Help, I am the sister, to a lady going through a diagnosis for early onset alzheimers, she has a difficult relationship with her husband and has two distant adult children. Despite considerable effort on my part to get her husband on side, he is not supporting her and still operating in a very selfish way, leading to her disassociating as a coping strategy in situations where she has no control, exacerbating her memory problems. The NHS are reluctant to offer her long term counselling because with the exception of me she lacks the self support and environmental support to embark on the therapeutic journey and - dare I say it - with the potential outcome of ending her relationship. Despite my wish to be boundaried about the situation,hoping her children will step into the breach, when asked who she wants to be her next of kin, despite her significant cognitive issues she says she wants me to do it.Having been through a similar situation with my mother and step father( where I seemed to have responsibility but no mandate) and having recently left an abusive relationship myself I am struggling with my own personal issues and the 'herding cats' nature of trying to manage her husband, I am really struggling.Having been in this situation twice , I am assuming others have been on the same path , so am seeking some advice/ solace/ empathy. If the NHS say no to long term therapy due to the possible consequences of it , should I do the same? And how do I deal with that, knowing my sister's desire for me to take care of her - how do I make the decision between a rock and a hard place for a person who cannot make her needs known ?