• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

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    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Estranged sister

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
Hi can anyone tell me how long an estranged member of the family has to be estranged before they have no rights our sister hasn't had anything to do with our family for 30 years she knew my dad was ill and died and never got in touch im just wondering if when mums gone will she be able to come along and claim her share if mum hasn't made a will D not get me wrong there won't be pots of money and I have everything I need and will probably give my share to my brother who is divorced with two children and shall we say struggles a bit just need to know where I stand if she did turn up .
The thing is mum mentioned her the other day and I'm thinking that mum may start to mention her a lot more as her AD progresses and I don't know how I will handle that one x
 

Adcat

Registered User
Jun 15, 2014
289
London
So sorry, I have no idea. Citizens advice may be able to help. I can only imagine the stress your going through.
From a self indulgent perspective I take heart in other peoples family drama as my own is quite awful too. One sibling turns up every 3-4 months to have a gawp and disappears after 5 minutes literally. This sibling takes takes takes but never gives!
I think your wise to be prepared.
Take care
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,962
Brixham Devon
I'm sorry to say this but I think the Intestate laws in this country do not take into account family dynamics. I should imagine that if there is no will all offspring will get an equal share.

Lyn T
 

2197alexandra

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
355
Sileby
Just out of interest I had a quick google and I think lyn is right. No will = everyone gets there share whether they've been around or not.
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
She would get the same as you if there is no will. If she does not she can most likely contest the will and would almost certainly win.
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
So sorry, I have no idea. Citizens advice may be able to help. I can only imagine the stress your going through.
From a self indulgent perspective I take heart in other peoples family drama as my own is quite awful too. One sibling turns up every 3-4 months to have a gawp and disappears after 5 minutes literally. This sibling takes takes takes but never gives!
I think your wise to be prepared.
Take care
Family's
I have always been there for Mum Dad every step of the way when dad became ill 9 weeks and we lost him and for last 17 months been looking after mum and dealing with Mums diagnosis in dec 14 wouldn't want to be responsible for my actions if she did turn up will get in touch with citizens advice thanks for replying take care x
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,245
65
Toronto, Canada
I would also see if your mother could make a will. My mother changed her will after diagnosis because she and her husband had split up. In fact, it was my stepfather who urged me to have Mum redo her will. Even though she was diagnosed, she was considered to have sufficient capacity as the lawyer asked her questions such as "Who are these people (my sister & I)?" "Who do you want your money to go to?" etc.
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
I'm sorry to say this but I think the Intestate laws in this country do not take into account family dynamics. I should imagine that if there is no will all offspring will get an equal share.

Lyn T
thanks Lyn I thought that would be the case take care x
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
I would also see if your mother could make a will. My mother changed her will after diagnosis because she and her husband had split up. In fact, it was my stepfather who urged me to have Mum redo her will. Even though she was diagnosed, she was considered to have sufficient capacity as the lawyer asked her questions such as "Who are these people (my sister & I)?" "Who do you want your money to go to?" etc.
thanks Joanne I'll look into mum making a will that's made me feel better I'm not bothered about the money but I would be so angry if she turned up Take Care Annie x
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
She would get the same as you if there is no will. If she does not she can most likely contest the will and would almost certainly win.
Thanks sistermillicent I'm going to look into Mum making A will like Canadian Joanne suggests and if she contests it ( surely she wouldn't have the cheek !!!!! ) that will be another bridge we have to cross Take care Annie x
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
Thanks sistermillicent I'm going to look into Mum making A will like Canadian Joanne suggests and if she contests it ( surely she wouldn't have the cheek !!!!! ) that will be another bridge we have to cross Take care Annie x
My mother took advice about removing my brother from her will. There was no issue of lack of capacity to make a new will at the time.

She hadn't heard from him for two years and had very little contact for years before that. The solicitor advised her that she should write a separate letter, which would also be witnessed by the solicitor, explaining her reasons for doing this, which would protect the other beneficiaries in the event that my brother tried to contest the will. The letter would then be kept with the original will at the solicitor's office.

Her advice was that if my mother's letter was factually correct, a challenge by my brother would be unlikely to succeed in overturning the will.

In the event she decided not to remove him completely but she did alter the % of her estate so that he will receive a smaller amount than my sister and I.
 

Adcat

Registered User
Jun 15, 2014
289
London
Thanks sistermillicent I'm going to look into Mum making A will like Canadian Joanne suggests and if she contests it ( surely she wouldn't have the cheek !!!!! ) that will be another bridge we have to cross Take care Annie x
Cheek is a funny old thing. My gawping sibling once had the audacity to tell me years ago that he wanted his inheritance before our parents died. I was so shocked I said nothing, but I have the memory parked in my brain. (Our parents are working class, had nothing, worked all their lives, saved and had a modest pension) He also wants the TV I got my mother ( she died two years ago. He wasn't with her as he 'couldn't face it'). I am now happily spending our inheritance (my fathers money) on my father. I was appointed Power of attorney. I now know why my gawping sibling wasn't! I have been accused of depriving dad of his assest. Home care is expensive :D
Take care and watch your back x
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
My mother took advice about removing my brother from her will. There was no issue of lack of capacity to make a new will at the time.

She hadn't heard from him for two years and had very little contact for years before that. The solicitor advised her that she should write a separate letter, which would also be witnessed by the solicitor, explaining her reasons for doing this, which would protect the other beneficiaries in the event that my brother tried to contest the will. The letter would then be kept with the original will at the solicitor's office.

Her advice was that if my mother's letter was factually correct, a challenge by my brother would be unlikely to succeed in overturning the will.

In the event she decided not to remove him completely but she did alter the % of her estate so that he will receive a smaller amount than my sister and I.
Thanks Pickles I needto start things moving sooner rather than later thankyou again for your reply take care Annnie x
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
Cheek is a funny old thing. My gawping sibling once had the audacity to tell me years ago that he wanted his inheritance before our parents died. I was so shocked I said nothing, but I have the memory parked in my brain. (Our parents are working class, had nothing, worked all their lives, saved and had a modest pension) He also wants the TV I got my mother ( she died two years ago. He wasn't with her as he 'couldn't face it'). I am now happily spending our inheritance (my fathers money) on my father. I was appointed Power of attorney. I now know why my gawping sibling wasn't! I have been accused of depriving dad of his assest. Home care is expensive :D
Take care and watch your back x
your right cheek is a funny old thing and thick skinned as we say in yorkshire I hav'nt got poa yet just in the process my parents the same working class dad left mum ok but trying to get her to spend anything on herself a nightmare !!! Did manage to get her to buy one of those new hoovers light and cordless just the job and yes home care and every personal alarm going is expensive and we take her to wait rose for her shop why shouldn't she have the best !!! Rate we're going they'll be nowt left lol take care Annie
 

opaline

Registered User
Nov 13, 2014
182
When my granddad died my estranged aunt turned up (they always do!) tried to contest the will as my mum had bought his house and it had been willed to her, the will was water-tight, though and the lawyer told her exactly where to go! Good luck, x
 

Anniebell

Registered User
Jan 31, 2015
115
When my granddad died my estranged aunt turned up (they always do!) tried to contest the will as my mum had bought his house and it had been willed to her, the will was water-tight, though and the lawyer told her exactly where to go! Good luck, x
Thanks opaline take care x