Extra Carer and Meals

[Misslovely]

My Mother is in the early stages of Alzhiemer’s. She has a carer once a day for an hour in the mornings and this works well.

I had asked the carer to help with the online shopping list and meal planning. I was under the impression that my Mother was able to cook (mostly) healthy evening meals.

The memory nurse has told me that she would recommend another Carer comes in to make sure my Mother eats a healthy meal in the evenings. The problem is that my Mother wouldn’t give me Power of Attorney several years ago and I am waiting for deputyship (final papers have been submitted). I don’t feel comfortable going down the best interest route again to get another Carer as I don’t know much about my Mother’s finances. The Carer’s costs can be up to £1000 a month as the care company charge double on bank holidays.

Also my Mother lives with a family member who is unable to help and I don’t have a good relationship with him. He wouldn’t want another Carer in as it would disrupt his routine. I’ve got to the point where I can no longer deal with him.

I am going to speak to the Carer and see what she thinks. I know it sounds selfish but all this stress is affecting my anxiety and ability to sleep.

Any suggestions?

 

[MartinWL]

Would she agree to eat her main meal at lunch time, prepared by the carer?

 

[Misslovely]

Would she agree to eat her main meal at lunch time, prepared by the carer?

Hi. She doesn’t usually eat much at lunchtime and has been having nutrition drinks. She needs to prepare a meal for the person she lives with as well. He can’t help to prepare the meals.

I’m getting to the point where this stress is impacting on me a lot.

I’ve looked into evening meals on wheels and there don’t seem to be any in my area.

 

[MartinWL]

Hi. She doesn’t usually eat much at lunchtime and has been having nutrition drinks. She needs to prepare a meal for the person she lives with as well. He can’t help to prepare the meals.

I’m getting to the point where this stress is impacting on me a lot.

I’ve looked into evening meals on wheels and there don’t seem to be any in my area.

It does rather look as if a carer needs to visit in the evenings to cook dinner. If I have understood correctly there are two people living in the house, neither of whom is capable of cooking dinner. For whatever reason. The main meal has to be in the evening. The options are therefore :
* Someone, a carer, cook, etc comes in daily to cook it
* Microwave meals from the freezer but again someone coming in, for a shorter time, to microwave them
* Hot food deliveries, whether meals on wheels, or the local takeaway restaurant

I have carers visiting my dad at 1700 daily to cook and I stock the fridge weekly with fresh vegetables, trifle and fruit salad, and semi-prepared meals like shepherd's pie. You could get a care company to potentially do that weekly role if you cannot. Unfortunately it sounds as if you can no longer get away with a morning visit alone.

 

[Rosettastone57]

I agree with @MartinWL , you will probably need a carer visit in the evening, if not now, then eventually. Meals on wheels type services don't deliver in the evening , only delivering a main meal at lunchtime. You could ask the morning carer to make up a sandwich for her to eat later. Would she need prompting to eat it ? If so a short carer visit might suffice. There's going to come a point where as the illness progresses, and more care is needed, disruption to the other person's routine is going to be inevitable, if they're still living in the same household.

 

[Misslovely]

Hi. Thanks for your responses. I am going to speak to the morning carer and ask her if she thinks a Carer in the evenings is necessary as I was under the impression that she had helped with meal plans and my Mother was managing. My Mother’s GP seems to do things to cover her back but obviously I need to make sure that my Mother is eating properly.