Events that do not exist?

Cotters

New member
Nov 8, 2020
7
0
My mum had put a note on the calendar today that her sisters were visiting for a cuppa. I phoned her sister who knew nothing about it. Has this happened to anyone else.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Hello @Cotters.

Unfortunately delusions and hallucinations are quite common. It's 'reality' for the person with dementia and I fell it's best to just play along as you are unlikely to be able to persuade the person that they are wrong.

My wife has these symptoms and they are usually harmless. If they are a cause of concern a chat with the GP or Consultant may be of benefit. In my wife's case some alterations in medication helped a little.
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
My husband is often convinced that some friends are coming for dinner or lunch. He is surprised when they don't turn up and complains about how impolite they are. And sometimes the guests are people who have been dead for years.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
5,678
0
Midlands
my Aunt used to go as far as laying up the table. Got quite cross with the people who then didn't turn up- most of whom were long dead
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Yes, mum was convinced that long dead friends and relatives were coming to visit.
The trouble is that their memories are all muddled up and they think that things that happened, and things that were arranged, in the past - maybe even years ago - are happening now.
 

Cotters

New member
Nov 8, 2020
7
0
Thank you all for your replies. Could you also tell me, do you know what stage you think your nearest and dearest are at. ? All of a sudden there seems to be s noticable change. She phones the police most evenings to say I've stolen things but seemed normal during daytime. Daytime suddenly seems to be a confusing time too. I suppose it doesnt really matter though does it.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
She phones the police most evenings to say I've stolen things but seemed normal during daytime.
That sounds like sundowning, which is a period of increased confusion in the evening/night time.

Mum was at about level 5-6 when she started thinking that people were coming to visit when actually they were not, but symptoms do not always start at a precise stage. Some people start symptoms early and some some people start with the same symptoms later.
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
944
0
It's normally me who is invited to dinner (I am unaware of this) and the care home staff very thoughtfully make excuses for me (lockdown being the main one!)
Dad can also talk about things which have happened which are impossible: been to the pub, been to see his mum, etc. I don't really know what stage in numbers he is at but mid, going towards late maybe? He needs constant care.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
My mother thought things were being stolen too, though in mum's case it was her neighbours who were the culprits. She too phoned the police about it on many occasions. They were brilliant, being sympathetic while trying to persuade her to not to keep banging on the neighbours door. Mum once phoned the police to report that her false teeth had been stolen. When she told me about it, she said the policeman was trying not to laugh, while explaining that they were very busy and couldn't send someone to investigate immediately.
As for stages, before it started I was aware that things weren't quite right with mum but she was managing to live completely independently, and obviously hiding a lot of problems from me. She first mentioned stealing in the late summer of 2017, and the delusion escalated very quickly over the next few months. I moved mum to a care home in May 2019, as by that time she was beginning to be a danger to herself and to others, mainly because she started going out drinking with strangers in a local pub, and bought at least one man home. I think mum was in mid to late middle stages during that time. I'd now say she is somewhere in the early to mid later stages.
Does your mum have any help (other than you)?
 

Cotters

New member
Nov 8, 2020
7
0
My mother thought things were being stolen too, though in mum's case it was her neighbours who were the culprits. She too phoned the police about it on many occasions. They were brilliant, being sympathetic while trying to persuade her to not to keep banging on the neighbours door. Mum once phoned the police to report that her false teeth had been stolen. When she told me about it, she said the policeman was trying not to laugh, while explaining that they were very busy and couldn't send someone to investigate immediately.
As for stages, before it started I was aware that things weren't quite right with mum but she was managing to live completely independently, and obviously hiding a lot of problems from me. She first mentioned stealing in the late summer of 2017, and the delusion escalated very quickly over the next few months. I moved mum to a care home in May 2019, as by that time she was beginning to be a danger to herself and to others, mainly because she started going out drinking with strangers in a local pub, and bought at least one man home. I think mum was in mid to late middle stages during that time. I'd now say she is somewhere in the early to mid later stages.
Does your mum have any help (other than you)?
Oh gosh, poor you. We have to laugh I guess. No, she doesn't have help as she presents herself as very 'normal' in assessments, which is really annoying ?I think it will get to that stage soon enough. I hope you're doing ok. Its proper hard sometimes isn't it.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
138,138
Messages
1,993,272
Members
89,794
Latest member
Tori_75