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Agree there is no dignity when someone is bedridden chocking on the small amount of food they eat doubly incontinent can't communicate etc etc . Its living hellMany thanks @silkiest , I totally agree. Doctors seem to be very guarded when discussing end of life treatment when all the relatives want is for their loved one to be put out of their misery, especially in dementia situations. It's not as if there is a possibility they will recover! There is a morphine pump at the nursing home with mum's name on it, it's been sitting there for 8 months! Why prolong their suffering?
I agree about not prolonging life, but there are many people who do not feel like this, desperately want to hold on to their loved one and see any attempt towithhold treatment as tantamount to murder. The fact that there have been some high profile cases of doctors being convicted of killing their elderly patients hasnt helped this perception. Many doctors are wary of being sued as well, so even if their inclination is not to treat they feel they have to tread carefully
I understand that argument and I would probably feel the same way if mum was much younger and had another illness where there was a chance of recovery, even if that was slim. However, when dealing with a very elderly person with dementia, in a lot of respects the person has already gone just leaving their shell.I agree about not prolonging life, but there are many people who do not feel like this, desperately want to hold on to their loved one and see any attempt to withhold treatment as tantamount to murder. The fact that there have been some high profile cases of doctors being convicted of killing their elderly patients hasnt helped this perception. Many doctors are wary of being sued as well, so even if their inclination is not to treat they feel they have to tread carefully.
I hope so visited my mum Saturday wasn’t pleasant she was very distressed and the staff seem to be on a challenge to see who can get the most fluid down her whilst she is very chesty , so cruelNo nothing yet, since I met the GP at the nursing home 2 weeks ago.
We are visiting mum again this afternoon so it will be interesting to see if the higher dose of morphine is making a difference.
Has she got a care record In her room it should have said in their if she has sat out . Someone told us the same thing once mum had been sat out we knew it was wrong . She must be in so much pain with her feetMum was a bit chesty yesterday, she didn't really wake up while we were visiting, although she did hold my hand. The carer managed to get a few mouthfuls of soup down her, again she didn't wake up but felt the spoon on her lips and took the soup. I had a quick look at her feet before I left and the gangrene looks to have spread to her other foot now. I'm not sure if mum was just having a bad day or whether the increased strength of the morphine patches is making a difference. We were told mum had been sitting downstairs the previous day (mother's day) but my brother & I couldn't imagine how that could possibly be as she can't even hold her head up, let alone sit up in a chair. I am sure they must have confused her with another inmate, sorry resident!
Still waiting for a call back from the LA to discuss mum's situation ...
Very true Sylvia. I was thinking of it more from the prospective of mum being distressed by having the injection as there's no muscle left on her as she's been bed bound for 9 months now and has lost a lot of weight in that time (over 3 stone).Your mum is still being attended to by carers which is probably why the GP thought it better for her to have a fourth vaccination.
so sorry to read this. You are having an incredibly difficult time seeing your Mum like this. And selflessly you remind others to try to keep smiling!We've now seen mum twice since the home was in covid lockdown and she really isn't responsive any more so I am confident that the higher dosage of morphine patches are working and hopefully keeping the pain from her gangrene feet at bay. A carer came to feed mum while we were there yesterday and she managed to get mum to have 2 or 3 sips of soup but after that mum put her hands to her mouth to block the carer getting the spoon anywhere near her mouth. Mum no longer opens her eyes and according to the chart she has lost another 2.4kg, so mum is now about 7 stone which shows as she is tall, there's more meat on a skeleton! She was also given her 4th covid vaccine yesterday too, we don't really see the point in mum having it as she is very isolated at the end of a corridor but I wasn't quick enough to say no when I was called from the home about it, so left it up to the GP to decide whether to administer it.
There's still no response from the GP surgery to my queries regarding end of life status vs palliative stable. Hey ho, not sure I have enough strength to continue fighting that one...
I hope everyone else is hanging in there with their situation, try to keep smiling