I also pay the top up fee, I am desperate for
help and no seems to want to know, any advise please.
My advice; Stop paying the top up fee.
I read your blog Mary9, and I bet you feel no one is listening to you but everyone is to your sisters.
Can I tell you what experience I am going through at the moment, and you may see similarities.
For 7 years my late sister in law received full time care, whether it was through respite stays or then a permanent placement was found in a home.
Until my hubby was awarded deputy-ship by C.O.P, he had to keep taking his sister out of the nursing home down to the bank to withdraw funds which were immediately paid towards her care fees, and personal expensive's.
Finally, he was awarded to act on behalf of C.O.P by being made a deputy-ship.
Every year he had to submit a full account file of all ingoings, outgoings, bank accounts closed...the lot.
Over the years visits to S.i.L on birthday and christmas nephews declined. And for the last two years of her life, her 3 nephews (beneficiaries to her will, along with my hubby) didn't even submit a birthday card never mind a visit.
Finally, she was blessed with peace from her decline in dementia, last year.
The final week of her life my hubby and I took it in turns to go and sit with her for a few hours each day. I would brush her hair do her nails, little things that had a contact to which she would show some reaction.
After her passing, then came the greed.
My hubby has not had time at all in the past year to grieve for his sister.
As I stated earlier, my hubby was accountable to C.O.P. Also, my S.i.L fully funded herself all those years at an average cost of £400 a week.
Now the other 3 beneficiaries feel they are owed something more than just the proceeds from the sale of the house.
So, my hubby and I have been accused of theft from the estate.
The intimidation from those 3 sons (and partners) got so bad, a solicitors letter was sent to the 2nd (my hubby being the other executor) executor of the will (hubby eldest son) to stop the allegations, and to approach the C.O.P for confirmation of my hubby's duties.
I would like to add that C.O.P have stated that if they found no just cause to question my hubby's role then that should be the end of the matter.
Now over a year later, and after a few months of peace and quiet, it has come to our attention that my hubby is being investigated by the police.
They have been checking to see if we have made any recent large purchases, which we haven't. We have even contacted the police to offer our bank statements to show we have done no wrong and not hiding anything.
Well, Mary like us you have nothing to hide and the paper trail will lead the investigators in the right direction. Let them do their investigation. In the meantime, and I know she is your mum, but she will receive care regardless where the fund comes from.
I would say; Stop paying any money to top up her fees. Let the Adult Services assess your mums financial needs and assets for costs to be met there, this will also allow her some spendy money for little things to keep her happy. And you can then always give her gifts of treats and toiletries for special occasions or on visits.
When all the investigations are over with, and you are cleared of any wrong doing.
If there is a point your mum requires a deputyship or similar, and there is also a will involved with family beneficiaries, My advice would be let someone else take on those roles and be made accountable.
I recently made a will and after my hubby, the executor is the solicitor.
What many beneficiaries seem to forget is, while the person is alive the assets are actually theirs to do with as they wish, what's left is then for the benefciary...after debts been paid.
There will be a good outcome, unfortunately it will just take time to get to that point.
As for us, we have nooooo idea who has made accusations to the police to have our finances investigated, the police won't provide that information or possibly ever will.
