Experience Required

[mamarosa]

I have just got back from seeing Nan and I have a few worries I am hoping some of you may be able to help with.

Nan is still not eating, she says she is but I know she isn't. That lovely little woman is wasting away before my eyes but no matter how much encouragement she has she is still not eating. Her fluid intake is slowly diminishing too. She can just about manage half a tea cup of drink each time but surely this can't be enough? She is barely drinking water either. The carers are concerned that her pads have been clean and dry for a couple of days. When I take her to the toilet at night though, she always has a wee. I do not think they are taking her when they visit, nothing is said in the book. I know she says she's not hungry but how can she not be? She weighs about 6stone 5. Is there anything else I can do to get her to eat?

Nan looked really tired tonight and struggled to keep her eyes open. She is very pale
I have noticed some large bruises appeared on the back of her leg and one on her thigh. Why is she getting these? I wonder if I need to request the GP to do a home visit? There is no motivation for anything, she has stopped reading and watching television and I really am petrified she is going to waste away in that bed. She won't sit in the chair and the anti-depressants seem to have had no effect.

Tonight I lost a little hope that my Nan is ever going to improve.

On a high note though, she did say my name tonight for the first time in months. It felt awesome

 

[Teanosugar]

I have just got back from seeing Nan and I have a few worries I am hoping some of you may be able to help with.

Nan is still not eating, she says she is but I know she isn't. That lovely little woman is wasting away before my eyes but no matter how much encouragement she has she is still not eating. Her fluid intake is slowly diminishing too. She can just about manage half a tea cup of drink each time but surely this can't be enough? She is barely drinking water either. The carers are concerned that her pads have been clean and dry for a couple of days. When I take her to the toilet at night though, she always has a wee. I do not think they are taking her when they visit, nothing is said in the book. I know she says she's not hungry but how can she not be? She weighs about 6stone 5. Is there anything else I can do to get her to eat?

Nan looked really tired tonight and struggled to keep her eyes open. She is very pale
I have noticed some large bruises appeared on the back of her leg and one on her thigh. Why is she getting these? I wonder if I need to request the GP to do a home visit? There is no motivation for anything, she has stopped reading and watching television and I really am petrified she is going to waste away in that bed. She won't sit in the chair and the anti-depressants seem to have had no effect.

Tonight I lost a little hope that my Nan is ever going to improve.

On a high note though, she did say my name tonight for the first time in months. It felt awesome

I would request that home visit, at least to try to make your gran comfortable and get her nutrition a little better. It is not nice to say this, but with dementia, it does not get any better, we just learn to cope with it better. There is no cure, it is a degenerative condition, and many people do lose appetite and stop eating and drinking. Perhaps a fortisips nutrition type of food would help, it can be hard for people with dementia to swallow, its is one of the reflexes that can go, and I have found with other people after strokes etc that getting them to suck from a bottle like the Fruit Shoot bottles can be helpful, it apparently helps the swallow reflex when sucked, this came from a dietician.

Sometimes with dementia people can "forget" how to read, maybe TV is confusing to her, we just dont know what is going on in their minds with this horrible condition. As for the bruises, it could be a medical condition, but it could also be that carers are being rough, so this should be checked on, most carers are wonderful, but there are some who should not be doing this kind of work!

Your nan may think she is eating, I ask my dad sometimes have you had your tea, knowing it is still there, and he says yes I have, he mixes up previous days, in
fact he mixes up most things now.

To sum it up, just keep loving her, advocating for her the best you can, but keep realistic, dementia just does not improve, medical conditions might, but the dementia keeps on rolling. x

 

[ggma]

I also think you should ask the GP for a home visit, unexplained brusing should always be investigated. You would also probably feel better if you could discuss the fluid and not eating with GP, although it is surprising how little people need to just survive. MIL lived on very small amounts of fluid and a a daily yoghurt for a long time.

I think that as dementia progresses the concentration needed to follow a TV programme goes, and the same applies to bookes and mags.

I think you should ask day time carers to assist your Nan to the loo as you do, if she is spending a lot of time in bed the walk in an upright postion may help her, and will relieve pressure on her skin as she is re settled.

You are doing a great job, all the best

 

[jude50]

My Mum too has lost her appetite and i have to pursaude her to eat and drink. She does now prefer sweet tastes so she has sugar in her tea and I have to do soft food as well but I do have to prompt her. I would too ask for a home visit just to give your nan a once over and to put your mind at rest. Keep strong you are doing a great job caring

Jude

 

[eastiesgir]

Mum doesn't really eat much either. I bought her some complan drinks as my thoughts were they had some vitamins etc in at the very least. Mum as it happened loved them! She is now a milkshake and yoghurt drink fanatic!! Not ideal, but it's something. Have you tried eating with her? I find that mum will eat more if we sat eating together and just sort of chatted about bits and bobs and she sort of copied me eating. I know it doesn't work for everyone (it sometimes didn't work for me) but it may be worth a try.
Mum is in a carehome now and she has put a little weight on (not huge amounts) as she does eat with the others.

 

[SussexDave]

Been there, still there

Dear mamarosa,

I have had the same experience with my mum, she became dehydrated and her weight fell to a little over 5 stone.

I agree with others when they say you should call in the doctor but would recommend that you ask him/her about supplements, these are available as "milkshakes" and provide nutrition in a concentrated form. Mum gained weight very quickly using the supplements and is now back to 7 stone (one more to go to reach the nutritionists target).

If your nan won't drink water may I suggest lemonade, if you buy the sugar containing variety this gives your nan calories in addition to increasing her fluid intake. This worked well with mum.

Keep trying to persuade your nan to eat and drink as the thirst and hunger reflexes don't always seem to work.

Hope this is helpful