Ever had a falling out with your (pwd's) carers?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by myss, Jun 24, 2018.

  1. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    348
    #1 myss, Jun 24, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2018
    I believe the 'falling out' led to them making reporting my siblings and I to the council's Adult Social Services about concerns with my dad's welfare. This is a bit of long story but I'll try keep it short.

    The report wasn't from the (private) carers themselves, it was their management, most likely the director who has never met my dad or been to his house. We felt some time ago she wasn't as friendly as originally thought but, as we had little contact with her, and the care manager and carers we were using were great, we continued with the care group's services. But one by one the manager, the main carer and her stand-in all left the care group in a space of three months.

    One concern raised was that we were locking him in his house. We do lock his porch door as he has a habit of wandering and we have tried all the trackers, alarms, etc which don't work. Unless someone is in his porch to stop and advise him to not to go on his own, he'll walk until the cold air 'wakes him up' and he gets upset at having 'found' himself outside.

    However the report did not mention that my dad was the one who came up with the idea, has keys to the same porch door, and that there are two other ways he has to leave his house in an emergency, so when I informed the Social Services of this and showed them the email I sent to the care group months before their report telling all this and they expressed no concern in reply, Social Services were surprised and commented that it was the second baseless report that investigated that day. .

    This was one of three concerns they raised. The first was back in March 2018 and when Social Services asked them for details, Social Services realised that it was that pointless that they didn't even contact us.

    I can tell anyone we have bent over backwards to look after dad and don't resent doing so. The only reason we can think of the director taking this step was because we weren't making that much money for her. We only use private care to fill in when a family member is not available to take care of dad and that had been two weekday evenings up to March this year when we wanted to cut that down to 1 weekday evening. When I informed the care group of this, the director said a term of contract states what we wanted went below their minimum care provision. Unfortunately for her there's a couple of us in the family who studied Law and we had read all the boring contract terms and asked her to point out where it said that. She couldn't and had to concede that she couldn't legally enforce a non-contact term on us like that.

    This and other issues such as carers turning up a totally different time to what was agreed or it was different carer turning up instead of the one we were informed of, and the high standard of care we were paying for had dropped etc led to a complaint we made to them.

    And we got the apologies and so on, then they replaced the new main carer, who we said we liked, with one who was not as experienced. Then due to an innocent mix-up we made which was corrected in about 10-20 minutes, another report was made to Social Services last month which included the point about the locking..

    I have no problem about a care group's duty to care to report safeguarding concerns to the council, but they knew or must have know that this was not a genuine concern and thankfully we were able to prove this to the council.

    Can't wait to June to finish. Not only has it been a chaotic month but it is also the end of the contract we had with this care group. So have you had had any falling out worse than that??!
     
  2. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,384
    Kent
    I tried live in care for dad after looking after him in his own home and before he became too vulnerable as a disastrous live in care highlighted when NH expertise was necessary. However I did have to complain and terminate on the spot a carer who fell way below professional standards and good practice care for dad. This wasn't done lightly as I had to then immediately step back into live in care with an OH in our home undergoing cancer treatment so because of risk of infection from dad's poor toileting habits I couldn't risk moving him in with us.The care manager also the owner initially defended the carer following a brief phone from me and her several phone calls to him from the bedroom before she was collected. However I followed this up with a full written account and that I was so concerned about her behaviour in case she was sent elsewhere I would be reporting the matter to CQC. He interviewed the carer and although it took him 10 days to come to this conclusion....he apologised after initially telling me it was just a clash of personality with me and trying to brush it off...that he had suspended her and that she was bot suited to live in care....so much for their "carefully selected live in carers with vast expertise and training in dementia care"!
     
  3. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,243
    Essex
    Dear Myss,

    I don't have experience of this but I do have experience of dad being described as 'vilent' by a carer following which the care manager phoned up the next day to say that dad was not violent but that he was verbally aggressive. Dad of course is a sickman but that said you can use two agencies and perhaps you could try a daycentre or ask (see Father's Day) a local care home about taking your dad during the day.

    Good luck

    MaNaAk
     
  4. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    348
    Sorry to hear that you had a bad experience too. I did the very same thing in an email and copied it to the same people in Social Services who was doing the investigating and to the care group's head office.

    @MaNaAk - thank you for your suggestions. Dad already goes to a day centre plus has a family member with him every morning, evening and night (at times the whole day) except for the one weekday evening where we've used a carer to come and look after him.

    We are going to use another care group having explained to them that if they have an issue of any sort to please ask us first in case they've got the wrong idea/assumption. Shame really as the carers themselves were decent enough, it's their management that was the problem.
     
  5. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,243
    Essex
    Dear Myss,

    Good luck with the new care group. The good news is that dad will be spending at least two days a week in the care home during the day. The bad news is that the new care company sent a male carer in today and told me that I had asked for a male carer! I did not ask for a male carer and I suggested the opposite! Dad was aggressive towards the carers before going into respite and the respite was supposed to give me a break and allow dad to get used to being with other people but now I am back to square one with the care company. I realise that eventually dad will need full-time care but in the meantime I was hoping to save some money and try to keep the roof over my head. The house should have been signed over to me years ago but I did not know this possible at the time and neither did dad.

    MaNaAk
     
  6. sah

    sah Registered User

    Apr 20, 2009
    332
    Dorset
    I may be wrong...but on your last point-I thought a house could be disregarded from a financial assessment if a relative over 60 lived in it ( sorry-don't know your age!)? May be worth checking if this applies to yourself?
     
  7. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    1,293
    Female
    South of the Border
    Our care Agency Management team are an absolute shambles - they have even sent carers to 'peg feed' my OH - when he eats perfectly normally but has a stoma!

    The worse thing so far is that SS finished their contract with the care agency for 5 hour a week respite, and instead of billing SS - the care agency sent me a bill for £338 for a contract that does not exist! I phoned them 3 weeks ago, and asked for 1) an apology 2) confirmation that I am not expected to pay it 2) an explanation as to why they thought they could make a contract with me - without me knowing about it.

    So far, no response.

    Phoned Direct Payments to tell them what had happened and the lady had a really good laugh - she couldn't believe it - she was me to contact the CQC which I have done!

    Carers don't need this
     
  8. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,243
    Essex
    Thankyou both of you! I'm approaching 54 but I have lived here for 36 years and dad is self funding until his savings go below £23500. I will be talking to my adult social care coordinator and I have to admit that going back to the care home for permanent care rather than respite could be just round the corner for dad because I am afraid that I could come home and find that he's attacked the carer. The fees will be expensive and I will do all I can to keep a roof over my head but at least dad will be safe. The thing that annoys me is that when I started with this agency told them that dad gets on better with female carers. On the first visit before dad went into respite they sent a carer who was in her twenties and whilst dad did not shout at her he did say that he prefers male carers (but he has Alzheimers). I spoke to the agency a few days later and told them about our previous care agency where he obviously preferred females (at this point his Alzheimers was moderate). When dad came out of respite I was apprehensive about getting carers back in but at the same time I was also full of hope because he got on so well in the care home so when I saw the male carer at the door my heart sank. This agency listened to the PWD not the carer would you believe it and obviously it is not important to listen to the carer! Don't we have enough on our plates!

    MaNaAk
     
  9. myss

    myss Registered User

    Jan 14, 2018
    348
    OMG :confused:
    @MaNaAk - your care company doing the opposite of what you asked (and likely to have caused the aggravation in your dad) and @maryjoan - fitting your dad with a stoma when he can eat normal AND then billing you instead of the SS.... wow it really does beggers belief!.
     
  10. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    1,243
    Essex
    Dear Myss,

    It certainly does beggar belief! They paid more attention to what my dad was saying knowing that he has Alzheimers now I'm not saying that they shouldn't listen to the PWD but they should pay more attention to the carer and @maryjoan your problems with the care system are unbelievable. Anyway Myss do you think I should take dad down to carer company's office so that they can have a chat with him?!!!!! They could ask him what he wants from them and I know what he would say!
    Anyway dad spent the day chilling out with his friends at the care home and I was able to calm down a little so I hope you've both had a better day.

    MaNaAk
     

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