically worse.

    Anyway, after months of wasting my time with mum's GP, CPN and SW she is finally safe in hospital and won't be going home. It took the hospital about ten days of endless tests to accept that what they were seeing really was mum's baseline and that that is more or less how she's been. Several nurses have expressed their surprise that mum's accident happened at home because her dementia is so bad.

    The reason I'm posting is to say 'thank you' for the single most useful piece of advice I have gleaned from the dozens of books, articles, websites etc I have read since mum's diagnosis...that advice was on here and suggested that teddy bears can bring comfort to the PWD. I can vouch for it now.

    I was a bit dubious when I took the teddy to the hospital the first time I visited mum. When I gave it to her I asked her to look after it for me and keep it safe and, as soon as she held it, she wanted one of her own so I said she could keep that one. Watching her with it does bring home how bad her dementia is but there is no doubt that it has brought her comfort and helps her to focus when her delusions/ hallucinations are making her anxious and when her stress and anxiety levels make her somewhat bad tempered stroking the bear calms her down a lot.

    I'm so grateful to all the people who've taken the time to put advice on here and wanted to make sure the teddy advice was passed on.
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,192
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I'm glad the teddy bear is bringing her comfort. My husband had a little teddy bear which he loved. Now that he has passed away Charlie the teddy is part of my life.

    Wishing you both well.
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,620
    Female
    London
    Same here!
     

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  4. Greycardi

    Greycardi Registered User

    Sep 26, 2015
    123
    This is very touching. Something small can bring so much comfort.
     
  5. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Everyone needs a teddy...:)
     
  6. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Conversations with bear

    Hi all. I've not posted for some time now but I bought Mum her teddy bear last year and we have 'conversations' via him. Nothing terribly serious but it seems to amuse her. She doesn't cuddle him very much but he sits on the table where she can see him. She also said she didn't want me to take him into hospital (if she has to go at anytime) because he'd get lost/taken. She wanted to make sure he was safe at home.

    The compliments of the season to everyone on TP.
     
  7. Ecognome

    Ecognome Registered User

    Aug 28, 2016
    302
    France
    Hi meet Winston!
    My partner sometimes can't tell me things have happened! (Negative).
    But she will tell me Winston's in trouble!
    It's not Winston in trouble its her!

    Winston is powerful! He gives out permission slips to do things!
    He has become a message centre for difficult messages between loved one and carer!

    He cheap to run! Only 1 banana a week!
     
  8. Ecognome

    Ecognome Registered User

    Aug 28, 2016
    302
    France
    Sorry forgot to add photo!

    It's Winston's fault!
    If in dought blame Winston!
     

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  9. Greycardi

    Greycardi Registered User

    Sep 26, 2015
    123
    Winston is a hero!

    Sometimes it strikes me that Talking Point is like a dark Facebook - one where instead of posting about how amazing life is, we all post about how terrible life is, but we get so much love and support in return. on Facebook there are always silly animal video clips; on Talking Point we have Winston who actually means something....am I making any sense here? Anyway thanks for making me laugh and maybe Mum will need her own Winston one day.
     
  10. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Yes Greycardi, you are making sense (((hugs)))

    My Mum has always loved bulldogs so I asked my son to get her a toy one for Christmas. I don't know whether she is quite ready for it yet, but it is there when she is.
     
  11. Sarahdun

    Sarahdun Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    339
    I bought MYSELF a teddy bear for Xmas. It really helps.
     
  12. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,585
    Scotland
    I bought mum a cuddly toy springer spaniel puppy for Christmas as she is besotted with my real.
     
  13. Tammy5

    Tammy5 Registered User

    Jan 29, 2016
    148
    Surrey
    Hello at what point did you bring a teddy in? What was the trigger? I think it's a lovely idea. Do I just buy one or get one of the kids to ask nanny to look after one of theirs?
     
  14. janey106

    janey106 Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    139
    Teddy's and fur

    It has been many months since I posted for a whole host of reasons but I logged in this morning as I actually have a day to myself with nothing I 'have to do' and saw this thread about Teddy. Mum is not able to remember it is Christmas as such but can live in, and enjoy, 'the moment' so I took her shopping just before Xmas, as much as anything to see the decorations, enjoy the music in the shops etc. She fell in love with a fur cushion and couldn't stop stroking it and wanted to buy it for someone. My sister was duly bought the cushion but it prompted thoughts on what to get Mum so in amongst her Xmas gifts she received the same cushion ( but in cream) with matching fur throw and fleece lining and Sis picked up the Harrods 2016 Xmas bear which is cream and beautifully soft ..... Coupled to a hand-designed calendar with photos and important dates all linked together, she was so happy on Xmas day. She has no idea now where or who they came from but what is lovely and more important is the comfort and pleasure they are bringing her on a daily basis. She is sitting/snoozing on the sofa, stroking her cushion and throw and hugging her bear. Heart-warming.
     
  15. chiara

    chiara Registered User

    Oct 13, 2016
    5
    Cuddly cat

    Hi, I just wanted to comment that I've found soft toys seem to give my mother with Alzheimer's some comfort. About a year ago she noticed a teddy in a closing down sale in a shop and bought it for herself. At first I was a bit unnerved by this but came to accept the fact that she likes it to sit on her bed. Just before Christmas we were at a neighbour's house and she was showing us a toy dog she had bought for her grandson. My mother was really taken with it particularly because it was so soft so I bought her a cuddly toy cat for Christmas and she was really happy with it. She is a cat-lover and has been used to having cats all her life although her last puss died a couple of years ago. I am heartened to see this is quite normal and agree it does seem to do a lot of good.
     
  16. CynthsDaugh

    CynthsDaugh Registered User

    May 5, 2015
    140
    Salford, Lancashire
    For a while I've thought that in the future my Mum might benefit from a teddy bear. Then today we passed some on the way out of a department store and Mum just had to have one so back to the till we went. Not yet named but Mum v happy! Currently it's sat at the end of the sofa. Would have been useful if she had fallen for a smaller one, and we had a few odd looks while wheeling Mum back to the car park with the teddy on her lap but I don't care - she loves it![​IMG]


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  17. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,192
    Female
    Dundee
    As that is so beautiful. My Bill's two boys Charles and Tootles are here with me for my new year break with friends. You can see that Bill is here too. [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  18. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Aaaaw, Izzy.....xx
     
  19. Greycardi

    Greycardi Registered User

    Sep 26, 2015
    123
    Cynth'sDaugh and Izzy, what lovely posts!
     
  20. beverrino

    beverrino Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    1,111
    My mum has a number of teddy bears dotted around her lounge - she loves them! My sis didn't agree with them - but as long as mum loves them, its brilliant. Other people tend to buy her plants - which are taking over her lounge (she likes them where she can see them) so she lives in a 'jungle' full of bears lol
     

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