End stage cancer with dementia

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Roziii, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. Roziii

    Roziii Registered User

    Jul 28, 2017
    25
    Hi everyone it’s really hard for the person who is sick and has dementia and for family.Mother in law has terminal cancer- in hospital not eating or drinking.She has catheter .Sleeping all day.

    They are insisting we take her home as hospice will only take her when she is 2 weeks from dying.She gets severe pain in her back due to bone cancer and I am panicking how we will keep her comfortable at home.I do not want her to suffer severe pain- also when they start a painkiller pump she may need top up painkiller injections which the district nurses give- It is often 2 hours before they come due to staff shortages.I had awful experience with my dad 2 years ago - we looked after him at home and I felt traumatised and found the responsibility very stressful. I also cannot get time off work as this is not my first degree relative -she’s my mother in law and worry I will not cope with work or make error .I could be up all night and then have to go work.Im stressing and want to do my best for her.We have been told she could go into a nursing home which is paid for but I feel bad about putting her in nursing home.
     
  2. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    611
    @Roziii , a nursing home will be able to manage her medical needs better than you can at home and enable you and the family to be family and really focus on your mother in law’s emotional and spiritual well being. You are not ‘putting her away’ but doing the best for her.
     

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