Hi
I’m new to the group so apologies for any mistakes. My Dad is 91 and has recently been admitted to a care home with dementia. Briefly he has been married 4 times and I do not get on with his his current wife and her children. The question of care fees has cropped up and social services have apparently told his wife that he should remain in the care home but they haven’t come to an agreement on how much they will contribute to it.
A couple of months ago I asked his wife if she had POA and she shouted at me that she didn’t need it, she was his wife and she was still here!!! I knew there was a difference between next of kin and POA but kept my mouth shut!!
Anyway things moved on and I have been able to keep my mouth shut for the sake of my Dad who now has some good days and some bad days, but I don’t think he has enough capacity to agree to a POA currently.
On Friday I had a text message from my step sister telling me that in 1997 when they made their will they had also signed an everlasting power of attorney and that Dad had signed to allow his wife and also his step daughter to act on his behalf if needed.
She then told me that she had forgotten all about it and that the EPOA had never been registered with the Court Of Protection, she said they needed to do this without delay as his wife needed to complete a financial assessment for the social services to determine the share of care fees.
She sent me a photograph of the document which does show what she claimed. She told me that the law had changed now to LPOA and that she needed me and my 4 children to sign a form agreeing to them being able to have POA over my Dads finances.
I couldn’t understand this at all as it had just suddenly appeared and has never been mentioned before!!
I am his only biological child, and because of historical incidents have no trust in his wife or her children.
So my questions are:-
1. Why do they need my and my children’s signatures on forms which appear to me to be application for LPOA when they already have it on a document made in 1997.
2. Is the 1997 document even still legal without having been registered with the court of protection and also the document has the incorrect address - it refers to No.1 and their house is No.27 it also claims the step daughter was also living there when at that time she was teaching in London.
I have informed my step sister that neither I or my children are signing any legal document without knowing 100% it’s implications, she has not replied since - other than to say her mother does not need our permission to handle dads finances but there must be some reason they want us to sign these forms surely? I might just be a little paranoid here but we are talking about a lady who deliberately put a password on at the hospital to prevent me or his grandchildren from asking about his progress., but is now emphatically denying it despite me checking with the hospital who arranged the password and why? She claims the hospital made her do it because they said I kept phoning and my attitude was obnoxious, when I never had a cross word with any of the staff there, and this person also left me two vile aggressive voicemails which I still have.
I’ve said she doesn’t need our consent to complete the financial assessment for social services. She is still insisting we sign these forms and I cannot think why we need to. I don’t deny that his wife was a natural choice for the EPOA but I do object to her daughter having it as well because she has history of not being able to manage money and my Dad has bailed her out numerous times.
Am I just being paranoid here or is this just common practice? I could do with a quick response please or they will be asking me again tomorrow!!
Thanks for any help or guidance you may be able to offer us, it will be very much appreciated, and sorry for the length of this post.
I’m new to the group so apologies for any mistakes. My Dad is 91 and has recently been admitted to a care home with dementia. Briefly he has been married 4 times and I do not get on with his his current wife and her children. The question of care fees has cropped up and social services have apparently told his wife that he should remain in the care home but they haven’t come to an agreement on how much they will contribute to it.
A couple of months ago I asked his wife if she had POA and she shouted at me that she didn’t need it, she was his wife and she was still here!!! I knew there was a difference between next of kin and POA but kept my mouth shut!!
Anyway things moved on and I have been able to keep my mouth shut for the sake of my Dad who now has some good days and some bad days, but I don’t think he has enough capacity to agree to a POA currently.
On Friday I had a text message from my step sister telling me that in 1997 when they made their will they had also signed an everlasting power of attorney and that Dad had signed to allow his wife and also his step daughter to act on his behalf if needed.
She then told me that she had forgotten all about it and that the EPOA had never been registered with the Court Of Protection, she said they needed to do this without delay as his wife needed to complete a financial assessment for the social services to determine the share of care fees.
She sent me a photograph of the document which does show what she claimed. She told me that the law had changed now to LPOA and that she needed me and my 4 children to sign a form agreeing to them being able to have POA over my Dads finances.
I couldn’t understand this at all as it had just suddenly appeared and has never been mentioned before!!
I am his only biological child, and because of historical incidents have no trust in his wife or her children.
So my questions are:-
1. Why do they need my and my children’s signatures on forms which appear to me to be application for LPOA when they already have it on a document made in 1997.
2. Is the 1997 document even still legal without having been registered with the court of protection and also the document has the incorrect address - it refers to No.1 and their house is No.27 it also claims the step daughter was also living there when at that time she was teaching in London.
I have informed my step sister that neither I or my children are signing any legal document without knowing 100% it’s implications, she has not replied since - other than to say her mother does not need our permission to handle dads finances but there must be some reason they want us to sign these forms surely? I might just be a little paranoid here but we are talking about a lady who deliberately put a password on at the hospital to prevent me or his grandchildren from asking about his progress., but is now emphatically denying it despite me checking with the hospital who arranged the password and why? She claims the hospital made her do it because they said I kept phoning and my attitude was obnoxious, when I never had a cross word with any of the staff there, and this person also left me two vile aggressive voicemails which I still have.
I’ve said she doesn’t need our consent to complete the financial assessment for social services. She is still insisting we sign these forms and I cannot think why we need to. I don’t deny that his wife was a natural choice for the EPOA but I do object to her daughter having it as well because she has history of not being able to manage money and my Dad has bailed her out numerous times.
Am I just being paranoid here or is this just common practice? I could do with a quick response please or they will be asking me again tomorrow!!
Thanks for any help or guidance you may be able to offer us, it will be very much appreciated, and sorry for the length of this post.