Faeces and urine in the loo but no paper?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by JayGun, Oct 24, 2015.

  1. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA
    Is he still living? What do you mean that the Vascular got the upper hand in the end?

    Yes-sweets are her complete favorite. She always says she's not hungry, yet you put anything sweet under her nose and she gobbles it up. That's interesting to me- I've read because that's about all they can taste? Is that right? She was diagnosed a year ago with just "dementia" and this past summer with Vascular. But looking back, I'm thinking she has been dealing with this for 3+ years so far at least. Does that mean we are near the end? Does the sweets, loosing the ability to walk, constipation - are these end stage things?
     
  2. SugarRay

    SugarRay Registered User

    May 5, 2014
    48
    Sunny South East
    My Mum uses her towels and the loo paper goes in the waste bin... if she uses it in the first place.... I couldn't figure it out so I left the door slightly ajar..... :( SR
     
  3. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,984
    Suffolk
    Hi MILVasculardem,
    OH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dem about 2007. He had been showing signs of memory loss for several years, but a decision to move house delayed going to the gp!
    He was given donepezil and tolerated it well. He had a TIA some months later, when we were told that the scan found an earlier TIA but not the current one! What earlier one was our response!
    So time progressed, the number of TIAs increased. About 4 years ago he could no longer be left alone, though he went to daycare, to give me a break.
    Over the last 18 months he got markedly worse. Mentally he did not know things like birthdays and Christmas. In January 14 he had to have an operation on his leg arteries, which were blocked. Immediately before that, he could only walk a short distance because of pain in the calves, it's called intermittent claudication. The op solved this problem, but he was unsteady and used 2 sticks afterwards, rather than one.

    He was always subject to constipation, but this became lots more frequent last year. TIAs were also increasing in frequency. He was always keen on sweet thing, especially meringue/cream, in any guise.
    Things then went downhill quickly. By Easter this year he could barely walk, was not eating and drinking very much, his speech was poor. TIA s were occurring several times a week - Easter in A&E anybody?. His dementia meds were then stopped by consultant. He went into respite care in April. After a tummy bug ( mine) chest infection (his), he stayed in care from end May. He went downhill even more and died at the end of July from chest infection. The death surprised people, even in the care home, at it's speed. Maybe a blessing, though.

    So....most people develop a sweet tooth, though I don't think it just happens as last stage. ability to walk, well, his was complicated by vascular problems, but as you lose weight and get frail, it's not so easy to weightbear. Late stage, I would think. Constipation. He was always subject to it a bit, but at late/end stage the brain forgets what to do. I know OH did not always know how to do things like weeing and passing pooh.

    I said the vascular dementia got the upper hand because he was having so many TIAs at the end.

    Sorry, long answer to direct question. The problem with dementia is that if you've seen one person with dementia, you've seen one person with dementia. Meaning everybody is different. So what I've said may not apply to you. But there are similarities that occur, so you may be able to pick up the gist of what's going on.

    Good luck!
     
  4. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA
    Sorry, long answer to direct question. The problem with dementia is that if you've seen one person with dementia, you've seen one person with dementia. Meaning everybody is different. So what I've said may not apply to you. But there are similarities that occur, so you may be able to pick up the gist of what's going on.

    Good luck![/QUOTE]

    Spamar-

    Oh, no - no apologies for the long answer! That is very helpful. I will probably start a new thread asking anyone's experiences with VaD. I'm learning here.

    Like you, ours started with a TIA this last summer, with scans seeing past ones, but not the current one. And yes, I'm learning that everyone is different. I'm such an analytical person that I fight the need for cut-and-dry answers. I lost my dad to brain cancer, my mom to heart and lung disease and my father-in-law to lung cancer. All were defined diseases that you saw the end coming. This one is much harder, in my opinion.

    Her nurse comes in weekly and weighs her and she is not loosing weight at all, which so completely surprises all of us because she eats so poorly. And her memory is not like one with Alzheimer's. To the average visitor, they'd think nothing was wrong. But to the rest of us, you could tell she has no idea what is being talked about, that she is making up half of what she is saying and she won't remember half of what was said once it's done. But her walking is getting worse and worse and she also has leg pain.

    We knew she had a major TIA this past summer because she could not speak at all temporarily. I knew she was having a stroke at that moment. But it did not effect her face or weakness on either side. Just unable to speak for a few minutes. Is that what you observed with he was having TIA's? Or do they present in other ways? I wonder because she will be very very "foggy" some days. Sometimes like she's staring out at nothing. I'm wondering if those are TIA's?

    Thank you so much for your time. This helps me so much!
     
  5. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,984
    Suffolk
    #25 Spamar, Oct 25, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2015
    The trouble is, TIAs also vary. They can be nearly a full stroke, or so small you dont notice. The first one we knew about affected his walking - he was dragging his foot- which lasted most of the day and he ended up in A&E. That was several years ago, may 7? He bent down to out something in the dishwasher and described it as feet getting disconnected from brain. Others varied from this to blanking out for a second. The ones at Easter affected speech, slurring, and dragging his foot, again.
    He was out on Quetiapine, an antipsychotic, at one stage. In the week or so he was on the full dose he had TIAs every day! He was switched to Memantine, which was effective but no TIA s. After a small one he became very tired, but an hour or two on the bed was sufficient to enable him to feel better.
    I would think what you are describing are TIA s, but don't forget that elderly people with dementia often forget what to do or where anything is. OH loved reading, some TV, music, poetry and so on but he lost the ability to do any of them long before late stages.

    I'm like you in that I like to know! I found that by reading around the subject (AS have some good fact sheets) and talking to people it helped me enormously. So if I new behaviour occurred I was ready ( ish!).

    Taste does go as you get older, leaving sweet! OH already liked sweet things, so surgery in coffee went from 2 to 3 teaspoonful for instance. Dementia just seems to hurry it up!

    I would get the leg pain checked out, it may not be anything to do with dementia and these things are better dealt with sooner rather than later.
     
  6. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    #26 JayGun, Oct 25, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2018
    It's awful isn't it? How they are so different from the person we've known? My mother in law would kick her poo bucket over in the bedroom and just leave it there. She would never ever in a million years have done that before. She was one of those who was whipping your coffee cup out of your hand before you'd finished with it and hoovering up cake crumbs while you were still eating.

    I've been quite sanguine about the repetition and forgetfulness and living in an alternate reality. It's ok when she's badly behaved at the doctors because I know they understand that she can't help it etc.

    A lot of the time I can even see the funny side. For instance, during the summer we were all working in her garden for the day and a neighbour passed and complimented her on her garden, and said it was looking lovely. "All my own work" says MIL. "I'm just an old lady living on me own and nobody helps me." "So I see" said the neighbour smiling and waving at me on my knees in the flower bed and my daughter clipping back bushes, over the sound of my son mowing and my husband using the power clippers on the hedge...! :D:D:D

    But this latest money thing (She's giving 2/3 of her income away to charity every month and she gave all her bank details to a fella who knocked on the door. Then later it transpired that she has tried to read her card out to several men on the phone) plus the poo and wee are the things I really struggle with.
     
  7. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Another thing to consider might be Dementia with Lewy Bodies. My MIL is diagnosed with Alzheimers but I have put a call in to memory clinic to discuss whether Lewy Bodies might be involved as well because she has really "blank " phases where she doesn't seem to understand speech at all. Her level of alertness and confusion varies from "could pass as normal if you didn't look too closely" to absolutely blank and barely responsive. She also has a blood pressure drop when standing, is very bent over, walks very badly nowadays, has problems with her balance, very disrupted sleep. (leading to night time phone calls. JOY.) She seems to be having problems recognising people. (She called my son a strange man this week) She's also having a lot of digestive problems that nobody can really find a cause for, her temperature thermostat is up the spout. (We came round in the summer and she had the heating on full blast. It was 28 degrees outside and about 34 in the house I reckon. I nearly died, but she reckoned she wasn't overly warm.)

    I don't know if any of this sounds familiar to you, but thee's more reading here:

    http://www.alz.org/dementia/dementia-with-lewy-bodies-symptoms.asp
     
  8. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Wouldn't we all darling? You poor thing. It's a nightmare and no mistake. I'm panicking about it all at the moment, but I expect I'll learn to cope. Somehow nappies and accidents with the children weren't a problem but dealing with MIL's always has me bringing up my breakfast. :(
     
  9. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA

    OH!! That happened to us before she was diagnosed (but looking back - I'm sure she was already in the midst of VaD) We had come to visit her, she was shredding a kleenex in her lap, which was a sign that she was feeling guilty about something. Finally she said, "...Hun (she calls everyone Hun ;)), this man called the other day and he explained to me what a routing number is on my checking account...." and my husband and I didn't hear anything else she said because we were tripping over each other getting to the phone to call and shut down that account. The thief got just over $250.00 US dollars before we got to the phone. It was at that moment we knew we were about to completely change our entire world and have to move and take care of her. Thankfully, she trusts her son/my husband and pretty quickly turned over all monies and financial responsibilities to him.

    And I want you to know that scumbag thief had the audacity to call her back and cuss her out because she closed that checking account!!!!! That was before we moved there, so when we came to visit, we'd PRAY the slime would call when we were there - but of course he never did. But he did when we were not there and he was torturing her. So, we eventually just had to disconnect that number. Boy - I wanted to answer that phone with him on the other line just once!!!! These people who prey on the elderly have a special place in hell if you ask me.....:mad:
     
  10. Optomistic

    Optomistic Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    116
    Manchester
    We have baby wipes in the loo and in my handbag i go with my husband if we are out in the disabled loo. I have a radar key with me all the time i dont clean him just get the paper and pass the wipes but he is always clean. If an accident occurs because he gets bouts of diahorea i have underpants with me so he can change. I look after him 24/7 he is only in the early stages of Alzheimers.
     
  11. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA
    Oh boy - I LOVE your log-in name!!!! Thank you for bright'in up my day!! :)
     
  12. Rustcookie

    Rustcookie Registered User

    Oct 24, 2015
    7
    Shropshire
    Mother in law this morning decided she was going to use the wrapper from the toilet roll to wipe herself, after she had already pooed in her pants and then pulled her pants up and threw the plastic on the bathroom floor, oh the joy to get up to, luckily though I bought some baby wipes and nappy sacks yesterday so was prepared for it.
    Asked her if she thought it was time she used adult nappies and she joyfully shouted yes she needs them, poor love thinks life is just a game now and giggles and laughs at everything no matter how serious it can be. So will get on the doctor and see if they have an incontience nurse and how I go about getting some.
     
  13. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA
    I'm guessing nappies are like adult diapers or "Pull-ups" we call them over here? You have to ask for them? Are you able to buy your own, or is it just better to wait and have them provided? I am finding our difference in medical in our two countries so interesting!
     

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