1. Q&A: Looking after yourself as a carer - Friday 25 January, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of that person will often come before your own, and this can mean that you don't always look after yourself.

    However, it's important for both you and the person you care for. But how do you do that properly?

    Our next expert Q&A will be on looking after yourself as a carer. It will be hosted by Angelo from our Knowledge Services team, who focuses on wellbeing. He'll be answering your questions on Friday 25 January between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

End coming soon?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Baby Bunty, Jan 8, 2019.

  1. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Well i didnt for one minute think i would still be posting..but yet my darling mum is still hanging on through this horrific journey!!..how long is how long..i know no answers..district nurse came today and said yes deteriorating worse..mum been end off life for months..awake for 15 to 30 minutes a day..taking tiny morsels off yoghurt. Still having ensures but that is dwindling now..nurses have said they happy at moment that mum is comfortable..pain patch insitu and orormorph and haliprodol given if needed..nurses have stressed no to force feed me..which i am glad..as one off my brothers constanly badges mum to eat..they said offer if refuses its fine just give mouth care..this journey as been so so long ( March 2018)..deemed end off life..i just wish my beautiful darling mum would be at peace.xxxd
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,861
    Male
    That must be so difficult to bear. I wish you the strength needed to see it through.

    I'm glad your mum is comfortable.
     
  3. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Thankyou for your reply..just feeling overwhelmed agian..crying constantly. I want mum at peace then i feel guilty..but its soul destroying to see her..lying in feocal postion so so vulnerable weighting next to nothing..my proud beatiful mum is skin and bone..
     
  4. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,861
    Male
    I know, I've been there with both parents.

    All I can do is send a virtual ((HUG))
     
  5. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Sorry to hear that..thsnkyou.x
     
  6. Kat loves milk tray

    Kat loves milk tray Registered User

    Jan 1, 2019
    13
    I have not experienced this but can only imagine it’s a painful journey for you. Glad your mum is comfortable and you have support from the nurses. Sending a big hug at this emotional time ..
     
  7. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Thank you so much.x all i want its for mum to pain free..and at peace..to see my strong independent mother off 8..just lying there is soul destroying. Not just for me but my whole family!.xxx
     
  8. Misstep

    Misstep Registered User

    Oct 7, 2015
    53
    South Wales
    Me too, for both your mum & mine
     
  9. chickenlady

    chickenlady Registered User

    Feb 28, 2016
    59
    It's horrible to watch my Dad died in November, he was taking fluids and teaspoons of yoghurt up until 1 day before he died. 24 hrs before he died he was stroking my cat and saying lovely. My Mum was badgering him to try and eat until very close to the end, I think part of it was trying to deny that he was really as bad as we were saying and partly to maintain some control of the situation. Best wishes to you and your family, thinking of you.
     
  10. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Hi all..i am sure universe is trying to test how strong i am...husband admitted to hospitial with pneumonia and type A flu..really poorly but thankfully makeing a recovery..he been in for 6 days..to say my nervous are completely gone is an understatement..going back to mum i go to bed every night with mobile and house phone next to me..i phone last thing and first think..mums literally only taking sips now..but has managed quiet a bit overnight..were as yesterday she hardly had any..doctor as reviewed medication..as she having break through pain relief as well as wearing patches..and given haliprodol!!.he as now upped dose off ororomorph..very tired as i had no sleep..mum is constantly on my mind!!..i so so wish and so does family that mum falls into a deep and peacefull sleep..xxx
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,950
    Female
    South coast
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    That must have been tough having your husband ill as well.
    Im glad hes improving.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    67,562
    Kent
    Thinking of you @Baby Bunty. You are certainly being tested.
     
  13. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    216
    @Baby Bunty that sounds so tough for you. Hope your husband gets better soon and that your mother is soon at rest. Thinking of you, and remember to try and look after yourself as well as everyone else.
     
  14. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,446
    USA
    Oh that is a lot going on all at once. How are you doing, @Baby Bunty?
     
  15. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    I am in heartbroken..struggling trying to juggle all my emotions..i am a nurse so i deal with illness wellbeing and sometimes death on a daily basis..but i struggle with my emotions with mum..she is my world..i totally adore her..i have struggled with my emotions for over a long time..but lost mil 8 months ago..and i seemed to manager alot better..i know that sounds strange ..but i had to think of my husband daughter and father inlaw..and even brother in law..i am the worrier!!..but now its back to mum just wish if thats the right word..that my darling mum would just be at rest..also thankyou all as i honestly dont know how i could off gone through this journey with the support off you all..you all inspire me..thankyou all so so much.xx
     
  16. Baby Bunty

    Baby Bunty Registered User

    Jan 24, 2018
    267
    Ps husband still weak..but he getting better thankgod!!
     

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