Hi, I don't think i'll be able to manage Wednesday but would be grateful of any tips around how to support my mum around issues with money. She has early dementia, is very able in many ways however is a bit at risk and vulnerable money-wise, quite prone to telling strangers her pin number, internet scams (only occasional as she often forgets how to access the internet), losing her wallet, or her bank card, forgetting how to use ATM's etc...grateful for any advice, thanks
Hi
Thanks for your question.
Firstly just to say as I’m sure you can appreciate, there is not always a single answer here as everybody is different and so what works for one person may not work for another. Therefore, it can often be a matter of trial and error to see what works best for you and your mum, but there are a few suggestions I can make that may help.
You mention a number of issues around risk and safety, and a particular concern around internet scams. If your mum is using the internet on a computer and using a browser you can look at pop up blockers and these may help cut down some of the adverts that she may see as these adverts can sometimes be scammers. If using a smart phone or tablet there are various apps available that block adverts. If she has emails then with her consent you may wish to look at her spam filters to ensure that they are working.
You also mention your concerns about her telling strangers her pin number, and this can put her at risk. This is difficult, as she may not see this as a problem, or if you speak to her she may acknowledge that this isn’t a wise thing to do but then continue to do this. Speaking to her though may get your mum to think about this and the two of you may be able to come up with a solution together. For example, would she find having a ‘chip and signature’ card easier, this is where she would sign rather than use a PIN number, she would need to ask her bank for one, but some people with dementia do find this easier, and it would eliminate the concern around her telling people her PIN.
In terms of the ATM, it may be that she may need prompting to go into the bank rather than using the machine, again a ‘chip and signature’ card would mean that she would need to go into the bank. Many ATM machines now also have an option to plug in headphones so that someone can listen to instructions – some people found this useful others don’t as it doesn’t seem natural or instinct and they have to remember to bring the headphones and where they plug in.
In terms of her losing her wallet including her bank card, this may be difficult to stop, but you can consider some practical ideas to try to limit this. For example, I once worked with someone who kept losing her purse, but would always have her handbag with her and know where that was, we found that by attaching one end of a key chain to her purse and the other to her handbag meant that she no longer lost it as it was always with her handbag.
You may not find a solution to her losing her wallet, but you can consider how to limit the impact this may have. Where possible try to ensure your mum (again with consent) doesn’t have too much money in her purse, and only has essential cards. If she is losing her bank card then you may wish to ensure that she does not have a contactless payment card, your mum – or you with her consent could also speak to the bank about setting a limit on withdrawals.
These are just a few ideas and suggestions that may help, and I’m sure that many Talking Point members will also have some suggestions for you.