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    Our next expert Q&A will be hosted by Simon from our Knowledge Services team. He will be answering your questions on Thursday 22nd November from 3-4pm.

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End of life

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Teddybear12, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    Mum has had a sore tongue for six weeks so eating less and less.they treated her for oral thrust but now feel can be link to diabetes so poor lady wasting away.after just getting her in to hospital with aching back we found the cause of bad back pains is an aortic aneurysm .Due to her AL and age 86 the medical team feel it would be cruel to give her surgery .We can only go with there judgement .sad end to this terrible disease . MRI scan tomorrow waiting on results.
     
  2. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    7,841
    leicester
    Sorry to read this, I suppose I can understand the medics reluctance to operate that is a big operation.
    I hope you get some answers that will help keep your Mum comfortable
     
  3. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    742
    Female
    South of the Border
    My Mum had an aortic aneurysm - knew about it for a couple of years before it ruptured - they operated, but her heart gave out and she died on operating table - they had actually completed the operation successfully when her heart stopped. She was 91.
     
  4. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,005
    Such a frightening event @maryjoan and an awful thing to have to live with. My mum had an aortic aneurysm but they would not operate because of her other problems. It ruptured one evening while she and dad were watching TV and dad called an ambulance. They took her on a blue light journey to the local hospital and then on to Kings in London where they operated and fixed it. She lived another 6 months. Amazing lady my mum and one of the very very few to survive a rupture. She was 78

    I promised mum I would be tested for it. I will one day.
     
  5. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    742
    Female
    South of the Border
    Myself and my siblings were tested shortly after Mum died - and we were all clear - but it is well worth doing - under our circumstances the Doctors thought it was essential to check us out...
     
  6. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    Sorry for your loss .Tough times for all involved i know x
     
  7. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    well from being told that mums life is near the end .i read that people live with enlarged aorta .i go in the hospital to see mum, to see catheter removed mum sitting up in a chair feeding herself .still being given painkillers but seem so positive i was in shock . how 24 hours her condition swung around.just got to try to keep positive .
     
  8. lemonjuice

    lemonjuice Registered User

    Jun 15, 2016
    1,537
    England
    This situation seems to be so common and I've said before it's almost as if PWD have an extra immunity against the process of dying. I was warned nearly 6 years before her death, when my mother was in hospital with an enlarged heart, Bradycardia and ongoing heart disease following her MI 40 years previously o_O, yes 40+ years, apart from the Dementia that we should 'just let 'nature take its course'. Which it did, but did take a long time to reach its end.
     
  9. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    Now i find out she has a UTI which could have been her pain and delusional behaviour.still deal with that and oral thrush .So wonder whether the aorta issue although been found and is a major problem was not the pain issue but the UTI? Gezz we all become buddy medics .
     
  10. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    Mum now not eating I fear the worse still in hospital .Next stop was respite but I don't feel we are going to get her there, worries coming now.
     
  11. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    whilst arriving at hospital I got the call mum health had worsened the aneurysm had leaked and she passed with me by her side, her journey with Alzheimer's has ended and so has ours . God rest your soul mum always in our hearts. Dad awaits xxx
     
  12. Lorna44

    Lorna44 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2016
    156
    Female
    Surrey
    I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you x
     
  13. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    57,413
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh @Teddybear12 I am so sorry to read your news.

    I'm so glad you were able to be at your mum's side when she passed away. As you say, she has now found peace.

    Sending my condolences and wishing you peace for the days and weeks to come.
     
  14. KathrynAnne

    KathrynAnne Registered User

    Jun 6, 2018
    145
    Female
    South Yorkshire
    I’m really sorry for your loss. Lovely that you were with your Mum at the end. God bless xxx
     
  15. Teddybear12

    Teddybear12 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2016
    42
    Male
    London
    Thank you for your thoughts one and all .Our journey was only four years and looking back to so many people here have a lot more difficult time/s than I ever had .My thoughts are with you all with this terrible disease and there love ones that care so much to give them help in there latter years. God bless you all xxx
     
  16. try again

    try again Registered User

    Jun 21, 2018
    229
    So sorry for you loss.
     

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