My dad is currently in interim care at an EMI care home. He is a relatively capable, physically fit 69 year old who has no insight into his condition (vascular dementia) and doesn't understand what he's doing 'in this place'. The range of his capabilities means that within 48 hours, he had memorised the code for the doors (why can he remember this, but not what he did 5 minutes ago?!). So today I have has 2 telephone calls to say he has escaped... The first time he was collected by police a short distance from the home within the hour. The second time it has taken 3 hours to locate him (at his house 3 miles away - again, how does he manage this when some days we have the repeated conversation 'where do I live again?'??) The deputy manager said to me that they will speak to the social worker tomorrow and he will be moved somewhere more secure as they cannot cope with him. She asked if I could go and stay at his house with him. Er, no - I have kids, a family, a life of my own. She asked if he could go home with carers going in. Does she not think we have thought of this? Nobody takes the decision to put someone into a care home lightly! As I say, he is pretty capable and physically fit and strong. He doesn't want to be in the home and believes there is no reason to be there, but he has been assessed by the social worker & occupational therapist as needing 24 hour care. He forgets to eat, leaves the gas on, etc and carers coming in wouldn't help as before his hospital admission he was rarely in the house - he'd go to the pub maybe 4 times a day having forgotten he'd been at all that day..His memory is even worse now following his most recent collapse, but he never forgets his way to the pub! So what next? I can't envisage a sufficent care package that will enable dad to return home and be safe, but what if he never settles in the care home? Is there anything I can do to help him accept he needs help and to help him settle? Do you think this is a phase that will pass? He did try to escape from the hospital, but not so determindly as this! Tonight he has moved to a different floor where he doesn't know the code for the doors. Yet. I am living on eggshells!