Falling apart


Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
Morecambe, UK
This thread title refers not only to my emotional state at the moment but more importantly to Jean's circle of care.

This is what is going on in my life at the moment:-

Gav has two interviews this week coming so we are both stressed out because of that to start with (he is being made redundant at the end of next month), we are starting to try a delivery of frozen meals that the home help can microwave for jean (which means getting her a new microwave and there is no guarantee that she will like them), her sister that lives next door is now in a home as she is dying of cancer (Jean is worried sick and looks terrible for it - more confused than normal etc etc, mainly because NOBODY is telling her what is going on with Joan (her sister) ), her other sister has given up caring for Jean and is off on holiday next week (leaving Jean COMPLETELY alone except the home help that visit twice a day - god alone knows what she might do to herself if she realises she can't find either of her sisters, especially at night!!) and all she wants to know is when we are putting Jean in a home, I have started looking for a care home but is breaking my heart and I have NO idea how we will get her into one - she is soooooo stuborn and to top it all off I have just heard that a close friend of my family died last night.

I just want to crawl into bed and never come out from under the covers!!!! :(

Sorry for going on but I just needed someone to talk to :(



Registered User
Mar 13, 2006
hi blue gremlin,

cant help a lot with your problems sorry, and you do seem to have your fair share at the moment, just wanted you to know there is someone listening, i understand totally the feeling of never wanting to get out of bed, either that or get in the car and keep driving till im miles away both of which ive never done:rolleyes:
i do hope the interviews go well, will keep my fingers crossed for you, and i hope you get things sorted with jean,
heres a {{{{hug}}}} to keep you going not much help i know, and they do say a problem shared is a problem halved, so by the time everyone else has read this thread things should be much better:rolleyes: (i hope)
take care xx


Registered User
Mar 15, 2006
Morecambe, UK
dmc said:
heres a {{{{hug}}}} to keep you going not much help i know,
dmc, that is more help than you know (nearly made me cry in fact). I am so glad I have so many people on this site who I can turn to when I am feeling low.




Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
West Sussex
I understand how you feel, I have had days like that too, I don't want to be anywhere near people or a phone, that way I can kid myself that Mum is well and I have no worries.

Back to reality though, we had to find Mum a place urgently, not once, but twice, and we were extremely lucky to find the first and second ones really quickly.

The first time round I opened the phone book and rang half a dozen until I had two to look at and chose the second because, although it was more expensive, it "felt" right.

Do you know anyone who has experience of relatives or friends being in care homes? If that home is not right, the staff may know of somewhere that is, always worth asking, that's how I found Mum's current home.

I will be thinking of you and hope you very soon find a solution that brings peace of mind to you all.



Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Blue Gremlin,
You have such a lot on your plate at present, no wonder you want to stay in bed.
Take Kathleen's advice on Care Homes. I know that it is an awful decision to have to make, but you will feel even worse if something happens to Jean because she is not being supervised.
Hope that the interviews go well for Gav, let us know how he gets on.
Love Helen


Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
hi Blue Gremlin ......... posting you from under our bed covers (wretched day round here too) ........ pop round and join us if you like :cool:

might be worth having a look at some care homes now and getting on waiting lists of the one/s you like. when we looked around we found we could put dad's name down, no committement, and when a place came up say whether we wanted it or not. it's a painful process, but doing something now might help avoid a frantic scamble around in weeks/months time.

just a thought with microwave that you probably already realised. dad used to have those micro meals but his home care came really too early for him to want to be having his lunch then. we found they could set the microwave and put the meal in all ready then all dad had to do was close the door when he wanted to cook it ........ and .......... um ......... remember he'd cooked it and eat it :( this eventually came to be too much of a challenge and the meal was still there when i visited after work, but it worked out fine for a while.


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