End of life

[Cez]

My mother has matastasised cancer of the kidney & breast, also dementia, which of these illnesses is most like to end her life?

 

[jennifer1967]

it depends how fast each progresses. im not a doctor so it would probably be better to ask her doctors what they think.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Your poor mum. I'm so sorry.

I'm afraid the answer is, 'That depends...' Dementia is terminal but so is cancer that has spread so as @jennifer1967 says, it depends how advanced each disease is.

My mother used to say, 'We all have to die of something!' and in her case she was pretty well physically. The dementia caused her death though she didn't reach the 'end' stage of being silent and bedbound, for which I am grateful.

 

[Duggies-girl]

My mother has matastasised cancer of the kidney & breast, also dementia, which of these illnesses is most like to end her life?

My dad had dementia and cancer and he lived far longer than was expected. The cause of death on the certificate was cancer followed by dementia. My opinion was that his body just could not go on anymore and death was inevitable.

It's horrible and I just wished for it to end quickly and it's okay to feel like that if you do.

 

[Cez]

Duggies-girl
Thank you for your reply. I sometimes find myself thinking I wish it would all end, & then feel guilty. Mum has battled the cancer for 10yrs, but now the dementia is the final straw. She is not our mum any more, and there's nothing we can do to make it better for her, other than be there to reassure & remind her how much she's loved. I feel so helpless.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Duggies-girl
Thank you for your reply. I sometimes find myself thinking I wish it would all end, & then feel guilty. Mum has battled the cancer for 10yrs, but now the dementia is the final straw. She is not our mum any more, and there's nothing we can do to make it better for her, other than be there to reassure & remind her how much she's loved. I feel so helpless.

So sorry @Cez I was lucky that dad was still dad right to the end but very confused and could not remember that he was ill. Sometimes I told him the truth, other times I didn't but I always told him that I loved him. Dad had dementia long before the cancer but dementia is far worse in my opinion, it just makes every little thing that much more difficult.

I would not wish this on anybody and I still can't understand how his body carried on but it did. You are saying the right things and you can do no more. It's not your fault so try not to feel guilty.