Exhausted Magic

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Perhaps we could set up a "my worst Christmas" thread!

The first year Jan was at the home, while I visited Jan to be there for the Christmas lunch, the false gaiety of the day left me really down and all I ate all day was two fried eggs.
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear All,

Our worst Xmas was when my parents moved in to the close care accommodation and we were invited over to the Nursing Home for an 11am sherry party.

All the patients were assembled in wheel chairs or wobbling about on seats and were duly given a glass of sherry and a pot plant. We arrived and my Mother said 'God, what are we doing here with all these poor old people' and refused to join in. I had to take my parents back to their apartment and then go and apologise to the staff. It was utterly dismal.

Jude
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Of course, it is a real problem for homes to do anything vaguely appropriate for their residents, who vary greatly in the stages of their condition.

I hate it when they make hats for them and plonk them on their heads. Decorating the home and playing Christmas music is fine of course.

What the residents most value is visits from their relatives - even if they don't quite know who they are.

Generally I wheel Jan into her quiet room where we do what we do every visit throughout the year - crawl around and try and communicate. Activity of others around her just confuses her.
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Brucie,

All the enforced Christmas cheer is excrutiating..... And yes, you've guessed - they were all wearing stupid hats. I felt like bursting in to tears.

My parents had only moved in 10 days beforehand and I felt utterly appalled. Instead of having lunch with everyone else, I reorganised things so that we had Xmas lunch together in the apartment and a nice walk afterwards before watching the Queen's Speech.

Last year and this year will be SO much different. My parents will have a wonderful day with Carole, Glyn and their family, as well as my brother - about a dozen expected for lunch. Loads of presents, great food and plenty of people to talk with.

I really hope you and Jan manage to have a quiet and loving Xmas together too and that Jan is aware of part of it too. It must be a very sad time for you Brucie.

Jude xxx
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
Dear Brucie and Jude

There's no doubt about it Christmas was a rough one. But sure here we all are facing another!

And on we go.
 

Kriss

Registered User
May 20, 2004
513
Shropshire
Last Christmas was our worst ever. Mum and I always alternate as hosts but over the last 5 years our numbers have halved from 10 to 5. I thought the previous year when we lost Dad would have been our lowest as he had left us only a couple of weeks before and Mum-in-Law was within weeks of leaving us as well. However the last one was far worse as we first accepted that Aunty had a real problem and it was this ruddy AD problem again! When she packed to go home a couple of days later she held up her presents and asked "what are these?"

I swore we would visit relatives in Oz this year as I couldn't face the thought of a repeat but now we have new difficulties to face up to in how will Aunt cope in the home. Its' too far for her (and us) to make a round trip on the day and I know she would get terribly upset anyway (as she did on her last stay before she deteriorated so rapidly).

One way or another we're going to be miserable as hell - a nearly empty table or the guilt trip or both.

Still wish I could whisk Mum off to Oz - she deserves it - but it ain't gonna happen. Can we cancel Christmas please?

Baa Humbug and all that...
Kriss
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Kriss
as far as I'm concerned christmas was cancelled some years back.
It's no fun is it buying and wrapping your own present and then pretending it's a lovely surprise.
Buying a present for Peg and then she asks who bought me this?
It's vouchers for the sons,daughter in law and grand kids and glad when it's all over.
Norman
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
Norman, we've been doing the:"Is it Christmas, who bought me that?" routine for the past 4 years, you'd think we'd have caught on mum had dementia or something then wouldn't you? But no, not us!

I feel really sad writing my own Christmas card. Dad has never done that side of things so I've kept a few from the past few Christmases with mum's writing. She always did the," to the best daughter in the whole world we love you very much" etc. You can't really write that yourself can you? She still says it to me sometimes, I'm luckier than most. As I said in the poem, that dementia boy won't get wee mummy's heart.
 

storm

Registered User
Aug 10, 2004
269
notts
Dear Magic, You would have thought we would have questioned why mum was sending me cards with trains on but we just laughed it off. She was always one for remembering everyones birthday and buying cards months in advance now she cant even write on them its so sad,but if i forget to look in her birthday book and forget any of the sons or familys birhday they never shut up about it,why they would want a card which is purchased and wrote on by me i have no idea why cant they just send cards to themselves same as i have to do. Anyway baa humbugs to you lot i am going to make the most of christmas i am not going to let this A/D take over! storm
 

Mjaqmac

Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
939
I plan to make the most of it too this year Storm. That's if we are all still standing! I don't like to look too far ahead.
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear All,

Can you imagine Christmas in Oz? It's 35 degrees in the shade and dripping with sweat, you drag yourself into the shopping centre.... Here's poor old Father Christmas half dead with heat exhaustion and baking to death in a red suit and a funny beard. And all around are screaming kids and the awful piped musac tunes belting out 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas'.....

You have to be joking.......

Jude
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
The last holiday Jan and I had in our favourite destination, the Caribbean, we were in Jamaica. It was mid December as we left and they were playing reggae carols on the bus as we went to the airport.

Somehow it seemed just right, though the Christmas decorations in the palm trees looked rather weird.
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dea Brucie,

It's great to see if you aren't in serious Xmas shopping mode and have to live with it. Casurina Cental Shopping Square, Darwin, is the last place on Earth that you'd want to be on Christmas Eve, believe me.

Jude
 

Jude

Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
2,287
66
Tully, Qld, Australia
Dear Kriss,

This Xmas I will be in Cairns on Holloways Beach at 35 degrees. Will be thinking of you. I was going to stay at Flamboyant, but since we have no bookings and my friends have insisted I go to Cairns, then I shall do so.

jude
 

storm

Registered User
Aug 10, 2004
269
notts
Dear Chesca, I think that is a really beautiful idea and it made me think of my own mum who has been dead for 23yrs and i still miss her so much and every christmas has been a little sad thinking of her, but you have made me see it in a differant light so i am going to celebrate her time on earth even though it was to short and remember the good times she gave to me.My mum in law used to love christmas mainly the presents part but now she has A/D its all a bit to much for her but i am going to make sure she enjoys it as best she can.So bring on the tinsel and jingle bells im ready. storm