End stage ... so many mixed emotions

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Linbrusco, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    @canary
    @Amy in the US

    Thanks so much. Mum has a crackle in her chest but no worse.
    Her care home is finalising all the paperwork for her to be moved to Hospital level at her care home.
    A move of significance, because as we know being moved from the Dementia Unit to their Hospital signifies Mums remaining days. :(
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,524
    Female
    South coast
    :( indeed..............

    Holding your virtual hand through these coming days
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,576
    Female
    Dundee
    Thinking of you @Linbrusco and wishing you strength and wishing your mum peace.
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,206
    Merseyside
    Thinking of you all.
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    Lin, I'm sorry.
     
  6. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,993
    Nottinghamshire
    I’m so sorry @Linbrusco . Sending strength for the days ahead.
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,969
    Suffolk
    Thinking of you and your Mum, Lin.
     
  8. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    97
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Thinking of you and hope the move helps settle her and keep her comfortable, it’s awful to even contemplate how hard it must be for you . Mums not eaten now for two days the home rang me to say they were having a meeting today and maybe she needs to move to nursing rather than care home, I don’t want to move her as she knows the staff and they are good with her , but she is needing more care and they feel that poss they’re not meeting her needs . I hope she can remain there and that the final stage is not too far away . Such a sad time for all , I reckon another night of crying myself to sleep. ❤️
     
  9. Ostrich63

    Ostrich63 Registered User

    Jul 9, 2018
    27
    I will join you in the heart in mouth living we seem to do while watching our lives dissolve and trying our best to make it as easy as possible. *************hugs to you************
     
  10. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    272
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    Sending lots of love to you @Linbrusco. I know it is such a feeling of helplessness watching your loved one slowly slipping away.
     
  11. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    @Linbrusco, just wanted to see how you are doing.
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,524
    Female
    South coast
    Popping in to top up your (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
     
  13. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    #33 Linbrusco, Jan 16, 2019
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
    Thanks xx
    Mum hasnt had a temperature for 2 days so seems to have responded to antibiotics, but yesterday vomited what little breakfast she ate.
    I noticed too with drinking she is starting to take little coughs in between.
    She had quite a lucid few minutes when visiting and tried to get out the lazy boy, so we stood her up and it took me and a carer on each side to walk a few steps. Back in the lazy boy and back to sleep again.
    They’re just getting her room ready in the Hospital Wing. Hoping for a smooth transition.
     
  14. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    Lin, I hope the move to the new room goes smoothly. Sending ((((((hugs)))))).
     
  15. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    My Mum was moved from her 3rd floor Dementia Care Unit to the 2nd floor Hospital Care.

    In Mums dementia unit there is a Chinese gentleman who has been there just a few months but he seemed to take a liking to Mum when she was still able to talk some and interact.
    In the last 8 weeks with her decline had taken to trying to feed Mum, holding her hand or putting a blanket over her.
    He was most concerned about her this morning and was crying his eyes out when Mum was transferred to a wheelchair, and the carers were saying goodbyes :(
    Mum is in a nice room overlooking a garden.
    At least her belongings, flowers & pictures wont be taken or moved , as in the Dementia Unit ;)

    Mum is only able to stand, walk, transfer to chair with total assistance.
    She drinks about 250ml of Fortasip a day. Maybe another 100ml of water/lemon barley.
    Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner is maybe 6 small spoonfulls of mashed or pureed food.
    Her legs and feet are becoming purple due to circulation.
    She is starting to pick at her chin so has a scab.
    sleeps or is awake with eyes closed maybe 23 hrs a day.
    When she is awake she is quite alert, but for 20 mns max.
    Only speaks 3-4 words.
    Doesnt show any recognition of any of us, but when bringing up some old memory Mum can sometimes raise a smile or wee laugh.

    I still wish for a call to say Mum has passed.
    Shes just pulled through a chest infection but its taken its toll :(
     
  16. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,969
    Suffolk
    ((((((More Hugs, Lin))))))
     
  17. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,524
    Female
    South coast
    Im glad she has managed the move and you have made her room nice for her.
    Unfortunately, people can last a long time like that and its the waiting that is hard.
     

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