1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Experiences of carers

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Reds, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    539
    Hertfordshire
    Morning all

    Wondering how people feel in general about having carers in their home. My husband has Alzheimer's and is in his sixties. I like to keep my home private apart from close family and friends.

    Regards, Reds
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,672
    Kent
    Hello Reds

    I didn`t regard carers as intrusive, I welcomed them as badly needed help for me.

    By the time I got to that stage I would have opened my house to anyone who offered help.

    I suppose it does depend on the carers though. Those I had were respectful of our home and only glad to help.
     
  3. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    539
    Hertfordshire
    Thanks Grannie G. That's positive. I'm a bit nervous about this subject.

    Reds
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,718
    Female
    Dundee
    #4 Izzy, Feb 22, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2015
    My experience is the same as Sylvia's. Over time you build up trust with them.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,672
    Kent
    Reds, I suppose it really does depend on the carers. I had agency carers , using Direct Payments. I don`t know if I`m out of date by now about available provision but it worked really well for me.

    In my last house I helped care for my neighbour. He has SS carers and they were all lovely, very caring and considerate.

    I`ve only had two not so good experiences. One carer was too young to cope with personal care for my husband and the other was a little intimidating with him and didn`t handle a tricky situation well. On both occasions I asked that these carers didn`t come back, gave the reasons, which were found to be valid,and no hard feelings were experienced.
     
  6. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    There will come a point when you will welcome them with open arms and I have also had nothing but positive experiences with carers. Firstly, from the local council for 6 weeks and now from an agency. You can opt for a system whereas you receive the money and employ someone of your choice, sure someone else will be along soon with more advise, x
     
  7. carer21

    carer21 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2014
    30
    Hello. I understand your caution. I too was very wary of accepting people into the house. However once I'd taken the plunge I was very grateful for the support and found carers very respectful of our home. I did not go out at first until I felt comfortable leaving them in the house but they quite understood my caution and now I can go out for myself when they come. Remember you matter too!
     
  8. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,718
    Female
    Dundee
    I use direct payments so employ our own carers. They are a godsend.
     
  9. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    539
    Hertfordshire
    Thanks for the replies.

    How is it best to employ carers and I guess expensive?

    Yes, its another change so something else to get used to.

    Reds
     
  10. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    290
    London
    I have a carer for dad via an agency at £16 per hour for companionship. I simply couldn't cope otherwise. I was beyond caring about the house and who entered it.
    We have had the same carer since last August. Continuity is key.
    Take care
     
  11. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    Agree with responses so far. It does take a bit of getting used to - handing over the caring to someone who is, to start with, a stranger and having that stranger in your home. But there are all sorts of way more disturbing things you have to get used to once dementia strikes.:(

    Of course, you need to know that you can trust the person you allow into your home. You should be able to trust someone from an agency but you can also find reliable people by asking around - for example, from people you meet at memory/dementia cafes etc.

    It's not cheap but is a perfectly acceptable way of using Disability Living Allowance/Attendance Allowance/Personal Independence Payments.
     
  12. Pegsdaughter

    Pegsdaughter Registered User

    Oct 7, 2014
    129
    London
    We found that as mum had always had a cleaner upgrading to a carer was easier than if she had not been used to someone coming into the house on a regular basis.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  13. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042
    I knew what was happening to me when my symptoms started, and knew I needed help but I also very much didn't want it. I still don't but it is a necessity. I expressed all this to the HH and told her it is not personal . Resistance to having carers is seen by some professionals as a failure to acknowledge or engage yet as you say Reds it is 'normal' to not want strangers in your home, but understanding strangers can become friends:)
     
  14. LizzyA

    LizzyA Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    72
    Near Reading
    Carers start from tomorrow for my mum, twice a day for 30 minutes a time plus a one hour laundry/housework visit a week. I am not sure how she will cope but it has reached the stage where not having them isn't an option. I hope that this will help manage the situation, keep her safe and me sane! We have gone via social services (mum is self-funding). X
     
  15. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    539
    Hertfordshire
    Thanks for replies. I am pleased to hear a satisfactory feedback so far.

    Reds
     

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