Been hanging around here for a long time now ...at least 12 years, but have tried to help others if I have the experience to comment. Cared for my Mum for all of this time, living with us, but we placed her into emi care 2 years ago. We were unable to manage her problems, mostly during the night, the emi were unable to manage her problems which became 24/7 on admission and now she is in behavioural support unit - who are having big problems with non-cooperation. She is deteriorating. Mum is still aware. I do not believe that her dementia state has changed that much since she left us, two years ago, but torment due to the move (s) has done a lot of damage. I know that this disease is progressive, but how can I reconcile myself to the fact that I believe that had I not sent her away, she would not be so tormented, would still have full appetite? My instinct is that this is no major progression, rather she is reacting to her circumstances. She is still compliant for me, on the whole. Different and increasing meds are tried, without effect of evening out her mood. She becomes stupified but the torment remains. Can this, IS this, due to continuing awareness? Could she, WOULD she do better back with us? She is not eating/drinking, and not allowing staff to care for her. For two years. As I ask this, I do wonder how I could possibly manage all this at home now. Is there someone out there that can recognise my own torment? Is there anybody out there who knows what I mean? I simply cannot carry this worry any longer.