1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    On Sunday the MIL had a fall nothing broken but it has shaken up arthritis in her hip that she did not know she had. We had a physio come around on Monday didn't do much and said if she was not better by Wednesday to call him, he left a zimmer frame with wheels. Anyway roll on Wednesday we got the doctor out as the MIL was in pain and we get a trip to A&E to get an Xray.

    The rapid response nurses were asked to come out on Monday they were too busy and called Wednesday to see if all was ok - well you can imagine the sarcasm from the OH. We got a different zimmer frame which we bought without wheels as she was trying to push it too far in front and catch up with it! Anyway I emailed our Social Worker to ask about the incontinence nurse coming around as since the fall the MIL has become well, incontinent! So the social worker was out of the office and to email said to contact the duty social worker so I did - she then passed me onto the social care organiser who said she would get the community nurses to call around - that was Friday and here we are Sunday and no call, zilch and they do work the weekends I was told.

    Anyway apart from my moan the lack of help from the local health and social care (we are slightly different to the UK but appears we have the same issues) does anyone have experience of the same thing happening, ie a fall then becoming incontinent? She is able to get to the toilet and remembers in the day to a point and never had any problems before apart from wearing a tena lady pad - but now at night she is going through 3 - 4 tena lady pants - I have also found her trying to stick 10 tena lady pads in the pants which has led to a rather "sticky" situation went all the backs have been peeled off! Apologies but I offend anyone but have to make humour over this somewhere! Do you think she will get her continence back or is this may be an ongoing thing. Surprisingly she was quite happy to use the pants which did surprise me as she has been so against them before. Anyway if anyone has been in the situation let me know the outcome. Also any recommendations for anything other than the Tena Lady Pants would be appreciated as they are ok but not quite as absorbent as we had hoped - the MIL also says they get quite "heavy" I wonder why?!
    Thanks
     
  2. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,415
    Essex
    Dear Donkeyshere,

    I had all this with dad whose falls were due to low sodium. It was also found that he had osteoperosis and it wasn't that he was forgetting to go to toilet but he couldn't go in time. Therefore I think you should go back to the doctor because it maybe that your mil being in pain from her hip is preventing her from getting to the toilet in time.#

    Thinking of you all as I remember going through this

    MaNaAk
     
  3. Lirene

    Lirene Registered User

    Sep 15, 2019
    140
    I know GP’s get worried about the sciatic nerve and people having problems going to the loo because if this. Maybe another urgent visit to her GP and explain the problems.
    Love and hugs xx
     
  4. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands

    Thanks MaNaAk - would think like you say is more a timing issue hopefully - doubt its low sodium as she does like her salt on her food!!! But I have booked a routine visit next Friday with the doc so can maybe get a blood test etc done then - but the MIL did say I was an Angel today - ****** just tripped over my halo!!
     
  5. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,415
    Essex
    That goes to show a wonderful daughter-in-law you are in the beginning dad said that I had probably saved his life and at the end he never forgot me. Cherish the moment.

    MaNaAk
     
  6. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    Thanks Lirene its not sciatic nerve - I know what that's like and she is a little better today. Have emailed the SW again to ask if Community nurses can come around tried not to be sarcastic after the lack of rapid response from the Not So Rapid Response Nurses! I know they are all under pressure and still do a great job regardless.
     
  7. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    I kept ringing & following up my phone calls with emails!
    I was a total ( & still am ) pain in the derrière !
    Mum is still on lists for incontinence assessments but after I was asked to purchase Tena pads I pointed out that it was a medical need & not a social need!

    lead ballon moments- yes I’ve had a few let’s say!

    Keep pushing it’s the only way, the emails are a good paper trail to have.
     
  8. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    Dont worry I am one stubborn -----! hence the name donkeys - a name for Guernsey people - stubborn as a donkey!
     
  9. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    O
    Oh bless thank you - just remember your dad said that to you and no-one else - I have learnt from a dementia course that whilst the memory my fade the emotions that were there at the beginning do not - so if your dad said that then he meant it regardless. As you say, I do store up those moments.
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    Or stubborn as a mule!
    Me I’m just very black & white - as life’s mainly grey it’s interesting shall we say at times!

    it’s a big issue to access help, my own GP provides an excellent service ! I just need to move my PWD close by!
    x
     
  11. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    Not sure I can our get our PWD any closer - less than 20 ft!! It has its advantages and disadvantages! But sometimes you have to be black and white it shakes people up a bit!
     
  12. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    I really don’t think I could do that! How selfish am I ? Hats off to you.. great respect!
    X
     
  13. CardiffGirlInEssex

    CardiffGirlInEssex Registered User

    Oct 6, 2018
    61
    Hi, my mum recently became unable to weight bear, quickly followed by bladder incontinence. She was taken to hospital as a stroke was suspected but it turned out to be a severe UTI. Several different antibiotics later, plus a couple of weeks with a catheter, and she has regained bladder control and some mobility. So I wonder if a UTI could be at the bottom of your MiL's problem?
     
  14. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    So I emailed the SW to ask when the Community Nurse was going to pop round so I could speak to her and apparently she came yesterday when I was out for half hour. Seems the MIL told her she did not need any support as she had me! It was me that needs the support so she is having to come again on Thursday as that's the only time she can come, again. I gave them my number to call me in the first place and yet it was ignored - loving the continuity of care! Don't worry will only 10 days since she fell and we eventually see a nurse!
     
  15. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    never easy is it!
     
  16. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
     
  17. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    315
    channel islands
    you can say that again - by the way you are not selfish if I had a choice again about the MIL living with us knowing what I do now, I would have reconsidered.
     
  18. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    Hindsight is a wonderful thing. @Donkeyshere try & take some time out for you & take care xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.