Faeces and urine in the loo but no paper?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by JayGun, Oct 24, 2015.

  1. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Has anybody else had this?

    About half the time when I go in MIL's loo I have to flush it before I can use it because there is poo and wee in it - but no loo paper?

    She barely uses any toilet roll. About a roll a month. (We get through almost a roll a day in our house. #Roughageinnit )

    Any ideas what's happening? The mystery of it keeps me awake at night.
     
  2. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,585
    Err...not using Loo roll?


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,724
    Female
    London
    Completely normal in my household. If I don't clean him up, he isn't using any loo paper. Or flushing the loo.
     
  4. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,104
    Male
    North Manchester
    At least she's using the toilet and not choosing some other container and if nothing obvious just the floor, usually in a corner.
     
  5. Rustcookie

    Rustcookie Registered User

    Oct 24, 2015
    7
    Shropshire
    My MIL does this too, though I now go with her and clean her up as she has no idea how to do it herself anymore
     
  6. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    She does often smell rather wee-ey - but I put that down to accidents. She forgets to go and then starts going when she's still en route.

    And I'm always buying her new packs of pants. Because she says she hasn't got any. She gets maggoty fly infestations now and again because she stuffs soiled underwear in plastic bags and promptly forgets about them.

    But surely she'd be sore if she wasn't wiping? She can't usually tell you about symptoms or anything, so we have to watch her instead and she's not fidgeting or scratching or holding any part of her in that region. UTI tests have always come up negative so far.

    Just for background, MIL is 84, she lives alone, independently with no help apart from us.

    We only do her shopping and pay her bills, which she allows, and sneak in on weekends to do cleaning. Which she does not allow. It means somebody has to be available to take her out, whilst somebody else cleans, but it's the best we can do at the moment.

    She is resistant to all help. She's very hard to help. Because she's fine you see? Nothing wrong with her.

    Social services have offered meals on wheels and telecare, but she refused telecare and probably lacks the willingness and ability to use it. (She'd have to wear something) I have refused meals on wheels on her behalf because unless it arrived piping hot at exactly the right time that she wanted to eat she would never eat it. I have a very low success rate of taking meals round. We usually find it uneaten in the bin. Plate and all.

    Oh god. Things just seem to get more and more desperate every week and as far as I can tell there is no help out there for her.
     
  7. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Well this is true. :D We are grateful for that. Although she does wobble on the stairs and chuck her commode bucket up the wall on the regular though - which is similar in terms of clean up.

    It's better now it's a small commode bucket rather than before when it was an actual bucket. She spills a lot less often. I think the smaller one is easier to carry. And less likely to be kicked over in the bedroom.
     
  8. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    Oh god. You poor thing. :( We would hope that MIL hasn't reached that stage yet. She still scores 15 on the MMSE and has been assessed as having capacity to manage her own financial affairs recently. I just can't think of any other explanation.
     
  9. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    #9 JayGun, Oct 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2018
    *eyes the hand towel in her loo very suspiciously* Oh god, that's awful. How on earth did you cope? I'm rubbish at this.
     
  10. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    #10 balloo, Oct 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2018
    have had this for last 6 months including using towels, no toilet paper and flushing or hand washing .even had her take off her incontinence pants off in the night and stuff then under sink cupboard covered in poo along with a towel in same state. HAve also had paper backet filled with poo as well. I have to go with MIL and make sure she is clean and washers her hands. I must admit I am getting fed up of finding toilet full of poo no pare and not flushed at 630 am and I have to clean as I work with children so needs to be clean. if I did not go with MIL during the day as I remind her to go she would not go for 6 or 7 hrs . No idea how to advise thought it was just us . Its a relief it is not. MAy have to give up work in the next 6 mths if it keeps happening
     
  11. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    I think that must be very hard. :( I'm going to have to take MIL to the doctor to see if she's sore aren't I? Because I just pop in, I'm not with her all the time.
     
  12. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    my MIL has lived with us for the last 3 years . my husband cannot deal with so its left to me .
     
  13. JayGun

    JayGun Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    291
    My heart goes out to you. :( I'm no good at dealing with this type of mess. I regularly throw up while cleaning her stairs after a spill. MIL definitely doesn't wash her hands either. But will always claim she has obviously. She's had the same small hand wash in there all year. I buy a new one once a month at our house.

    Will your finances cope with losing your wage? Ours are not doing very well. I'm supposed to be working for myself but most days are spent supervising MIL or dealing with the aftermath of not supervising her well enough. :(
     
  14. Rustcookie

    Rustcookie Registered User

    Oct 24, 2015
    7
    Shropshire
    MIL has forgotten what a toilet is now I think, she often pees and poos on the floor in her room, when she first came here she was staying in our bedroom as the spare room was an office where I work and she pee'd on the floor 4 nights running, no matter how much I clean the floor I can still smell it. She also has pooped in the bath ie sat with her bum over it and used it as a toilet, she will often use towels or use nothing at all to clean herself with, I am currently getting used to her peeing and pooing herself at least once a day.

    At the minute playing the no game as she's constantly trying to walk up and down the steps in my conservatory and she keeps falling down them but she won't listen, be glad when it's bedtime lol
     
  15. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,724
    Female
    London
    It has its advantages. At least I know when he's done something! It's just par for the course.

    Have you got LPA? If she still has capacity, it's not too late.
     
  16. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    since MIL moved in my wages has gone from 30K to 8K any way she has good pensions use what we need to keep her safe and happy and we sold her bungalow and have been told do what we have to do and that's by a solicitor . I will not if at all possible put her in a home , may have to for restbite next year if she still with us.
     
  17. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    I have barrer cream to stop sore or bed sores as well .got district nurse in as was sore one week but she was very helpful and got us a cream and a spray if it that sore I cannot touch it. its my hands that are getting sore as use gloves but still was hands after I sorted her and of course when I need to go as well. I take her 3 times between 9am and 3pm as I work from 3-5.30 from home.
    We have had it n a paper bin as well but its all part of it ,I have had to take it with a pinch of salt as I would go mad if I did not.
     
  18. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    JayGun, my mum is the same, she makes a loo roll last a month. I found she was storing used paper on top of the toilet for a repeated use and goes mental if she sees us throw it out.
    She also refuses all care help, cleaners and meals on wheels, and has a commode bucket in her bedroom. She can still wash herself. We also clean when she is at her lunch club as she goes mad when she sees us do it (she's not done housework for over 40 years!)
     
  19. MILVascularDem

    MILVascularDem Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    44
    Deep South in the USA

    My MIL moved in with us this past July. My husband is an only child, so it's pretty much up to me as well. He's supportive and tries to help, but really can't do much. It's pretty uncomfortable for a male child with a female parent - for him anyway.

    She's been constipated for several days now. She's very descriptive on what she has produced and what she hasn't, which pretty much drives him out of the room. It's so much like having a toddler again on how they would come running out of the bathroom all excited yelling "did poopy...did poopy!!".....usually when we had company! HA! I'm waiting for that to happen any time now with MIL.

    Anyway - I've been trying to help her with her constipation with natural things like Prune Juice, apple juice, oatmeal, fiber foods.....nothing. She refuses to drink water....(DUH!! WONDER WHY WE ARE CONSTIPATED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!)...says water upsets her stomach. Really? So, last night, it started moving and I'll be darn if I didn't go in the bathroom after she finished and there was poo all up and down the wall next to the toilet paper roll. WHAT WAS SHE DOING???? So, I got a warm wet washcloth and went to her bed and washed off her hands. I told her why I was washing off her hands and she was surprised.

    She has Vascular Dementia - I've learned that the brain starts shutting normal function things down, is that right? Anyone know about VaD? She's loosing her ability to walk now. So, are the bowels forgetting what to do? Is that part of it?
     
  20. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,981
    Suffolk
    Fraid so, balloo.
    OH had mixed - Alzheimer's and vascular - but it seemed the vascular got the upper hand towards the end! He had constipation, the overflow kind ( bowel blocks but seepage occurs round the edges). Fortunately, he knew where the loo was, even if he wasn't quite sure what he had to do, or even which was which between wee and pooh. It's something he has always been subject to, though only to the level of once per 2-3 years, not the once/month it became.
    Lactulose, or similar, senna if a real problem, paracetamol - it hurts when trying to pass solid things - seemed to be his best. Water or any liquid if no water. He had All Bran every day, had done for years. However, as his eating became less, he, like others, preferred the sweet things.

    Good luck!
     

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