I'm wondering whether anyone else is struggling with a sibling that refuses to understand that I as a carer need a break now and again?
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers 4 yrs ago where she managed to live on her own in her own house 300 miles away from me for approx 3 yrs. My brother who lived an hour away looked in on her 3 times a week but didn't seem to see that mum was starting to neglect herself and her home. I would stay with mum twice a year and was horrified to see the neglect that she was inflicting upon herself. To cut a long story short I decided that it would be best for mum to come and live with me.
Mum was in a right state when she got here, she looked like a homeless person!! She had infected cat flea bites all over her body other infected areas on her body from lack of personal hygeine, very thin and her hair long and stuck to her head with grease.
I bit my tongue, scooped her up and have spent the last 6 months sorting out her medical problems. Mum has had another brain scan and has now shown Multi-infarct Dementia brought on by mini strokes (which would explain the 'falls' she was having at home) Mum also suffers from severe post stroke headaches, we're waiting for discussion with the doctor now chest x-ray results are back so mum is now both physically and mentally unwell.
Mum has left her house for my brother to deal with, he is wanting to buy it from her, do it up and sell it. My brother is very money orientated and when I suggested that I am applying for day centre and respite he hit the roof! He basically doesn't want anyone to know that mum has capital so that his inheritance is going to disappear and quote, "What do you need a break for? She's not that bad?"
The mental health team here are obviously concerned that I should get a break to recharge my batteries etc. but my question is:- Where do I stand when one sibling disagrees with another with regard to allowing SS to know that mum has capital and is this legal if I don't declare the house on the forms? We both have full POA.
Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers 4 yrs ago where she managed to live on her own in her own house 300 miles away from me for approx 3 yrs. My brother who lived an hour away looked in on her 3 times a week but didn't seem to see that mum was starting to neglect herself and her home. I would stay with mum twice a year and was horrified to see the neglect that she was inflicting upon herself. To cut a long story short I decided that it would be best for mum to come and live with me.
Mum was in a right state when she got here, she looked like a homeless person!! She had infected cat flea bites all over her body other infected areas on her body from lack of personal hygeine, very thin and her hair long and stuck to her head with grease.
I bit my tongue, scooped her up and have spent the last 6 months sorting out her medical problems. Mum has had another brain scan and has now shown Multi-infarct Dementia brought on by mini strokes (which would explain the 'falls' she was having at home) Mum also suffers from severe post stroke headaches, we're waiting for discussion with the doctor now chest x-ray results are back so mum is now both physically and mentally unwell.
Mum has left her house for my brother to deal with, he is wanting to buy it from her, do it up and sell it. My brother is very money orientated and when I suggested that I am applying for day centre and respite he hit the roof! He basically doesn't want anyone to know that mum has capital so that his inheritance is going to disappear and quote, "What do you need a break for? She's not that bad?"
The mental health team here are obviously concerned that I should get a break to recharge my batteries etc. but my question is:- Where do I stand when one sibling disagrees with another with regard to allowing SS to know that mum has capital and is this legal if I don't declare the house on the forms? We both have full POA.