1. hoby cat

    hoby cat Registered User

    Jan 26, 2014
    6
    North Devon
    Hi, This the first time I have written on here. My mum, me & my husband bought a house together so that we could keep an eye on mum as she got older. Not long after we moved in it became apparent that there was something wrong, she was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer's last Feb after a battle with Gp & she is on memanteen. I don't think this has helped as she is getting worse, we can't have a conversation with her. The problem is I have 4 sons 15,13,11 & 9. I wonder if there is anyone else in my situation. I am struggling to cope with my mums mood swings as well as my teenagers. I am worried how my mums behaviour is going to affect my boys. Luckily I have a very supportive husband. Mum often reduces me to tears.
     
  2. barny

    barny Registered User

    Jan 20, 2006
    199
    Herts
    Hi hobby cat
    My mum died in August after 15 years with dementia. She lived at home with my family and my children grew up with her. It was very difficult sometimes trying to balance everyone's needs. My daughter was always very caring with her nan and spent lots of time with her, my son, much more easily embarrassed found things more difficult. Her challenging behaviour I know caused him distress. However we came through and my kids did all the normal teenage things, sleepovers, parties etc. B oth in their early twenties now they often talk about mum and her escapades. One of my best memories is of my daughter and 3 friends who were herefor a sleepover hanging out in nans room, painting her fingernails navy blue while listening to rap music. Mum was laughing with them and enjoying herself. She would not let me take the varnish off.!I am not looking back through rose tinted glasses as at times I was desperate and ready to just run away. I would say to you take what help you can because you cannot do it all, ensure you get regular respite so that you can have a break and perhaps get a family holiday. I was always quite strict with my mum and kept to routine so that I could have some free evenings and quality time with my children. Also a supportive husband is a must. Good luck . X
     
  3. hoby cat

    hoby cat Registered User

    Jan 26, 2014
    6
    North Devon
    Thanks Barny, my boys used to spend time with mum but are finding it difficult & she gets very moody when we go out & don't take her with us. We have managed to have 1 weeks holiday when my sister stayed with her
     

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