Every cloud.....


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya all,
I was a bit fed up after Christmas, when dad phoned to say that they had decided to put mum to bed in an afternoon, rather than sitting in her chair, as they were concerned about her getting a sore. Felt like another nail in the coffin.

So now she goes to bed about 2pm, and they get her up again at about 4.30pm.
But what a difference - now when dad visits she has her eyes open mainly and is far more smiley and making more vocal sounds - last night it sounded as though she said 'oh yes' when dad asked if she would like a chocolate. Rather than eating her tea in a lounge, with dad perched on the arm of the chair, they sit together in her room (there are two armchairs), and listen to CD's (dad selects what he is going to take up each evening) or he puts the TV on - they've been watching Morse this week. It is so much better, because in the privacy of the room dad can be himself again - he sings to mum (Ow! Mum's poor ears) - he can show affection in a way that he could not downstairs. Dad wouldn't make a 'fuss' and ask them to take mum upstairs - thank God they became worried about her skin (the sore hasn't materialised), because dad seems much happier with how things are now.

Just thought I'd share that.
Love Helen


Registered User
Aug 3, 2006
East Yorkshire
good news

Hi, that's such a nice thing to hear, I sure you all feel a little happier. I don't know your situation but i'm sure you are feeling better now with the circumstances and I'm sure your dads' singing can't be that bad ! Good to hear something positive


Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Helen, What a reassuring post. How good to hear the benefits of a very individual care plan. What a pleasure for your father too, to be able to visit under easier circumstances. Love Sylvia x


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
Hi Helen,

Isn't it strange how something changes, and we expect it's for the worse, and then it brings a surprising up-turn in circumstances! Great to hear about the benefits of the afternoon rest for your Mum and the bonus for your Dad.

love Hazel.


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
How lovely that it has worked out well. I love the idea of your Dad singing to your Mum and he can obviously only feel free to do that in the privacy of their own room. I bet he sounds like Pavorotti to your Mum (spelling does not look right!).
Great to hear positive threads at such a miserable time of the year.
Best wishes Beckyjan
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Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
It must be a great comfort to your mum, that she can still spend private time with your dad.............i would think it means a great deal to you too!

Love Alex x


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Helen, what a lovely post. It's so nice that your Mum and Dad can spend some time together in private, with your Mum so alert.

It sounds like the perfect compromise, having time time togerther like at home, but with professional care for your Mum.

I'm sure they both enjoy the singing.



Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
Hi Helen

What a lovely post. It sounds like both your mum and dad are gaining the benefit (well, depending on the standard of your dad's singing, I suppose). :D


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Isn't it funny - I ve just reread what I wrote, and all your lovely comments - and I realise what a lovely picture I have painted. The thing is, if anyone else were to look into the room, they would see a very sick lady, totally unable to help herself, who occasionally smiles at those with her. We are so lucky, those of us that see through eyes of love.
Love Helen


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Helen
that really is a lovely post.....gives me much hope for the future
Thank you:)
Love Wendy xx


Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
Newport, Gwent
Hi Helen

Its obvious that your dad is enjoying the privates time with your mum, I expect that he can imagine for a little while that they are home together, and that must mean the world to both of them. You sound a lot happier too, which is fantastic.:)



Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Amy, your dear mum and dad, in many ways, sound like Lionel and me.

We sit in his roon, after we have had lunch with everyone else on the dementia wing, and then..................we let rip. Opera, Elvis. Cole Porter, Robbie Williams, Louis Armstrong, Rod Stewart..........whatever takes our fancy.

I sit, with my feet up on his lap, and we let the music take over.
There have to be some "plus's" in this life