Hello I'm a newbie here so not sure if posting in the right place. My mum 87 being cared for at home and has mixed dementia (Vascular) diagnosed 3 years ago and has been bedridden since June last year with full care package. She has been deteriorating rapidly over the past month & has been sleeping more - & going into what I can only call a trance for a few minutes that I cant seem to bring her out of. Her eyes are closed all the time and is quite frequently agitated throughout the day (Lorezpam). Her food & liquids are thickened as her swallow is deteriorating as well and is developing multiple bedsores and skin now breaking down, she also has swelling in hands, lower arms and feet. She no longer recognises any of her family and constantly calling out for dead relatives. Her GP attended her last week as she seemed to be unresponsive at times. The GP has now put in place and End of Life Care Plan and as her bones are cracking on movement he has prescribed Oromorph 1ml every 4 hours and a referral for the hospice nurse to attend mum to carry out a pain management assessment. We have to keep turning her to alleviate the sores and these are being treated by the nurse. I am totally confused and don't know if this is normal (if anything with dementia is normal) that happens because the doctor has also asked a dietitian and SALT nurse to come out and see mum - they have been out before so I just don't know the reasoning for this at end of life care. She is still being fed porridge, youghurts etc., only a few spoonfuls. Is mum really at the end or like the rest of this terrible illness can this "stage" go on indefinitely I am just so confused any advice???
End of Life Confused
- Thread starter mallow
- Start date
hi mallow,
sounds like end of care is where you are at. Once the swallow reflex goes there is not much you can do other than moisten the lips and use pain relief patches. my mum took 9 days from when she could no longer swallow to when she passed. I was horrified that she was just starving to death but it was explained to me that as her brain was dying it was no longer telling her that she needed food and was just slowly shutting down her body. we made the choice not to send her to hospital where they could have fed her artificially as we felt this would just prolong the inevitable. thoughts are with you xx
sounds like end of care is where you are at. Once the swallow reflex goes there is not much you can do other than moisten the lips and use pain relief patches. my mum took 9 days from when she could no longer swallow to when she passed. I was horrified that she was just starving to death but it was explained to me that as her brain was dying it was no longer telling her that she needed food and was just slowly shutting down her body. we made the choice not to send her to hospital where they could have fed her artificially as we felt this would just prolong the inevitable. thoughts are with you xx
Thank you for taking the time to reply - I'm sorry about your husband dreadful illness
Ah thanks - helps to know people are here to answer difficult questions at difficult times xx
Hi @mallow and welcome to the forum.
As others have said it does sound very much like end of life. My mum's last few weeks were very much as you describe. She died at home with us and I has very good support from the district nurses and at the end the Marie Cure nurses. My husband died two and a half years ago in hospital. Again it was very much as you describe but he wasn't fed. He was suffering from aspiration pneumonia.
It's a difficult time for time for you and I'm glad you've found the forum. Wishing you strength.
As others have said it does sound very much like end of life. My mum's last few weeks were very much as you describe. She died at home with us and I has very good support from the district nurses and at the end the Marie Cure nurses. My husband died two and a half years ago in hospital. Again it was very much as you describe but he wasn't fed. He was suffering from aspiration pneumonia.
It's a difficult time for time for you and I'm glad you've found the forum. Wishing you strength.
