1. slapcabbage

    slapcabbage Registered User

    Mar 23, 2015
    1
    Dear All,
    We are having family difficulties.My Dad has vascular dementia.He has been married to my stepmother for 33 years.They have adored each other.My stepmother has said that she can't cope with living with my Dad anymore due to his memory problems/changing moods/confusion etc.She has memory problems too.She has now left my Dad to live with my stepsister.My family has accepted that my stepmother can't cope but needless to say the situation has caused great emotional stress for everybody-most of all our parents.I was wondering if anyone knows of any kind of family mediation that might help us to manage this situation into the future?
     
  2. Tears Falling

    Tears Falling Registered User

    Jul 8, 2013
    637
    I don't know of any professional services. Can you and your family try to arrange for your parents to spend time together with you all as a group. Coffee or lunch as a starting point. Your step mum probably has no idea as to what help may be available for them both. Maybe some investigation into the help and arrange for introductions so they both know they have support.

    Trying.....
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    I think the general opinion on here is "you can't make someone be a carer" and it's true you can't, so with that in mind what would you expect from mediation?
    Some genuine can't do it and some don't want to, all have their reasons and I believe we have to accept that, however, I would contact social services and involve them and get some support while he's alone and then see, if with support she might change her mind. After 33 years of marriage it must have been a very hard decision for her to take, as you say previously "she couldn't cope" what would it take to make coping possible, presuming she was prepared to entertain the idea?
    K
     

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