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End of mums journey

Frank24

Registered User
Feb 13, 2018
352
0
My mum died on Monday. It was honestly quite a horrific experience. There was a complication with the paperwork required for the syringe driver which meant I was on hold to the GP surgery myself 12th in the queue as my mum was suffering. I also had my brother being verbally abusive to the care home nurses at the same time so I was trying to calm him down at the same time. I’m glad she is no longer confused and in pain but I feel traumatised by the whole experience.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
76,341
0
Kent
I’m so sorry to hear this @Frank24 We had to wait 2 hours for the district nurses to install the syringe driver and it really was the traumatic experience just as you found.

I’m ok about it now because once the syringe driver was in place the peace on my husbands face was such a relief. I hope you found this too

I’m so sorry you had this experience. My heart goes out to you
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
431
0
@Frank24 I’m so sorry 💐😭. I don’t know what to say about your terrible experience except that it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Losing your beloved Mum is traumatic enough without such things happening. Wishing you strength xxx
 

Frank24

Registered User
Feb 13, 2018
352
0
I’m so sorry to hear this @Frank24 We had to wait 2 hours for the district nurses to install the syringe driver and it really was the traumatic experience just as you found.

I’m ok about it now because once the syringe driver was in place the peace on my husbands face was such a relief. I hope you found this too

I’m so sorry you had this experience. My heart goes out to you
The syringe driver didn’t arrive in time sadly. I’m glad it did for you. I feel a bit let down by the hospice team as they made it sound as though everything was in place on the site but when the district nurse turned up they had to sign her away again as they didn’t have the totem or the mar sheet that they fill out for the drugs. Surely this can’t be normal?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
18,895
0
South coast
Ive just come across this thread. I am so sorry it was traumatic - watching someone die from dementia is harrowing at the best of times.
She is at peace now, try and find some peace yourself
xxx
 

Sheelagh7

Registered User
Feb 25, 2022
56
0
So sorry to hear your mother had such a traumatic death, hopefully you will draw comfort from knowing that she is now at peace and no longer suffering, and once the funeral is over you can start to look to the future again. My mum died recently and the nursing home had the morphine pump ready for her for 9 months, but in the end it wasn't required. My brother & myself are just so relieved that she has gone and no longer suffering from this awful disease, she disappeared in front of us over the course of 4 years. Take care.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,357
0
So sorry @Frank24 it's always going to be a difficult time but your mums experience sounds very distressing and I am not surprised that you were left traumatised. Be comforted by the thought that she is now at peace with no more suffering.

It will take you a long time to recover but you can take heart in the fact that you truly were a very loving son and you did your very best for your mum, she would be proud. I hope that you can find some kind of peace or acceptance yourself with what happened and I wish you well.
 

Frank24

Registered User
Feb 13, 2018
352
0
So sorry @Frank24 it's always going to be a difficult time but your mums experience sounds very distressing and I am not surprised that you were left traumatised. Be comforted by the thought that she is now at peace with no more suffering.

It will take you a long time to recover but you can take heart in the fact that you truly were a very loving son and you did your very best for your mum, she would be proud. I hope that you can find some kind of peace or acceptance yourself with what happened and I wish you well.
I was her daughter actually. I know my user name is misleading. I picked it purposely just in case family members were reading. Her son wasn’t very loving! But is doing a great impression now…
 

Frank24

Registered User
Feb 13, 2018
352
0
So sorry to hear your mother had such a traumatic death, hopefully you will draw comfort from knowing that she is now at peace and no longer suffering, and once the funeral is over you can start to look to the future again. My mum died recently and the nursing home had the morphine pump ready for her for 9 months, but in the end it wasn't required. My brother & myself are just so relieved that she has gone and no longer suffering from this awful disease, she disappeared in front of us over the course of 4 years. Take care.
Yes there is a huge sense of relief. I didn’t want her to carry on like she was but it’s so hard.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
899
0
@Frank24, I'm just catching up with this thread. Condolences on your loss. I completely understand your sense of relief that your mother's dementia journey has ended. I am very sad to read that you were so let down at the end though, made all the more difficult by your brother's dreadful behaviour. As others have said, please take comfort from the fact that you were a loving daughter who did her very best for her mother right to the end. You had no control over the actions and inactions of others.