Evenings oh so awful
- Thread starter 1954
- Start date
oh 1954
Too much info
Same with my mil though
If I gave her a tissue the mess would be either down side of her chair along with the food she sticks there or all over the floor
Too much info
Same with my mil though
If I gave her a tissue the mess would be either down side of her chair along with the food she sticks there or all over the floor
Sssshhhhh! Don’t speak too soon but mum has actually fallen asleep on the settee, and it’s 3pm! Bliss. She’s been like a whirling dervish all day ‘tidying’ out her wardrobe because she’s seen the kids ironing their black tie outfits for a ball tonight. I’ll just scoot round quietly and replace all her discarded outfits before she wakes up.
Mum’s the word!
p.s. that damn chicken is on it’s way back in again, hope it doesn’t cluck too much (mum thinks it’s saying “cocoa pops”)
Mum’s the word!
p.s. that damn chicken is on it’s way back in again, hope it doesn’t cluck too much (mum thinks it’s saying “cocoa pops”)
I can relate to a lot of this. My mum obsesses all day long. I don't know where she gets the energy from. I'd love some of the energy for myself.
Definitely agree with darker nights. Roll on the winter.
My mum also has a thing about tissues and loo roll. She stuffs it up her sleeves and it eventually hardens like a plaster cast. If she whacks me with it by accident then I know about it.
Definitely agree with darker nights. Roll on the winter.
My mum also has a thing about tissues and loo roll. She stuffs it up her sleeves and it eventually hardens like a plaster cast. If she whacks me with it by accident then I know about it.
First night roaming
Well last night MIL roamed round the house. I knew this would start at some time but it still came as a shock. She went round the house slamming doors, making such a racket. She must have found her dirty clothes from yesterday because she had ignored all her clean matching clothes and stuck on her smelly ones! I think she must have fiddled with other things as no internet until just now. The Wi fi box had been fiddled with
We are off to Hastings in a while for 2 nights. Agh.............We need a trolley to take everything for her whilst we are travelling light
I will post when I get back on Tuesday as I don't have one of those modern phones which one can do internet on
Well last night MIL roamed round the house. I knew this would start at some time but it still came as a shock. She went round the house slamming doors, making such a racket. She must have found her dirty clothes from yesterday because she had ignored all her clean matching clothes and stuck on her smelly ones! I think she must have fiddled with other things as no internet until just now. The Wi fi box had been fiddled with
We are off to Hastings in a while for 2 nights. Agh.............We need a trolley to take everything for her whilst we are travelling light
I will post when I get back on Tuesday as I don't have one of those modern phones which one can do internet on
Have a great trip 1954, am off to Ireland in the morning for 4 days. Shopping for a fancy horse with someone else’s money! Get in! Will savour my guinness and think of you all
See you soon. X
See you soon. X
1954, Ireland was awesome, and it barely rained! Didn’t get enough guinness but we saw lots of quality horses. Shortlisted 9 and have put offers in on 3. Turns out my friend wants to buy for other folk too. She lives in Canada so it’s cheaper to ship horses in 3’s as that’s how they fit into the plane. You pay for the pallet, so fill it up! The cost is the same for 1 horse or 3 to fly to North America.
Mum managed to whip herself into a frenzy because I upset the routine. Attacked her false teeth with the tin opener, pulled her curtains down and cut them up...you know, the usual stuff
Mum managed to whip herself into a frenzy because I upset the routine. Attacked her false teeth with the tin opener, pulled her curtains down and cut them up...you know, the usual stuff
I'm really sorry you're having a hard time with this- it sounds horrible.
My gran (who lives with us) is similar, although not incontinent of urine, she gets dressed up to go out some evenings and most others will ask over and over again 'Where is my Mum/Dad, I need to go and see them, where do I live, who are you, do I have work tomorrow, who's in the next door house?'.
Also because she cannot understand TV and does not like some of the programmes that we watch she starts running around trying to disrupt things or goes searching for something missing, which we always find in the usual place afterwards. It's exhausting and we can't just have a normal evening!
I hope things are okay for you now and that you have a nice time in Hastings!
I am full of admiration for everyone who has written in on this thread. I thought I had had a difficult time looking after my husband until I read these posts.
He also had a self-contained flat in our house.
I kept all his clean clothes elsewhere, removing his dirty washing every night so he didn't put it back on again. That made a difference.
He had his own tv and music and we did not share evenings together, hadn't for many years anyway. Having time to oneself is incredibly important isn't it.
Latterly, I had a heavy door fitted preventing access to the rest of the house and explained every night it would be locked for his own safety to keep him out of the kitchen. It meant I didn't have the nighttime walking into my bedroom also, and I could have guests stay in the house. He banged on it initially but it was still an improvement.My GP let me have a small supply of sleeping tablets for years to help me drop off at quiet times.
All exits were locked all day eventually, as he could be gone in a flash. I found this very difficult as I missed the garden.
I checked him in the night regularly, mopping up recently. Put down all floors of laminate or vinyl in his flat.
I was advised to get a bright toilet seat to encourage use but that made no odds. Anyone want a scarlet loo seat?
Everyone's probably thought of all these things anyway.
The only thing that made it possible for me to continue for4 years was MH going to a wonderful day centre 3 days a week. They were brilliant. AlzhScot helped with a visit too, and another local charity. We have no family or friends anywhere near.
I think carers should get payment from the LA or their relative should be allowed to pay them. The effort some people put in is superhuman. Don't know how you do it.
L
He also had a self-contained flat in our house.
I kept all his clean clothes elsewhere, removing his dirty washing every night so he didn't put it back on again. That made a difference.
He had his own tv and music and we did not share evenings together, hadn't for many years anyway. Having time to oneself is incredibly important isn't it.
Latterly, I had a heavy door fitted preventing access to the rest of the house and explained every night it would be locked for his own safety to keep him out of the kitchen. It meant I didn't have the nighttime walking into my bedroom also, and I could have guests stay in the house. He banged on it initially but it was still an improvement.My GP let me have a small supply of sleeping tablets for years to help me drop off at quiet times.
All exits were locked all day eventually, as he could be gone in a flash. I found this very difficult as I missed the garden.
I checked him in the night regularly, mopping up recently. Put down all floors of laminate or vinyl in his flat.
I was advised to get a bright toilet seat to encourage use but that made no odds. Anyone want a scarlet loo seat?
Everyone's probably thought of all these things anyway.
The only thing that made it possible for me to continue for4 years was MH going to a wonderful day centre 3 days a week. They were brilliant. AlzhScot helped with a visit too, and another local charity. We have no family or friends anywhere near.
I think carers should get payment from the LA or their relative should be allowed to pay them. The effort some people put in is superhuman. Don't know how you do it.
L
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Hi. I'm recently starting this journey with my mum and am not able to help in much at all. If my goodwill support is helpful then you, and all on this forum have that at all times. I get a lot of ideas and inspiration from these posts that help me to prepare for 'yets'.
One thing I can think of is the colour of the toilet seat. Perhaps even colour in general.
The parts of the eye that reacts to or notices red tends to switch off when it's dark. Blue is a colour more easily seen in dark. Perhaps generally blue, perhaps even florescent blue, can be more easily perceived rather than the red spectrum as it tends to become black, particularly a deep dark red.
Cheers, and be happy.
One thing I can think of is the colour of the toilet seat. Perhaps even colour in general.
The parts of the eye that reacts to or notices red tends to switch off when it's dark. Blue is a colour more easily seen in dark. Perhaps generally blue, perhaps even florescent blue, can be more easily perceived rather than the red spectrum as it tends to become black, particularly a deep dark red.
Cheers, and be happy.
Austin's mum, isn't funny how ones perspective changes in our situation. You say 'usual stuff', not sure how usual it would be to my friends etc but we say you know all the usual stuff! MIL has cut the nets in her bedroom. We can't be bothered to replace them as she will only do it again
You said you are buying horses???? Oh I love horses. I was an avid rider when I was younger. Loved show jumping etc but then I got married and it was out of the question due to financial reasons. I went back again about 7 years ago when I was 51 and again absolutely loved it. I never went out just rode inside to make things safe due to my age. I lost loads of weight too. But then I had a horse I had never ridden and should have refused because when cantering I was well and truly thrown. Apparently I was unconscious for about 10 minutes. They called 999 obviously. I got away with just breaking my arm and shoulder in 5 places. I had all the safety gear on known to mankind thankfully
So now I don't ride anymore unfortunately
Lowlander I think you do a grand job. I have to lock all the doors here too. We have the French windows open but the gate has a lock on it so we know MIL is safe and not roaming the streets when she doesn't know this address!
Hastings was an absolute disaster
Never again. MIL was so so so confused. Routine had gone which I thought maybe a problem but didn't realise it would be so horrendous! The only good things was we went to The Pilot in Dungeness and had fish and chips which was gorgeous BUT everyone was staring at MIL due to the way she was eating i.e. stuffing and mean stuffing the food in her mouth. She had finished and started to get ready to leave and we had literally just started our food (and we are fast eaters too)! We 'stare' into space and try to pretend we are unaware of things. Mind you we starting to 'not bat an eyelid' to it nowGorgeous day again here xx
There was so much to read here.
I never could sleep very well when I was looking after MH at home. Now that he is a NH, going to hospital tomorrow, I still can't sleep! Reason? I have discovered TP and it is addictive. If only I had found it 5 years ago.
Perhaps it's not relevant here. I loved putting MH to bed at night. It was the nicest time of the day often.
He could help in undressing himself then. It was often straight after dinner at 6pm, sometimes even before!, I put on a favourite CD, sat on his bed, talked about how I thought he might be needing to rest his troubled mind, ( he rarely spoke for years), how rest restores, sometimes not trying to make sense might be the way to go. The body needs rest as well as the mind... And so on. I can remember my mother saying some of these things from my childhood.
That I would pop in and out for the next few hours, be in the house always etc.
As I say, probably not the least bit helpful for some carers here who have much more difficult situations to cope with.
Perhaps I am choosing to remember the good bits. The times when I actually tried to be helpful. Many times I was pretty useless and worse.
I never could sleep very well when I was looking after MH at home. Now that he is a NH, going to hospital tomorrow, I still can't sleep! Reason? I have discovered TP and it is addictive. If only I had found it 5 years ago.
Perhaps it's not relevant here. I loved putting MH to bed at night. It was the nicest time of the day often.
He could help in undressing himself then. It was often straight after dinner at 6pm, sometimes even before!, I put on a favourite CD, sat on his bed, talked about how I thought he might be needing to rest his troubled mind, ( he rarely spoke for years), how rest restores, sometimes not trying to make sense might be the way to go. The body needs rest as well as the mind... And so on. I can remember my mother saying some of these things from my childhood.
That I would pop in and out for the next few hours, be in the house always etc.
As I say, probably not the least bit helpful for some carers here who have much more difficult situations to cope with.
Perhaps I am choosing to remember the good bits. The times when I actually tried to be helpful. Many times I was pretty useless and worse.
Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that! It was just your description of bed time. I loved it. Hope you are ok. x
Well MIL now doesn't go to bed until she's ready to go. I am not sure if it is because it is so light and bright. Thankfully hubby and I either sit in the garden or go up stairs. She seems ok and has even managed to turn off the TV a couple of times! I have no idea what the winter will bring but I hope she goes back to going to her bedroom at 8pm again
